Outgoing Aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

So how many other Aspies here are extroverts? I've just noticed the tendency of my Aspie friends to be generally introverted, shy, or something similar. I am very outgoing and extroverted. I was shy up until 10th or 11th grade, but when I came out of my shell I became very outgoing and loud and boisterous, etc. I have pretty decent self-confidence compared to my Aspie peers, and I have also tended towards being more of a trouble-maker as well (although I'm trying to set myself straight, because I need to grow up so I can move back near my son and be a good mom). I definitely have the executive functioning issues typical of most Aspies, and I am at least a *little* socially awkward, but I don't dwell on it too much. People either like me or they don't, and *I* like me, that's what's important to me. Is anyone else here like this??

I have a friend who is VERY Asperger's but she's super outgoing. She's 16 now but already she's a gay rights activist. She's really cool and dyes her hair bright like me her hair's dark purple now last time I saw her.

If I'm around people I know well, I'm really loud and chatty. Not so much when you get me in a crowd of new people. In fact, not even so much when you get me in front of one new person!

You can't be an aspie and extroverted. - Outgoing as in "loves to socialize" sure, but not extroverted.

Just because one has AS doesn't necessarily mean they're going to be shy all their life.

I worked with a 50-year-old Aspie, and she was a lot more chatty than me. But funnily enough, I seemed better at fitting in than she did.....

??

My daughter's very outgoing and comes across as an extreme extrovert. However, she's actually an introvert and re-energises by spending time on her own. I was really confused about this a few weeks ago when I bought the book 'When the labels don't fit'. I was completing a questionnaire in it and found myself unable to work out whether she was introverted or extroverted. She fits the desciption of an extrovert, but the questions give the result of introvert. After much thought, I'm sure introvert is right, but she has still got a huge personality, chats to anyone and everyone. It's weird and she's a bit of an enigma.

But, I was the same as her at that age (6). I became extremely shy when I was 7yrs and was like that until about 6 years ago. These days, I like to speak to people and appear confident and outgoing, but I'm an introvert at heart. An hour with other people is usually enough and I need alone time after that.

I'm very extroverted! I like to be all alone sometimes, but everyone needs some alone time I guess. When I don't want to be by myself, I'm out and being extremely social!! !!

Just to note, there are topics on this all the time. You should look back a bit.

Aspies are by definition extreme introverts.

This based upon the basic idea that extroverts gain this undefined "mental energy" by socializing, moving quickly from one conversation to the other and generally being in the social action. Extroverts can enjoy a good book, but generally feels drained after too much alone time and feels the need to socialize! In the same way, introverts can love to socialize, but after some time (depending on individual limits) will feel drained and require time to charge up.

So on the "introvert-extrovert"-spectrum, what you get if you move off the chart to the left is us.

I recommend the book "The introvert advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney on the topic (introvert vs extrovert that is)

I'm very extroverted when I'm with my friends or coworkers. I'm more introverted when I'm with my family and relatives.

Not quite true. By "inference" perhaps, but not by definition.

DSM-IV criteria do not require one to be introverted. The criteria do however, indicate many traits that one would rightly assume are likely to cause introversion. When you don't function well socially it's pretty reasonable to presume they may develop lowered self-esteem and/or the tendency to avoid social situations and become introverted. Such is not always, and frequently is not true however.

Not being socially adept doesn't necessarily mean one automatically avoids socializing.

This is true. Although I'm the exact opposite except when on medication. I am a synthetic extrovert.

On Zyprexa I was verbalising a lot, and internalising less. One of the reasons I didn't like it.

That's what gets me. Out of the shell. I go through periods where, if I believe people like me or whatever, I get very "extroverty" then once the inevitable happens, I make myself look extremely weird and find out people don't actually like me like they say they do, I become "introverted" again. I do need alone time, which I guess is a sign of introversion, but despite that, I can be very outgoing. That, and even the most "extroverted" people I know need alone time, I don't know if introvert/extrovert is too terribly useful of a label really. But anyway, as a kid, I've always been stupidly outgoing with strangers, I was somewhat shy in class with other kids, but at a store or whatever, I'd talk to EVERYONE, and my mom would always tell me "don't talk to strangers" but I never saw any problems with it.

But yeah, I'm probably very outgoing, not that I know any better. I'm more outgoing than probably anyone in my family, with the exception being my father, but I think it's more that the rest of my family is women and there's different cultural roles. I'm quite at being outgoing just in random public places with random people, as I'll never see them again most likely, so the pressure is off. My problem in social functioning is maintaining friendships and being in a small group of people and the group dynamic that comes with that. But yeah, if you were to meet me in public, unless it was a bad day, I'd probably strike most people as being an extrovert, but then once people see me more than that, that's when my social problems become glaringly obvious.

But regarding the shell thing, I HATE those words. Because for me, shell or not, I'm just weird as hell, so even if I get "out of my shell" it never does me any good in the long run. I go through periods where I'm "out of the shell" but it never does me any good, it's just insanity in that I do the same thing twice and expect a different result. The result is always the same, people think I'm weird and don't like me.

If you read the OP post, she talks about outgoing versus extrovert. I am exceedingly outgoing and not even remotely shy. BUT, I cannot handle being in or with people for long periods of time due to how tired it makes me. I draw my strength from being alone and doing my obsessions. That doesn't mean that I cannot like or even love being with people too....

Thats exactly what I wrote. That makes you an outgoing introvert.