Why do you feel bad about being single and alone?

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Why do you feel bad about being single and alone?
societal pressure 3%  3%  [ 4 ]
societal pressure 4%  4%  [ 5 ]
parental pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
parental pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
peer pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
peer pressure 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
biological (pressure from yourself) 19%  19%  [ 25 ]
biological (pressure from yourself) 38%  38%  [ 49 ]
combination of the above 11%  11%  [ 14 ]
combination of the above 22%  22%  [ 28 ]
Total votes : 129

WantToHaveALife
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04 Aug 2014, 5:42 pm

i'm worried, worry daily that i'm gonna miss out on the rest of my 20's just like I did my 20's



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2014, 2:22 am

It's not listed in the poll. I don't know why some (like you and tarantella) think it's always about pressure.



hurtloam
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05 Aug 2014, 5:31 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's not listed in the poll. I don't know why some (like you and tarantella) think it's always about pressure.


I think that some people have had a lot of pressure put on them to conform and they assume that other people have had that pressure applied to them too. I've certainly had comments from "well meaning" people who want to know why I haven't found anyone yet. It gets to me. It especially feels like pressure when I'm going through a period when I'm happy on my own and just getting on with things and not thinking about love of feeling lonely, then wham out of the blue someone has to put their nose in and apply a bit of pressure and point out that I'm not being normal and demands a reason for why I'm not being normal in their eyes. I want to shout, leave me alone! and then I wish I could find someone so that this conversation wouldn't keep happening. I long for the day when they stop asking because I've got someone to introduce them too and they can stop worrying about me.

I think that there is a problem too with some of us forcing relationships where there is no affection. I've done that in the past. I've been desperate to find someone and gone after someone who totally wasn't interested and whom I had nothing in common with because I felt like that was what I was meant to do, to be like everyone else and find a partner, mind you, it wasn't all social pressure, we all have a feeling inside us (well mostly all of us) that we want a companion and partner in life. Sometimes it's not actually our fault that there is no relationship that sparks, the other person just wasn't someone we were going to click with anyway.

When I feel down about being alone it is usually because of a mixture of things, internal and external.



WantToHaveALife
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05 Aug 2014, 5:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's not listed in the poll. I don't know why some (like you and tarantella) think it's always about pressure.


well we are only young once



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2014, 6:24 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's not listed in the poll. I don't know why some (like you and tarantella) think it's always about pressure.


I think that some people have had a lot of pressure put on them to conform and they assume that other people have had that pressure applied to them too. I've certainly had comments from "well meaning" people who want to know why I haven't found anyone yet. It gets to me. It especially feels like pressure when I'm going through a period when I'm happy on my own and just getting on with things and not thinking about love of feeling lonely, then wham out of the blue someone has to put their nose in and apply a bit of pressure and point out that I'm not being normal and demands a reason for why I'm not being normal in their eyes. I want to shout, leave me alone! and then I wish I could find someone so that this conversation wouldn't keep happening. I long for the day when they stop asking because I've got someone to introduce them too and they can stop worrying about me.

I think that there is a problem too with some of us forcing relationships where there is no affection. I've done that in the past. I've been desperate to find someone and gone after someone who totally wasn't interested and whom I had nothing in common with because I felt like that was what I was meant to do, to be like everyone else and find a partner, mind you, it wasn't all social pressure, we all have a feeling inside us (well mostly all of us) that we want a companion and partner in life. Sometimes it's not actually our fault that there is no relationship that sparks, the other person just wasn't someone we were going to click with anyway.

When I feel down about being alone it is usually because of a mixture of things, internal and external.


Like how it unexpectedly happened to me in that 3rd job interview - this bastard.



WantToHaveALife
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05 Aug 2014, 1:03 pm

I bet it was much easier to be a male single, be involuntary celibate back in the 1800's



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2014, 1:09 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
I bet it was much easier to be a male single, be involuntary celibate back in the 1800's


Yeah, I've been there, I am a Time Lord's friend after all.



Ectryon
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05 Aug 2014, 5:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
I bet it was much easier to be a male single, be involuntary celibate back in the 1800's


Yeah, I've been there, I am a Time Lord's friend after all.


I suppose you triggered the Napoleonic Wars while you were at it too. Doctor's getting sloppy allowing temporal crimes of that magnitude


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MXH
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05 Aug 2014, 11:19 pm

My reason is not listed in the poll



WantToHaveALife
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06 Aug 2014, 3:27 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
I bet it was much easier to be a male single, be involuntary celibate back in the 1800's


ya there was some sexual revolution back in the 20th century in which it started to become frowned upon or just all of a sudden there was sexual pressure on people to be sexually active



trippnorris
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06 Aug 2014, 11:53 pm

I am almost 40 and have more in common with someone half my age. It seems like everyone else is out enjoying life but me. I sit at home all the time and do nothing even on weekends. Nobody seems to want to have anything to do with me guy or girl much less a date of any kind. I have major depression and need someone to just talk to and be friends with if nothing else. I don't have that and when I do go somewhere its always by myself and I see people my age with families and I see couples together and it depressed me that I don't have that. I don't know what to do.


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