What do you do if you feel like you are being left out?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm currently during a course in health studies.The group I sit with at lunch have quite big personalities and I'm a bit quite and most of the time they ignore me because I am quite they just make me feel nervous.The people in my course know I have AS but I just don't think they understand me.I just really want them to like me and get paranoid if I think they don't
What do you think?

Well, personally, I would probably be sitting there, staring at the wall or table the whole time. I'm not good at initiating anything.

But what you should do is listen to the conversation, and think of something to say at an appropriate time and hopefully you'll be accepted into the conversation. Or maybe bring in baked goods, like cupcakes. It's a good way to receive some attention and people will be more likely to initiate conversation with you. Not to mention, people will like you more simply for doing something kind. That's generally how I've made friends.

I agree with Frakkin for sure.

I happen to be an extroverted Aspie so this isn't as much of an issue for me. Typically I am worried about talking too much around new people.

I would just get one of my puzzle books to do while the people at the table are talking.

Pull out Vogue magazine and pretend to like it.

I never fit in as far as I know... even when I play the social games I am still never one of the needed members of most groups unless I perform a specific service to that group.

I often ask people questions about things that I am not really interested in and remember things that I can use to ask them other things... its kind of the boring part of being social but it helps me to feel more involved.

Other than that, I just accept my place as the person who isn't quite a proper fit and hope that people don't think too much of a "wtf is he here for" about me for it.

I think we've all been there for the most part. The cheapest "trick" in the book is just to ask people questions about them, about their lives, their interests. Just like us, they all love to talk about themselves and their interests. Then just sit back, smile, listen, and pretend you are interested. (That's pretty much what the most socially successful NTs all do, they are just way better at pretending to care about what others say!) People will actually enjoy your company far more if you seem interested in them than if you have a lot to say. (I know I sure love it when people at least pretend to care about the stuff I drone on about!)

If I felt I was being left out, I would probably pick up my things and go someplace where I feel comfortable---alone.

Well...that's probably not the best advice---sorry. It's just that I am a very private person and like my space anyway.

In my opinion, a lot of the posts here offer good advice.

I would feel like I was being ignored because they didn't like me - otherwise they would be making an effort to include me in the conversation.

I would leave. I don't need to be pitied by NTs......

I usually just sit there and look around. When I'm feeling really productive, I just pull out a book to read.

Thanks for all the advice I really apprciate it

Listening to a conversation and saying something relavent at an appropriate time doesn't seem to work for me. I've been told ''I wasn't talking to you!'' before, and several times after that I got the ''I wasn't talking to you'' looks from people, so now it's knocked my confidence back more and made me afraid of joining in any conversation at all. It's also left me with the confusion of seeing other people jumping into conversations - even interrupting someone in mid-sentence - and everyone acting like it's acceptable but if that was me doing that they would emotionally attack me. Double standards again.