Ideas for helping my 6 y/o AS sone transition to/from school

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My 6 y/o son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, SPD/SID, and ODD. We haven't started occupational therapy or any therapy yet and I could use some advice to get us through.

We are really struggling with our morning routine. I let him pick it out and it worked well for one day. Every other day has been torture. He normally wakes up at 6:50 by his Yoda alarm clock (which he loves). He is supposed to be dressed and downstairs by 7:00. We have to leave our house by 7:40 to get to school in time. He basically has 40 minutes to eat breakfast and brush his teeth. If he gets ready early, he gets to play. The problem is that he HATES getting his school clothes on. He told me that he loves school but he hates getting ready for school. We used to eat first and then get dressed, but were almost late everyday when we saved getting dressed for last.

We had a late day for inclement weather on Friday. His school was on a 2 hour day. He naturally wakes between 7:00-7:30, so he was up earlier than needed and watched about 20 minutes of TV prior to his routine and it went more smoothly. As bad as I don't want him to watch TV every morning, I am thinking that may help in transition. So, I'm already thinking if I wake him around 6:30, he would have plenty of time to watch a short TV show (right now his obsession is Power Rangers on netflix). Then he could get dressed and eat.

Any other suggestions?

Also, when I pick him up in the afternoons, he almost immediately starts screaming at everyone. I'm sure it is because of the stimulation of school and because of his outstanding behavior at school. He just needs to unleash. The problem is that we have a 15-25 minute drive home, depending on traffic, in a van with his 3 year old sister and 1 year old brother. He does best if he doesn't have to speak to anyone, but with a younger brother and sister, that is nearly impossible. My husband can get him some days, but it is generally me. I really need some ideas on how to make this ride home a smoother transition.

I feel like these are our two biggest hurdles right now and I'm stumped on how to help him.

Thanks for any input.

I think the morning TV is worth trying. But be very clear that it is for a trial period. Agree a week or something and make a chart to mark if you get to school on time or not. Agree how many days you must get to school on time, 3 or 4 maybe, you might need to define "on time" as well. If the target is met, the morning TV continues, if not, sit down and come up with another plan.

We use reward points. There is a 10 min window for arrival at school. If we are there in the first 5 minutes, 2 points are awarded. If we arrive during the second 5 min, only 1 point is awarded. Late = no points.

As to after school, again we used points, awarded for no fighting in the car. But getting sitting down and seatbelt on was our first battle every time we got into the car at that age. For that, once I was sitting and had my seatbelt on I conspicuously started timing and for every minute we had to wait for him to sit down, he lost a minute off his very limited TV time.
What helped a lot for car journeys in general, was kids audiobooks. Um, I did arrange the kids (all 2, in my 7 seater) so that DS couldn't reach DD from his car seat.
How about an MP3 player with big squishy headphones, so that he can listen to audiobooks or music. It blocks out other noises and discourages others from trying to interact with him. DS also has springy chewlery in the car. Chewing gum or putty might help too.
The transition out of school is really hard. They've held it together so long, as soon as they are "safe", the "safe" people get all the backlash.

I don't know car seat etc. laws where you are, but would it be an option to put him in his car seat in the front passenger seat, so that he has space from his siblings. Obviously if he is prone to lashing out, that wouldn't be a safe option.

Other ideas, a weighted lap pad (bag of dry rice) or vibrating toys - you know the pull the string type of thing.

Difficult with smallies, but is there anyway he can run around for a while after school before he gets into the car?

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My DS(8) dx SPD, ODD and ADD under review - more likely AS

Have him go to bed with his clothes on if he can tolerate it. Then it isn't an issue in the morning.

Morning routines are something you may need to play around with. It turned out that my son did best if we made the routine as fast and lean and possible - if he had the opportunity to move off-track, he had too much trouble moving back on. Definitely no TV for us, but every child is different.

Many families find that having picture charts helps.

As for the drive home, what if you hold off actually driving for a while, let him get in the car first, and then give him scream time?

Or maybe give him noise cancelling head phones, so he can immediately go into his own zone out mode without hearing those siblings ...

Or both

In our house, if DS6 finishes getting ready early, he can watch TV until it is time to go. He usually manages to watch 10-15 minutes. I have to note, though, that he is ok with the idea of pausing the TV in the middle of a show. If he were fixated on stopping at a logical break or the end of the show it would be a problem.

