Is attention-seeking part of Aspergers?

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GreySun369
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13 Jan 2012, 12:03 pm

I was wondering about this because I've started realizing I have an attention-seeking issue when it comes to the internet. People with Aspergers are supposed to have poor social skills yet they still crave love and attention just like NTs do, they're just not good at learning how to get it. I've heard a lot of Aspies say the internet is the best place for them to socialize, and I've never been really good at socializing on the internet except when discussing casual conversations about my favorite interests (I've started learning to avoid serious discussions such as religion and politics because I'm just no good with them). However I find that on the internet people actually pay attention to what I have to say even if they don't always like what I say, and it seems so easy for me to get people to notice me on the internet than it is in real life because in real life I have always been very mild mannered.

I guess it makes sense that someone with Aspergers would crave attention if they can't get it in normal ways right?



TheSunAlsoRises
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13 Jan 2012, 12:21 pm

GreySun369 wrote:
I was wondering about this because I've started realizing I have an attention-seeking issue when it comes to the internet. People with Aspergers are supposed to have poor social skills yet they still crave love and attention just like NTs do, they're just not good at learning how to get it. I've heard a lot of Aspies say the internet is the best place for them to socialize, and I've never been really good at socializing on the internet except when discussing casual conversations about my favorite interests (I've started learning to avoid serious discussions such as religion and politics because I'm just no good with them). However I find that on the internet people actually pay attention to what I have to say even if they don't always like what I say, and it seems so easy for me to get people to notice me on the internet than it is in real life because in real life I have always been very mild mannered.

I guess it makes sense that someone with Aspergers would crave attention if they can't get it in normal ways right?


I do NOT believe attention seeking is part of Aspergers BUT i do believe people with Aspergers seek attention, too.

There is a difference.

TheSunAlsoRises



GreySun369
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13 Jan 2012, 12:22 pm

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
GreySun369 wrote:
I was wondering about this because I've started realizing I have an attention-seeking issue when it comes to the internet. People with Aspergers are supposed to have poor social skills yet they still crave love and attention just like NTs do, they're just not good at learning how to get it. I've heard a lot of Aspies say the internet is the best place for them to socialize, and I've never been really good at socializing on the internet except when discussing casual conversations about my favorite interests (I've started learning to avoid serious discussions such as religion and politics because I'm just no good with them). However I find that on the internet people actually pay attention to what I have to say even if they don't always like what I say, and it seems so easy for me to get people to notice me on the internet than it is in real life because in real life I have always been very mild mannered.

I guess it makes sense that someone with Aspergers would crave attention if they can't get it in normal ways right?


I do NOT believe attention seeking is part of Aspergers BUT i do believe people with Aspergers seek attention, too.

There is a difference.

TheSunAlsoRises


Oh OK, I guess I worded that wrong. :oops:



League_Girl
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13 Jan 2012, 12:29 pm

I was an attention seeker as a kid. I did stuff to get attention and to see how people react. It was just something I had a hard time controlling then. I wonder if I had narcissistic tenancies.


BTW it didn't sound like attention seeking in your OP. How is posting online attention seeking? I thought attention seeking is more like posting things to get attention like posting about your issues over and over and always complaining to get sympathy or threatening suicide or baiting people in threads by trying to post things in it when there are no responses so you go back to fish for replies by bumping it again by adding another reply.

If posting online is attention seeking, then everyone is who posts online.



GreySun369
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13 Jan 2012, 12:33 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I was an attention seeker as a kid. I did stuff to get attention and to see how people react. It was just something I had a hard time controlling then. I wonder if I had narcissistic tenancies.


BTW it didn't sound like attention seeking in your OP. How is posting online attention seeking? I thought attention seeking is more like posting things to get attention like posting about your issues over and over and always complaining to get sympathy or threatening suicide or baiting people in threads by trying to post things in it when there are no responses so you go back to fish for replies by bumping it again by adding another reply.

If posting online is attention seeking, then everyone is who posts online.


A lot of my older posts as well as posts I've made on other forums are exactly like what you just described. I mean it's not normal to talk about my suicide attempt over and over, wondering out loud if I'm a sadist, and accusing my Mom of being a horribly abusive person when she really wasn't that bad despite her issues, is it?



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13 Jan 2012, 12:47 pm

I think a lot of ways of sharing info on the internet are geared towards attention-seeking. If anything, I've found it harder to share things and let people know me via posting on blogging sites for example, while my 'normal' online acquaintances seemed to do it easily.


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13 Jan 2012, 1:00 pm

A few months ago a thread came up called ''Are NTs Attention Seekers?''


