Female aspies, what are your difficulties in relationships?

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Out of curiosity, lets see where we all can relate.

Age:
Sexual orientation/preferences:
Longest relationship:
What you look for in a mate:
What your mates like about you:
Are you comfortable 'dating'?:
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate:
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you:

ok... this looks like fun

Age: Early 50's
Sexual orientation/preferences: straight
Longest relationship: 14 years
What you look for in a mate: Kindness, intelligence, respect for self and others
What your mates like about you: I have been told that I have a great personality and can be very sexy. (I asked)
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: No
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Fear of rejection, abandonment. Inability to flirt unless it is reciprocated.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: None. If I know they like me, I do my best to make them feel comfortable and to have fun. If I'm not interested, I am very clear and honest without being condescending or hurtful.

...

Age: 22
Sexual orientation/preferences: Bisexual.
Longest relationship: ~ 1 year.
What you look for in a mate: Intelligence, sex drive, openness. Similar interests, too, and a good command of whichever language we communicate in. Willingness and ability to communicate.
What your mates like about you: My brain, my breasts, my ability to cook :p
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: Ah, eh, no. I hate the dating aspect. Too much nervousness.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Finding someone who is not ashamed of or hiding his intelligence and perhaps dorky interests (I enjoy video gaming, literature, quite a lot of cult films and TV series, to a degree sci-fi and fantasy as well; and I'm working on achieving a higher understanding of mathematics – I only seem to find men who care only for shallow things) and who likes sex and wants to have it a lot; someone who appreciates me for who I am; someone who accepts my ambitions and perhaps has a drive of their own.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: Understanding that I need time of my own to sort out my own feelings and process what is going on. Understanding overall that I might not always be up for everything, that I sometimes become engrossed with something and am lost to the world. Just overall achieving an understanding of who I am and what my current conditions are.

Deleted

Age: 23
Sexual orientation/preferences: Heteroromantic Asexual
Longest relationship: 3 years
What you look for in a mate: Atheism, feminism, veganism, liberalism
What your mates like about you: Usually that I'm intelligent.
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: I don't know what that means, with the quotes. I don't like dating, as in countless casual, money-sucking 'going out' meetups. If someone doesn't like me enough to be in a relationship, then that's that.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: I'm asexual. And the things I look for in a future husband and father of my children are rare.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: Will let you know when that happens!

Age: 28
Sexual orientation/preferences: Bisexual
Longest relationship: 10 years
What you look for in a mate: Someone I click with. I don't really have a checklist. I go by whether they appear to be compatible or not.
What your mates like about you: I've been told I'm unique.
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: Like... going out on dates? Not unless I'm already in a relationship with the person. Dates, to me, are for re-connecting with my partner. Not for getting to know a potential one. There are far better ways to do that.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Oh boy, this list could go on forever. haha I don't often initiate conversation unless it's become routine to speak with the person. Even when I do, I find I do it all wrong. I am vague, irritating, and appear very confused (most likely because I usually am...)
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: Pretty standard stuff, really. I don't get it, and often don't respond correctly. More than that, if I'm feeling the same way I'm shite at reciprocation. It's hard for me to start/continue conversations. I usually just end up answering their questions and letting them decide where the conversation goes.

Age: 22
Sexual orientation/preferences: straight
Longest relationship: erm, real relationship about 2.5 years. abusive sham - 5 years.
What you look for in a mate: smart, same sense of humour (mine is pretty twisted), very confident & able to understand my odd quirks.
What your mates like about you: fieriness, petiteness, willingness to debate & absolute devotion to my other half.
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: never really done the traditional dating thing, so it makes me uncomfortable to be taken out to dinner or things like that - prefer to stay in. (never really dated as moved in with bf within a month)
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: i'm neurotic and panic that they don't love me at the slightest disagreement, lash out if they're unaware of things like sensory issues.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you:none, really. i just kind of went with the flow...which is unusual but i was at a vulnerable difficult time of life.

Age: 44
Sexual orientation/preferences: borderline aromantic, heterosexual with high sex drive

Longest relationship: 6 years

What you look for in a mate: integrity, quiet confidence, someone I click with and can feel comfortable with most of the time

What your mates like about you: haven't had one in a while. I'm going to say, based on history: my independence, my brain, my passion in my opinions, my cooking, my breasts.

Are you comfortable 'dating'?: No. Never have been. So very, very contrived and seems fake to me. Which it is, but it's still something other people seem to look at as an adventure or a necessary step.

Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: My difficulty is in finding people to "like", to begin with. Very, very rarely does someone really float my boat.

Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: I need to perceive *sexual* interest from them. I'm a bit dense in this. Also, I'm hyperstringent when it comes to the integrity thing. If I suspect any kind of moral weakness, as I define it, it's over.

