my mom told me that i can't afford to move out

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Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 7:21 pm

My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time and that I should move up there with them, despite what I have in the town I am now. They were telling me that they rather have me live with them instead of moving out on my own because they think I can’t do it. That I can’t afford it. But I told her that I don’t care. I rather get shot then live with them. I don’t want to be a 40 year old living in my parents’ basement.

Do you know how embarrassing it to say that I live with my parents?


I get checks from the government every month and if I plan it right I can live on that and by then I’ll have a job to fill in the missing pieces.



unduki
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25 Jan 2012, 7:49 pm

Belushi87 wrote:
My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time and that I should move up there with them, despite what I have in the town I am now. They were telling me that they rather have me live with them instead of moving out on my own because they think I can’t do it. That I can’t afford it. But I told her that I don’t care. I rather get shot then live with them. I don’t want to be a 40 year old living in my parents’ basement.

Do you know how embarrassing it to say that I live with my parents?


I get checks from the government every month and if I plan it right I can live on that and by then I’ll have a job to fill in the missing pieces.


Well, either you can or you can't. You'll never find out unless you try. If you fail, you can probably still go and live with your parents. Ugh! I know.

Without ever meeting your mother, I'd say she's just worried like all moms worry. It's biological and there is no cure. Be nice and try to understand where she's coming from. She probably knows how much you want to live on your own but she also knows she has to deal with reality. It is what it is right now, not what you plan on it being.

You have to admit, she's been the one who raised you from birth. She probably knows better than anyone else what you can and can't deal with. That's not saying mothers are never wrong, but they do know things - mostly things we'd like them to forget.

Three years ago, I would have told you my youngest son was bordering on idiocy. I didn't want to think about the direction he was heading and the extremely crummy choices he was making for his life. Then he joined the Army and today he is a man to be reckoned with. He blossomed. People do that. Some do it later in life than others and some need help - maybe you have to get fed up enough with the way things are to motivate yourself to make the necessary changes - or join a club/church/job/cause that will do the motivating for you.

I wish you success.


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unduki
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25 Jan 2012, 7:54 pm

[quote="Belushi87"]My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time ]

At 24, you shouldn't be calling your parent's summer home "ours" unless your name is on the deed.

Just saying.


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Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 8:05 pm

unduki wrote:
Belushi87 wrote:
My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time ]

At 24, you shouldn't be calling your parent's summer home "ours" unless your name is on the deed.

Just saying.


actually, i can call it anything i want, since it belongs to the family, i can call it mine if i want too.


as for the other post. i know myself better then my own mom, she doesnt know whats going on with me, and if i want to rebel against her about moving out then i will fight to get the freedom that i deserve.



Angel_ryan
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25 Jan 2012, 8:15 pm

unduki wrote:
Belushi87 wrote:
My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time]
At 24, you shouldn't be calling your parent's summer home "ours" unless your name is on the deed.Just saying.


I don't think that's very encouraging and by ours I don't think Belushi87 meant it in the tone you think they did. I don't know what your life circumstances are Belushi87's but I wish you the best of luck in living on your own if you pursue it despite what she thinks. Independence like that can be difficult but also rewarding. I'm 23 and I live at home because I have a disability besides AS that has interfered with me being independent at the moment. I'd love to move out though. I also think you should consider asking a mod for this to be moved to the haven, I think you'll get a better response there. If you don't want to go that route I'd also try members only discussion.


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purchase
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25 Jan 2012, 8:46 pm

I agree with angelryan. You can do what you aspire to do.



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25 Jan 2012, 8:49 pm

Belushi87 wrote:
My mom has been telling me that when they retire their going to move to our summer property full time and that I should move up there with them, despite what I have in the town I am now. They were telling me that they rather have me live with them instead of moving out on my own because they think I can’t do it. That I can’t afford it. But I told her that I don’t care. I rather get shot then live with them. I don’t want to be a 40 year old living in my parents’ basement. Do you know how embarrassing it to say that I live with my parents? I get checks from the government every month and if I plan it right I can live on that and by then I’ll have a job to fill in the missing pieces.

Are you under their care? Do they have your legal power of attorney? Have you been legally declared "Non Compos Mentis" ("Not Competent Mentally")?

If you answered "No" to all of these, then what are you waiting for?



Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 9:37 pm

i think i can't make it on my own, they think that if i have them around then it would be easier for me, but being a 24 year old single female living with your parents isnt what i call a life.



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25 Jan 2012, 9:45 pm

Belushi87 wrote:
i think i can't make it on my own, they think that if i have them around then it would be easier for me, but being a 24 year old single female living with your parents isnt what i call a life.


If money is the issue perhaps you could work from home somehow (less social pressure)?

Maybe you could do book keeping for people? Fix computers?

What are your skills?


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25 Jan 2012, 10:00 pm

Why don't you try living on your own and proving them wrong? That's what I did. Independence is very rewarding. :)


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Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 10:08 pm

i house-sat for some family friends during the summer. and it went fine, but because it wasnt my house, i didnt have the option to stay.



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25 Jan 2012, 10:13 pm

My mum told me the same thing when I was your age, but I've proved her wrong. :)


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Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 10:19 pm

its different now, there arent many jobs out there for me with the skills that i have, nowadays, you have to go to school to get a degree for a simple job.

all the jobs that ive worked at, always seem to cut my hours down and i always end up quitting because i would go weeks without getting any hours.

i cant even work in a office doing simple things like filing without a degree of some sort.



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25 Jan 2012, 10:24 pm

Do you have a lot of money saved up from your pension?


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Belushi87
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25 Jan 2012, 10:30 pm

i dont have a pension.



CockneyRebel
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25 Jan 2012, 11:05 pm

Have you been saving money from your cheques?


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