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Brictoria
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03 Jun 2021, 10:02 pm

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Erewhon
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05 Jun 2021, 5:00 am

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Erewhon
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06 Jun 2021, 7:28 am

298 empty chairs in front of the Russian Ambassey.
298 victems of MH17.

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Mikah
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07 Jun 2021, 9:35 pm

Democrat Pilot And Republican Co-Pilot Argue Over How Fast They Should Fly Plane Into Ground

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-pi ... ed-instead

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U.S.—According to alerts from the FAA, the flight crew of a Boeing 747 flying somewhere over the United States is locked in a dispute over how fast they should crash their plane into the ground.

Witnesses say the pilot, a Democrat, wants to fly the plane into the ground at 700 MPH.

The Republican co-pilot, however, has proposed crashing at a much more reasonable speed of 600 MPH.

"We need to be responsible here!" said First Officer Dan McTan, who prides himself in his Conservative values. "700 MPH is reckless and irresponsible! Crashing at 600 MPH will allow the crew and passengers a full 1.3 seconds of additional life before they are incinerated in a massive fireball! Let's be reasonable!"

Pilot In Command Xanderillo Cruggsteen disagrees. "700 MPH is the way to go and you're a racist!! !!" he responded with a loud and terrible shriek.

In the end, the crew members elected to dive into the earth below at 695 MPH. Thankfully, the Democrat pilot and Republican Co-Pilot each had very expensive parachutes and were able to bail out safely before everyone else went down.


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Erewhon
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07 Jun 2021, 11:11 pm

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Erewhon
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07 Jun 2021, 11:13 pm

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Erewhon
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07 Jun 2021, 11:17 pm

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Erewhon
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08 Jun 2021, 12:13 am

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Erewhon
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08 Jun 2021, 12:20 am

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Brictoria
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08 Jun 2021, 2:25 am

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Mikah
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08 Jun 2021, 7:25 am

https://babylonbee.com/news/conquered-a ... -inclusive

'At Least Our Military Was Inclusive,' Says Conquered American Working In Chinese Prison Camp In Year 2025

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SAN DIEGO, CHINA—Conquered Americans laboring away among other undesirables in a Chinese prison camp remember fondly how the American military, when it was still around, was a fully inclusive institution.

The camp known as Happy Democratic People’s Sunshine and Happy Exercise Wellness Center, set up at the former grounds of Navy Base San Diego, is billed as a top notch resort to get plenty of sunshine and exercise as well as a top notch education in Communist Party fundamentals. Many prisoners have noticed however that the Chinese officers staffing the gulag were not very diverse or concerned with things like what pronouns the prisoners preferred to be called.

“At least our military was inclusive,” said Prisoner #1138 in a hushed whisper while breaking rocks with a pickaxe and loading them into wheelbarrows. ”We had daily meetings about being less white, started every intelligence briefing by asking everyone to state their preferred pronouns for that day, and even meticulously tailored every uniform for each individual to make sure no one was body shamed just because they were a person of size or had a fetus inside them.”

“I really miss the transgender working groups,” reminisced one former officer from the U.S. Air Force. “Yep, those were the days.”

“I don’t identify as this number,” piped up another worker. “I keep telling them I identify as xe/xer but all they do is hit me and call me #1277 or ‘pansy.’”

“Work faster, pansy! All of you, keep your pansy mouths shut,” barked the Chinese soldiers up in the watchtowers as they trained their machine guns on the prisoners. Other Chinese soldiers began to laugh at the prisoners while taking breaks from lifting weights, cleaning their firearms, and talking about the women and children they missed back home.

At publishing time, the conquered Americans in the prison camp were reportedly very happy to at last be living in a nation with universal health care.


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Erewhon
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09 Jun 2021, 12:14 am

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09 Jun 2021, 12:59 am

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Cornflake
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09 Jun 2021, 8:18 am

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Erewhon
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10 Jun 2021, 10:39 am

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Brictoria
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10 Jun 2021, 11:26 am

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