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13 Jan 2012, 1:03 pm

Yes, yes they are.


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Sweetleaf
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13 Jan 2012, 1:09 pm

Is attention seeking a part of humanity? why yes in fact it is......no wonder people with aspergers would also experiance this.


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13 Jan 2012, 1:12 pm

Does God seek attention?...


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Joe90
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13 Jan 2012, 1:17 pm

Usually I find myself having these kinds of conversations with people:-

NT: I'm really fat, aren't I?
Me: No you're not
NT: How can I not be fat? Look at me!
Me: You don't look fat, I swear you don't
NT: I am fat
Me: All right, you're fat
NT (sarcastically): AM I??? AM I??? Oh cheers!

Or something like that over various things. But I suppose I'm just as bad. Last time I had an outburst and made everyone upset, I then made out I had a severe headache and felt sick, and nobody gave me any sympathy because I think they knew I was trying to creep around them again just to get sympathy and be forgiven. Apparently this is actually typical of a lot of humans - especially men and children.


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League_Girl
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13 Jan 2012, 1:31 pm

GreySun369 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I was an attention seeker as a kid. I did stuff to get attention and to see how people react. It was just something I had a hard time controlling then. I wonder if I had narcissistic tenancies.


BTW it didn't sound like attention seeking in your OP. How is posting online attention seeking? I thought attention seeking is more like posting things to get attention like posting about your issues over and over and always complaining to get sympathy or threatening suicide or baiting people in threads by trying to post things in it when there are no responses so you go back to fish for replies by bumping it again by adding another reply.

If posting online is attention seeking, then everyone is who posts online.


A lot of my older posts as well as posts I've made on other forums are exactly like what you just described. I mean it's not normal to talk about my suicide attempt over and over, wondering out loud if I'm a sadist, and accusing my Mom of being a horribly abusive person when she really wasn't that bad despite her issues, is it?



Oops, I haven't been paying all that attention to all your posts then because I haven't seen any of that from you.



John_lzhc
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13 Jan 2012, 4:31 pm

As a general rule, people attention seek because they need attention that they aren't getting. It could be they're not getting enough attention or human contact, or they have something that's bothering them that they feel other people are ignoring, so I wouldn't say attention seaking is part of Aspergers so much as a part of being human. However, those of us with lousy people/social skills can struggle to alert people to our needs 'normal' way (such as initiating a conversation about what's bothering us), so may be more inclined to resort to 'attention seeking' in order to meet our needs.

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However I find that on the internet people actually pay attention to what I have to say even if they don't always like what I say, and it seems so easy for me to get people to notice me on the internet than it is in real life because in real life I have always been very mild mannered.


Anything you type on the internet is liable to reach a much wider audience than anything said in real life, and there's generally less boundaries to responding to people. I could say something in the pub that will be herd by maybe four people I'm hanging out with - who would be the only people 'invited' to answer - the bar staff, and five other customers, the topic may last for about five minutes. On the other hand, I can come home from the pub and type the exact same thing on Wrong Planet, and it's there for the entire English speaking internet to read and respond to for as long as WP leaves the discussion thread open. um... I'm sure there's a point in there somewhere.



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13 Jan 2012, 4:46 pm

Sometimes people thought I was attention-seeking when really I wanted to be left alone. At school a couple of the girls were delibrately excluding me from the crowd and acting all bitchy towards me and making sure I was upset and isolated, and they gloated when I was seen on my own, and they made s**t up about me to the other girls, who were quite naive and so believed it (other people always get believed when it comes to my word against their's, it's always been the way). And it really did made me feel upset, so I usually found myself crying in class or at break, and some of the boys used to start calling me ''attention-seeker'', and one day I actually turned round to one of them and said, ''no, I'm actually feeling upset at the moment and I don't want anyone talking to me.''


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13 Jan 2012, 5:26 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Sometimes people thought I was attention-seeking when really I wanted to be left alone. At school a couple of the girls were delibrately excluding me from the crowd and acting all bitchy towards me and making sure I was upset and isolated, and they gloated when I was seen on my own, and they made sh** up about me to the other girls, who were quite naive and so believed it (other people always get believed when it comes to my word against their's, it's always been the way). And it really did made me feel upset, so I usually found myself crying in class or at break, and some of the boys used to start calling me ''attention-seeker'', and one day I actually turned round to one of them and said, ''no, I'm actually feeling upset at the moment and I don't want anyone talking to me.''


I got to experiance things like that quite a lot. I mean of course if people keep pushing me to my breaking point I'm going to get upset I don't see what was so entertaining about it.


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