Saying the wrong thing and being snapped at

Page 1 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

30 Jan 2012, 6:06 pm

Earlier this evening, I was at my campus bookstore. I was looking at something electronic and noticed a woman standing near one of the register desks where the electronics are sold. At first I thought maybe she was a store clerk who was expert in things like selling laptops or computers. So, I proceeded to look at a nook and mind my own business. It was then that she approached me by asking, "This probably is a silly question but I was wondering if you had any benedryl?" I thought she had somehow gotten the idea that I may have been one of the store clerks. I responded by saying," I don't work here so I couldn't tell you." She replied with an escalating "Well I am having an allergic reaction right now and so I needed to have some benedryl." She then stormed off as if I had put her on offense for saying the wrong thing. I politely responded by saying, "I didn't mean to be rude ma'am." She ignored what I said then went to ask other people.

Did I say the wrong answer to her? If I did, that was my bad.



RobotGreenAlien2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 291

30 Jan 2012, 6:21 pm

Don't beat youself up. I think you handled it perfectly.



Bun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,356

30 Jan 2012, 6:24 pm

I think it happens, I can't imagine life without making those kind of mistakes. Though I do initially panic at stuff like that too.


_________________
Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

30 Jan 2012, 8:09 pm

Bun, same here and so I can't judge the girl too badly. However, in my mind, I felt like she was being manipulative by trying to make me feel bad for her as if she were the center of attention. After she walked away, this girl went off and asked some other people in line and they told her "No," which caused her to leave the store.

I took the initiative to tell a few clerks in the store about her just in case she may have been a panhandler or something. To me, anyone in their right mind would have explained to me in a more calm manner. When she acted like that, it blind sided me.

They explained to me that they were out of benedryl and were looking for some in the first aid kit. I told them to keep an eye out on her behavior and what she looked like.



Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 30 Jan 2012, 11:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,356

30 Jan 2012, 8:13 pm

I think 'manipulative' is probably the right word as well, there is a certain type of people who take advantage of someone else's reaction for their own histrionics. You were right in telling someone else about it.


_________________
Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

30 Jan 2012, 11:01 pm

Thank you very much you have been very helpful. I was so shocked at what she said and how she said it that I wanted to talk to some of the other people in line. Although., I quietly walked up and said, "Was she ever rude."



Bun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,356

30 Jan 2012, 11:03 pm

No problem. :heart:


_________________
Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his


NicoleG
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 667
Location: Texas

31 Jan 2012, 12:22 am

Never forget that there are still some bat-loco-crazy people in this world. Their responses don't make sense to ANYONE.

I would say she was either really having a bad reaction and getting frantic, or being a drama queen (which is the same as saying she's being manipulative of your emotions).



gemstone123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Aug 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,196
Location: UK

31 Jan 2012, 9:27 am

She sounds like she just wanted attention. You get people like that sometimes I wouldn't worry about it. It seems to me that you were polite.


_________________
Am usually bored so PMs are welcome!

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

31 Jan 2012, 2:03 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Earlier this evening, I was at my campus bookstore. I was looking at something electronic and noticed a woman standing near one of the register desks where the electronics are sold. At first I thought maybe she was a store clerk who was expert in things like selling laptops or computers. So, I proceeded to look at a nook and mind my own business. It was then that she approached me by asking, "This probably is a silly question but I was wondering if you had any benedryl?" I thought she had somehow gotten the idea that I may have been one of the store clerks. I responded by saying," I don't work here so I couldn't tell you." She replied with an escalating "Well I am having an allergic reaction right now and so I needed to have some benedryl." She then stormed off as if I had put her on offense for saying the wrong thing. I politely responded by saying, "I didn't mean to be rude ma'am." She ignored what I said then went to ask other people.

Did I say the wrong answer to her? If I did, that was my bad.



Neah, you didn't say anything wrong. It's most likely she was very frustrated and she wasn't snapping at you.



Dent
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 161

31 Jan 2012, 3:56 pm

Benedryl is for allergies and if she was having an allergic reaction it could have been serious. I doubt benedryl is the right pill for whatever was happening to her, but it sounds like urgency more than any desire to be rude to you.



RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,145

31 Jan 2012, 7:18 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Earlier this evening, I was at my campus bookstore. I was looking at something electronic and noticed a woman standing near one of the register desks where the electronics are sold. At first I thought maybe she was a store clerk who was expert in things like selling laptops or computers. So, I proceeded to look at a nook and mind my own business. It was then that she approached me by asking, "This probably is a silly question but I was wondering if you had any benedryl?" I thought she had somehow gotten the idea that I may have been one of the store clerks. I responded by saying," I don't work here so I couldn't tell you." She replied with an escalating "Well I am having an allergic reaction right now and so I needed to have some benedryl." She then stormed off as if I had put her on offense for saying the wrong thing. I politely responded by saying, "I didn't mean to be rude ma'am." She ignored what I said then went to ask other people.

Did I say the wrong answer to her? If I did, that was my bad.



Why are Aspies so DAMNED worried what a complete stranger thinks of them?! !! Who cares if she even dropped dead from her allergic reaction! What ever happened to just simply saying, "Sorry, but I don't work here. Go ask the store clerk for it. " Sheeesh......My husband is the same way!! It annoys the heck out of me! He worries about whether he offended someone that he'll NEVER see again! Yet, when he's pissed at me - his wife of 20 years - he throws up things in my face that were resolved a long time ago AND brings up all my weaknesses to hurt me with - after I told them to him in trust! I feel like punching his head in sometimes...or just kicking the s**t out of him when he does that.



beers
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 128

31 Jan 2012, 8:37 pm

I'd think if it was a serious or health-threatening situation, she would not have time or incentive to be overly dramatic.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 131 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 62 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


gailryder17
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,038
Location: Los Angeles

31 Jan 2012, 8:48 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:

Why are Aspies so DAMNED worried what a complete stranger thinks of them?! !! Who cares if she even dropped dead from her allergic reaction! What ever happened to just simply saying, "Sorry, but I don't work here. Go ask the store clerk for it. " Sheeesh......My husband is the same way!! It annoys the heck out of me! He worries about whether he offended someone that he'll NEVER see again! Yet, when he's pissed at me - his wife of 20 years - he throws up things in my face that were resolved a long time ago AND brings up all my weaknesses to hurt me with - after I told them to him in trust! I feel like punching his head in sometimes...or just kicking the sh** out of him when he does that.


Similar reason most NTs care what people think, to answer your question. Also, Aspies are trying to master social niceties and they use the reactions of others to figure out if they did something right. If it's someone you know well, you tend to be more complacent with it. Also, if there's someone you're angry with, then (for the most part) anger naturally causes you to do something you wouldn't normally do in a better state of mind.


_________________
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice


Bun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,356

31 Jan 2012, 9:03 pm

Exactly.


_________________
Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

03 Feb 2012, 5:51 pm

beers wrote:
I'd think if it was a serious or health-threatening situation, she would not have time or incentive to be overly dramatic.


Beers, that is exactly what I thought when she acted like that. I mean, I looked at her and heard her voice and she didn't sound like she had anything wrong. This maybe even more far fetched but could it also be possible that she may have had hypothyroidism. (Where people think they are sick when they really aren't.) Otherwise, I will stick to my other theory.