Has a bully ever told you they were teaching you a lesson?

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League_Girl
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05 Feb 2012, 3:27 am

I can remember one of my friends saying this to me in 5th grade when I asked her why she was being so mean to me. She said she was teaching me a lesson. Has a bully ever told you this when you confront them? I wonder if it's an excuse they use to bully you?



MagicMeerkat
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05 Feb 2012, 6:45 am

Well I was always told that the bullying I received was my own fault.


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MusicIsLife2Me
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05 Feb 2012, 6:52 am

Oh yes. I was physically and verbally bullied and was told it was my fault, just like MagicMeerkat was told. And my bullies also told me it was to teach me to not be so "nerdy".

I do not miss school at all lol.


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hanyo
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05 Feb 2012, 7:01 am

The only thing bullying ever taught me was to stay far away from people. They are mean.



MagicMeerkat
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05 Feb 2012, 8:23 am

hanyo wrote:
The only thing bullying ever taught me was to stay far away from people. They are mean.


^THIS^


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melmaclorelai
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05 Feb 2012, 8:33 am

I don't recall a bully ever saying this to me, but I find that adults have often told me that what I interpreted as "bullying", is really just "normal childhood teasing", which is good for building character and an integral part of childhood.

Yeah, okay. And I'm a three-headed, purple alien from Jupiter.


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demeus
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05 Feb 2012, 9:14 am

All of the time and not by the bully either but but by the people that were suppose to protect me (police and teachers).



Sora
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05 Feb 2012, 9:31 am

Yeah, even a middle-aged woman who was a bully (and who was suddenly announced to be the new boss at one of my former workplaces) said she was going to "teach me how to talk/speak".

Doing wrong and trying to blame it on the one who is wronged is pathetic. I don't comprehend why assuming responsibility for one's actions is a problem for some people/for bullies.


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CTBill
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05 Feb 2012, 9:52 am

Not "teaching me a lesson" specifically, but I did have one tell me he was punching me to "toughen me up," which I thought was odd because when my mom pounded meat in the kitchen, she called it tenderizing. :? I did have sense enough (that time anyway) to keep my thoughts to myself, however. :lol:



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05 Feb 2012, 10:04 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
hanyo wrote:
The only thing bullying ever taught me was to stay far away from people. They are mean.


^THIS^


Seconded.



CrazyCatLord
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05 Feb 2012, 10:10 am

Bullies use a lot of gaslighting and victim blaming techniques. You made me do that, it's your own fault, you had it coming, you were asking for it, I couldn't let that slip, I had to teach you a lesson, it was all in good fun, why can't you take a joke, you're making it out to be worse than it was, etc. Don't let them distort your reality. They are the abusers, you are the victim. There is no excuse for bullying.



Aspiewordsmith
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05 Feb 2012, 10:15 am

All this victim blaming is totally wrong and there is no need for it. If anyone thinks that being picked on is a rite of passage then they are just a total waste of oxygen. It is bigotry pure and simple. If a child was molested by a nonce would people say to the child they brought it on his or herself? No especially if he/she was neurotypical. Yes I was bullies at school and at home constantly for about 8 years without interruption and can make one hate neurotypicals.:idea:



icyfire4w5
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05 Feb 2012, 10:20 am

CrazyCatLord wrote:
Bullies use a lot of gaslighting and victim blaming techniques. You made me do that, it's your own fault, you had it coming, you were asking for it, I couldn't let that slip, I had to teach you a lesson, it was all in good fun, why can't you take a joke, you're making it out to be worse than it was, etc. Don't let them distort your reality. They are the abusers, you are the victim. There is no excuse for bullying.


To CrazyCatLord: When I read this, I nodded and thought to myself, "I wished that someone could have told me this earlier. If I had come across this earlier, maybe I won't be so depressed now."



dianthus
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05 Feb 2012, 10:55 am

Yes they have told me they were going to "teach" me not to do whatever it is I was doing that they didn't like.



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05 Feb 2012, 11:35 am

I've told someone I was giving them a reality check because they needed one. I wasn't bullying them, I was doing exactly what I said I was doing; giving a dose of reality. The only people that need that are the bully types. I've found that if you say it right to their face, it will catchy them off guard and they won't know what to do because their illusion of control is shattered. Plus, people don't know how to handle me anyway.



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05 Feb 2012, 12:16 pm

The only people i recall telling me this are my parents.