Driving/Public Transportation

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I'm talking about waiting by the bus stop by yourself at night, walking somewhere, not so much the riding the bus part. If your alone then it may not be safe for me. That's one thing that sucks about being a skinny girl.

I'd suggest self-defense classes, then. You'll feel a lot more confident if you know how to handle yourself in that situation.

What sort of self defensive weapons are legal where you are? I'd suggest that if it's legal, you arm yourself with a small handgun. Something like a .38, and take classes to learn how to use it. If that's not legal, then I'd suggest some sort of pepper spray. I would suggest a knife, but that does take skill.

If you take self defense classes, make sure that it's a class that teaches something that will help you if the other person isn't fighting by the same rules or with the same technique that you will be taught. This may rule out something like the garden variety Karate that is taught in those studios. I'm for self defense classes, but it takes a good bit of skill and/or strength to disarm an attacker. Look at the site HERE <link> for lots of good information on self defense for the regular person. He has a broad range of information from everyone from the average girl out alone at night to mercenaries. I'm sure you can find lots of suggestions.

If your inability to drive is because of panic / extreme fear and not something worse - this was my experience:


When I was in high school in driver's ed class, I dreaded having my turn come up to drive. My only bit of comfort was knowing the teacher had his own set of controls to override my actions. I was a mess. At the end of that course, the school's driver ed teacher told me and my parents that I would "never learn to drive" (his exact words).

Oh no I thought - I need to learn this to get away.


My mom decided to get me private driving lessons - just me and an instructor.
After the first few private lessons, he had me driving on the highways (slowly), and I was even parallel parking. Believe me, I was still scared, but I was doing this - I could drive.


Now, decades later, I still have a lot of fear when driving, and especially driving somewhere I've never been before, but at least I have the freedom to drive. I can go where I need to go. I still get lost all of the time (even only a mile from home), but I have a cell phone for emergencies.


Private lessons can be good if you have this opportunity, and can help get to over the initial mountain of fear.

@ the OP (Ai Ling):
Honestly, It sounds more like you were a victim of a system setup to train and test NT's then anything else...... I could be wrong, but w/e. This would quickly get into "Is everyone capable of anything with enough Effort?" vs "Is the effort required to make it happen worth the time?".

That said, are you really bad with directions? Or do you just not feel confident because nobody friendly/understanding enough has taken the time to sit down and try and teach you? Personally it took me years to develop an internal compass, and what did it for me was learning how to read Maps and a basic understanding of the US. Address Grid System. Now, if I can find a road with Numbers instead of a Name (Or even both), I generally know where I am, and how to get where Im going.

Finally on this tangent, I agree with with Goodwitchy. The right people make all the difference. I had Driver's Ed in High School, but if it hadn't been for my parents, and a crazy uncle of mine with a vehicle he was confident in taking off road, I would have failed the drivers test for sure, my tester drove me nuts (I almost failed anyway because I was worried about her), but because of the experiences I had I was able to focus on those part way through (Instead of worrying about her) and passed first time. I now drive quasi-professionally, and have been logging 50-150 Miles a day for about 3 years now (My first driving job was in a 20,000 GVW UPS Style truck!, navigating Narrow streets and Boonies Gravel Drive ways, going to up to 170 stops a day, talk about a confidence builder, lol).

Last point: Public Transportation. I was on public Trans from High School up until I got my first car (Which was actually after I started driving someone else's truck for work, Ironically enough), all told about 5 years or so. One of my friends used to refer to the people he would meet jokingly as "The Crazy Bus People" (Meant to be a joke). I don't know where you live, so I don't know what conditions are like, but it was pretty easy for us to segregate ourselves during all hours from most other people. Most buses are under full first off, and because School Bus Mentality dictates "The cool kids sit at the back", most of the more obnoxious people will tend to be in the back. So Sitting at front near the driver is a good idea and generally theres more space and its quieter. Further, no Bus Driver is going to sit idly by while someone on the bus is actively being harassed or assaulted on said bus (Might take them awhile to figure out whats going on, but they are usually bound by their bus service to keep order on their buses). Finally, Most public busses Ive seen in recent years have had Cameras installed inside, and most states Ive read these days have laws on the books making it a felony to assault a Bus Driver, and varying laws about assaulting Bus Riders. Further I have yet to hear about a bus service that service's any noteworthy sized population that DOES Not have a Security Service/Branch. You can try self-defense classes, but a Bus is a pretty narrow place to be attempting to perform judo.

Last point I promise: Carrying Groceries isn't too bad. It all depends on how far you're going, how much you have, and how busy the bus schedule is likely to be. Once you establish yourself somewhere (Get your own place), you'll get a feel pretty quick for what the local bus routes are like. Usually mornings and evenings buses are fuller because of Commuters, etc etc.

Good Luck,
Aldran

P.S. For what its worth, I wouldn't give up on driving just yet. My suggestion would be to ask somebody you know that understands you to teach you how to drive, and start easy, with an automatic. Learning maps before hand can help too. But all at your own pace, never let anyone pressure you to "Move ahead" until you're ready, whether its the vehicle you're driving, or the next step of the process to become a more confident driver.

Edited to Add: The Bus Services where I live have never had any issues dropping people (Particularly females) off closer to home at night. They wont deviate from their established Routes, but if your house is 1/2 way between two stops, just tell the driver, if its night time, and you're alone, Ive never seen a driver refuse a request to be dropped anywhere specific along their route.

I used to drive quite alot when I had access to a vehicle, and had insurance. But then I rolled my vehicle and it was eventually sold off. I did not have the money to replace it, and I never quite got over the serious accident I had. Now, I use city transit or my bicycle. Although I do rent a car once a year in the summer for a camping holiday. I generlly prefer not to drive anymore, though.

Have you tried a GPS that gives verbal turn by turn directions? As an NT, I find that Tom-Tom annoys me by constantly telling me what lane to be in, when a turn is coming up, etc.

Have you asked your driving instructor for his opinion on whether you can eventually be safe behind the wheel? Do you think it is an issue of mentally processing all the input, or do your problems stem more from anxiety?

I wonder how much you would have to pay someone to drive you around? Not every day, but perhaps once a week to the grocery, Walmart, etc. That would cut down on the safety issue. The coverage of public transport varies a lot by city.