What is 'going out' supposed to mean?

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Transhuman
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21 Jan 2012, 5:55 am

Does it mean going out on a date, or simply having a relationship without dating? I heard that it can mean both. But when and where is the second definition more appropriate?
Is the definition the same, for, say, high school students and grown up adults?



Asp-Z
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21 Jan 2012, 6:01 am

Depends on the context, but usually, if you say "I'm going out with xyz" it means that xyz is your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you say "I'm going out with xyz tonight for dinner", it could just mean as friends.



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21 Jan 2012, 6:22 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Depends on the context, but usually, if you say "I'm going out with xyz" it means that xyz is your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you say "I'm going out with xyz tonight for dinner", it could just mean as friends.


Thanks for your input. I have another question: What is one supposed to do after asking someone out?



Asp-Z
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21 Jan 2012, 6:25 am

Transhuman wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Depends on the context, but usually, if you say "I'm going out with xyz" it means that xyz is your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you say "I'm going out with xyz tonight for dinner", it could just mean as friends.


Thanks for your input. I have another question: What is one supposed to do after asking someone out?


Be in a relationship, do relationshippy things. Go out on dates and stuff.



Transhuman
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21 Jan 2012, 6:43 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Transhuman wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Depends on the context, but usually, if you say "I'm going out with xyz" it means that xyz is your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you say "I'm going out with xyz tonight for dinner", it could just mean as friends.


Thanks for your input. I have another question: What is one supposed to do after asking someone out?


Be in a relationship, do relationshippy things. Go out on dates and stuff.


Isn't dating supposed to be before the relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend status)?



Asp-Z
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21 Jan 2012, 6:45 am

Transhuman wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Transhuman wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Depends on the context, but usually, if you say "I'm going out with xyz" it means that xyz is your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you say "I'm going out with xyz tonight for dinner", it could just mean as friends.


Thanks for your input. I have another question: What is one supposed to do after asking someone out?


Be in a relationship, do relationshippy things. Go out on dates and stuff.


Isn't dating supposed to be before the relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend status)?


Well it's before and after really. Yes, before you're an "official couple" you can go out on dates as a way to get to know each other and start a relationship, but you're generally expected to take your partner out once you're in the relationship too.



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21 Jan 2012, 9:17 am

I figured that the BR (Before Relationship) dates were the ones in more neutral settings.. coffee shops, book stores, restaurants.. and the AR (After relationship) dates could add something as simple as sitting on the sofa together, eating pizza and watching a movie. The reason being, when you are BR, you might see the person once a week, once you are AR you see them more frequently so you get to start to learn what the person is really like in their comfort zone rather than what they present themselves to be like in public...



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21 Jan 2012, 9:57 am

Going out in the form of dating is courtship.
Seeing as once ago The term "going on a date" or "dating" actually meant "to go to a brothell/seeing a hooker/Going to see a girl with the intentions of sex."

Thus Going out - in the terms of dating is now commonly accepted as what we used to call Courtship. Next on from Courtship would be Proposal and then Marriage.

Thus the coined term today Going out/Dating mean to "Court a partner/suitable mate"

I spent 6 months researching the terms out of pureboredom a couple of years back. I hope this makes sense i have tried to break it down as simply as i can.



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21 Jan 2012, 10:27 am

I think "going out" means a relationship, unless it's "going out with so-and-so tonight to X Y Z, ooh-lala" (before a relationship is established).
I also consider dating pre-relationship. It usually means going and doing something requiring money, ostensibly to get to know someone, in a public place, often for safety reasons. Why would two cash-strapped students such as bf and myself, together for six months waste money on overpriced food when we can make our own at home and watch The Middle in our pajamas? Not to say established couples don't do that, it just doesn't make logical sense to me.


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21 Jan 2012, 10:31 am

Those are good categories Rabbits! As you imply 'relationship' establishes something. It establishes the feelings the two people in it have for one another. The two people recognize the feelings they have for one another and begin to rely on each other on the basis of those feelings. The relying allows the feelings to reach the level of 'love', which most would agree you need the recipocracy of a relationship to achieve. It also accounts for why the word 'cheating' applies to relationships, and not to someone you're dating but not in an established relationship with.

As Rabbits suggests, when you're dating BR a lot of thought is put into how to impress or seduce the other so that you can be intimate with them and perhaps establish a relationship. But when you date AR, it's more just to enjoy being together and to show appreciation for one another, because you've already agreed to rely on each other which is intimate by default.



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21 Jan 2012, 1:48 pm

Hanging out is for friends and going out is for potential dates, that's the way I see it.


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21 Jan 2012, 2:07 pm

The way i see it is guy asks girl "do you want to go out for blank" means date consisting mainly of blank. going out usually means simply dating not bf/gf.



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22 Jan 2012, 1:10 pm

"Going out" seems to be a 90's term that no one really uses anymore, much like the term "going steady" was common in the 80's but not now. I have not heard anyone say "go out" in any context since high school (excluding situations when it's meant as "heading out").

Nowadays, I hear the term "seeing each other" or "seeing [person's name]" when referring to relatively new relationships or when dating someone regularly. Interestingly, when I was in college, "hanging out" was used for situations that weren't necessarily sexual but could very easily become such; basically, a precursor to hooking up. Post-college "hang out" was supplanted by "get together"; this term implied a weaker possibility of getting romantic or sexual, but still signaled such intentions, unless followed by "as friends" or a similar modifier.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jan 2012, 1:17 pm

Transhuman wrote:
Does it mean going out on a date, or simply having a relationship without dating? I heard that it can mean both. But when and where is the second definition more appropriate?
Is the definition the same, for, say, high school students and grown up adults?


It doesn't matter, at some point you'd have to go out with her in a way or another, whether it is a typical date or just going/hanging out.



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22 Jan 2012, 8:41 pm

Transhuman wrote:
Does it mean going out on a date, or simply having a relationship without dating? I heard that it can mean both. But when and where is the second definition more appropriate?
Is the definition the same, for, say, high school students and grown up adults?

In my experience:

"Do you want to go out with me?" = "Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"Shall we go out to lunch/have a coffee?" = exactly what it says, no romantic interest implied.
"X is going out with Y" = X and Y are boyfriend and girlfriend (going on dates is implied here, as most couples do).

Dating is something you do once you are in a relationship. If you're having lunch/coffee together to get to know each other outside a relationship, then it is platonic.



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24 Jan 2012, 2:30 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Transhuman wrote:
Does it mean going out on a date, or simply having a relationship without dating? I heard that it can mean both. But when and where is the second definition more appropriate?
Is the definition the same, for, say, high school students and grown up adults?

In my experience:

"Do you want to go out with me?" = "Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"Shall we go out to lunch/have a coffee?" = exactly what it says, no romantic interest implied.
"X is going out with Y" = X and Y are boyfriend and girlfriend (going on dates is implied here, as most couples do).

Dating is something you do once you are in a relationship. If you're having lunch/coffee together to get to know each other outside a relationship, then it is platonic.


Then what is a date? Do people just approach others and ask them if they want to go out with them (as in, be their boyfriend, girlfriend)?