DS complains that he doesn't like "day clothes" because they are too scratchy -- not nice and soft like his fleece pajamas. He wears soft 100% cotton shirts and jeans, so I'm not sure what else I can do. He's ok on school days, but on weekends we often have battles about getting dressed.

Our routine is get up by 7:30 (his younger sisters sometimes wake him up earlier), go downstairs and eat a bowl of cereal, take the bowl to the sink, go upstairs and get dressed, come downstairs, brush teeth, put on socks and shoes, then TV.

Do you think it's mainly sensory due to the clothes, or is he also getting distracted and losing track of what he's supposed to be doing while he's getting dressed? For DS we had a big executive function issue with the process of getting dressed -- here's a link to my post about that...

How we taught DS to dress himself

Can't help with the routine, but when we were struggling with this last year, I think it was Bombaloo who suggested squares of bubble wrap as a reward/fidget for the car ride to school. We don't even need it now, but it helped sooo much! (On bad days, we ask "do you need some bubble wrap? The question in and of himself is often enough to calm him.)

Our morning routine has a bunch of rewards built in: alarm, snooze. alarm, cuddle time. alarm, get dressed during the next snooze - and if DS beats the alarm, 1/2 hour of TV (he started trying to beat the clock for one extra cuddle.) Breakfast. Brush teeth, brush hair, put on deodorant, put on shoes, coat, check backpack for homework, grab backpack and lunch...get bubble wrap as needed. Rewards really help!

FYI: If you have Netflix, there are a number of shows that are 15 minutes or less in duration: Pink Panther, Mr. Bean (animated), 30-second bunny theatre (I haven't watched much of this, so be careful.) etc.

For the ride home: can he wear headphones and listen to something? He's clearly had it with social interaction for the day, and while with an NT kid this would be a time to engage with your family, that's probably a lot to ask an AS kid. Can he sit mostly by himself, too? Being touched, or being worried about being touched is another likely trigger.

That being said, we have an only child and a 5-minute commute and still often have screaming on the way home. It's a lot to hold in for a whole day.

I have been doing this routine for my 4 year old for over a year to get her to preschool at 8 am three days a week, other days she has school later. I do help her get dressed some mornings though, we are still learning socks/shoes skills... thank goodness for Vans!! !!

I do use the TV, I have to, at this age even. I dont' care, it works for us..... either that or timers depending on the kind of mood she is in. The TV works as a timer so to speak(once this show is done, we get dressed). She gets up on her own and comes to me to get ready and to do her hair. I am thinking this will be our routine forever:) I hope so cause its a nice system and we all know what to expect....(I am on the spectrum as well with anxiety so I get how needed it is to have this routine)

I get my daughter up 1.5 hours earlier than we have to leave. Extra time is always helpful, I don't know if this will last as she gets older but crossing my fingers. I think in some ways her having that at home before she leaves for school eases her anxiety and that extra time, and the "comfort" of the tv/ipad. I used to get her up later and it was more difficult not giving us extra time(in the big picture being up that early is way better than sleeping more!! !) then again she is older now I don't know...... but I don't have struggles getting her ready in the morning at all. The most "drama" we have is some of the seams of her pants but those went to goodwill:) Thank god for leggings.

I used to give her a choice of clothes, nowadays she doesn't seem to care.

Call me crazy but I have to say that tryptophan has helped my daughter very well...(I have anxiety and I have taken it - its not placebo effect either)We do biomedical stuff and put her on tryptophan when the school year began... that stuff WORKS.... every kid is different on all those treatments tho....

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Thanks for the input everyone!

We are slowly coming up with a morning routine based on responses from this thread. I hope to have a good one by next week. I will tackle the coming home routine next.

Well why does he hate putting his clothes on? are they uncomfortable or is it difficult for him to dress himself?........If the clothes are uncomfortable have you thought of maybe trying to find him more comfortable clothes? sometimes sensory issues can make some clothes uncomfortable.

Otherwise if its just difficult I am not sure what to do other than help him get dressed. Not sure about the ride home though.

Took me forever to find this article again! I thought this was a great help in understanding the confusion a kid on the spectrum feels when their markers that order their day aren't discovered and respected: http://www.oneplaceforspecialneeds.com/ ... utism.html