Age: 54
Orientation: other women (but feel myself as male inside, so maybe I am really heterosexual. Have had more than a few heterosexual women fall for me.

Longest relationship: 14 years. was romantic and very sexual first 2.5. now like she is my sister/mother/caretaker, and no sex.
What I look for: I have wandered through life and fell into things
What mates like about me: unknown
Dating: very strange concept. not even sure if what i have done was ever "dating". Big ?
Difficulties I have when interested: I get obsessed. She becomes my "special interest". Fear of rejection.
Difficulities when pursued. No trouble sometimes telling person I'm not interested. But did let myself get sucked into a couple of relationships with people who I really was not attracted to. This was result of then unhealed sex abuse in adolescence and not an AS thing. My AS true nature finds it easy to tell people what I feel.

Age: 51
Sexual orientation/preferences: straight
Longest relationship: 26 years
What you look for in a mate: kindness , humor , patience, his own interests/hobbies
What your mates like about you: I have no idea - pretty funny after 26 years I should probably have asked by now
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: I never was when I did years ago, doubt it would be any better now if I did.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: I have always felt I was kind of boring and could not hold up my end of the conversation when dating. I tended not to really speak of my interests a lot because most guys did not like smart girls or girls who were into science or math. Except for with my husband, I never really felt certain what I was supposed to be doing. The thought of having to date again sends chills up my spine.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: I really had issues with the type of guy who always wanted to be with you every second, tell you who and how you can associate with or did not understand when you needed space or time to yourself. That would always end up badly.

Age: 39

Sexual orientation/preferences: mostly straight, slightly bisexual

Longest relationship: 20 years

What you look for in a mate: someone who i can really talk to, with a keen mind, who "gets" me, who can appreciate my quirks, who makes me laugh, who finds me attractive, probably other things i forgot

What your mates like about you: i dunno, you'd have to ask him

Are you comfortable 'dating'?: i have rarely gone on a true date. i avoid them when possible as i find them ridiculously awkward

Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: they often don't like me back

Your difficulties when you pursue a potential mate (changed the wording as i am usually the aggressor, though it was mutual with the boyfriend i have now): rejection is a biggie. also i don't have a realistic idea of who a relationship would work with.

Age: 19
Sexual orientation/preferences: Hetrosexual, although I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to make jokes about attractive women.
Longest relationship: 3 years
What you look for in a mate: Kind, compassionate, Intelligent, 'geeky', Shy, similar interests. Looks wise longer hair's always a good thing, as well as a bit of facial hair.
What your mates like about you: I'm a mine of useless information, committed, gamer, Passionate, generous and high sex drive
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: I'm still weary about public affection, but in every other aspect I love it.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Usually the guys I'm attracted too see me as one of the boys, and friendzone me accordingly. I'm always being told I'm a great catch, but just not for them. I've not perfected the art of letting a guy know I'm interested without being totally straight with him or appearing easy.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: Usually the only guys who chase me are either in their 40's/50's or have serious mental issues (like obsessive tendancies). Also a guy has to be very trusted for me to let him within personal space, although that's more down to past experience rather than aspergers.

Age: Early 30’s
Sexual orientation/preferences: Men
Longest relationship: 11 years
What you look for in a mate: Has to make me laugh
What your mates like about you: Personality
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: I like to think so.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: The beginning (He likes me, he likes me not) being to aggressive.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: Playing it cool and not being too mean

Age: 26
Sexual orientation/preferences: Straight
Longest relationship: I don't know. Official relationship? Or "off the record" relationship? The later.. a couple of years.
What you look for in a mate: Confident, kind, caring, respectful, funny, spiritual, dominant, intelligent and extremely tolerant.
What your mates like about you: No Idea. I don't know if I have any mates.
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: Meh, I find it a bit boring to be honest.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Bringing down the shield. Living upto their expectations. Not knowing how to behave socially around them.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: How to deal with them when I'm not into them or not sure how much I like them. Worrying about whether it's worth it.

Age: 28
Sexual orientation/preferences: Straight...I think
Longest relationship: 2.5 years
What you look for in a mate: Intelligence, uniqueness, wisdom, stability, good principles, at least ok-ish in the looks department.
What your mates like about you: .......I dunno I'll have to ask them :/
Are you comfortable 'dating'?: Not into the casual fling type stuff (most of the time) but I'm ok with meeting people for lunch/dinner/movie dates.
Your difficulties when you like a potential mate: Getting them interested in me back I guess. If there's beyond a hope of that ever happening I try to forget about them as a potential. Experiencing months and months worth of unrequited feelings is silly. It's energy best spent on finding someone who actually likes me back.
Your difficulties when the potential mate likes/pursues you: I hesitate too much (assuming the attraction is mutual), and they're sometimes gone before I get the courage to reciprocate.