Valentine's Day... NOT AGAIN.

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OliveOilMom
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16 Feb 2012, 6:31 pm

^^ It's not hard to understand. You were given the right advice, you just don't believe it will work. You see a girl that you are interested in, you find an opportunity to talk to her. The first conversation has to be approached like you are just wanting to be friends. Unless it's the club scene, it can be wierd for a stranger to come up to you and hit on you like you might be a potential romantic partner. You make friendly conversation. Ask a few things, answer a few things, try and see if you seem to hit it off. Then you ask her out for coffee or ask if you could call her sometimes. If she says no, then you try someone else. irst date should be something that's short and not a big deal. After that you call her and ask for a movie or dinner date. You go from there.

I know lots of kids your age (your thing says 25) who aren't in relationships. It's not a big deal. About half my kids friends are in relationships, about half aren't. Most of them are between 16 - 27 years old.

But you really have to do something about the anger and the hate first, because that comes through even when you think it doesn't. It's an intense vibe-y thing.


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Weiss_Yohji
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16 Feb 2012, 8:08 pm

Flirting with a complete stranger: That's something that I'm very leery about. I'm used to speaking with people I already know, not just going up to some random person out of the blue! What if I say or do the wrong thing?

Not being in a relationship at my age is a very big deal to me. Something's obviously wrong when all my peers are f*****g paired up and I'm not. Do you have any idea how depressing that is?



OliveOilMom
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16 Feb 2012, 11:10 pm

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
Flirting with a complete stranger: That's something that I'm very leery about. I'm used to speaking with people I already know, not just going up to some random person out of the blue!

Then stick with people you already know.

What if I say or do the wrong thing?

It's not the end of the world. If it's a stranger, it doesn't matter at all. You won't see them again and they have no direct bearing on you or your life. If it's someone you know already, then just act like whatever it was you did was perfectly ok and they will probably start to doubt that it was wrong. Everybody messes up socially now and then, and some more often than others. It happens. It's not all or nothing, it's not the end of the world, it's not black and white. Don't dwell on it.

Not being in a relationship at my age is a very big deal to me. Something's obviously wrong when all my peers are f***ing paired up and I'm not. Do you have any idea how depressing that is?


I know quite a few people your age who aren't in relationships. That doesn't mean theres something wrong. It just means you haven't found somebody compatable yet. Yes I know how depressing that is. I was married at your age, but I've been single and all my friends were with somebody. Even if you don't have problems socializing, it's hard to find the right person. Even the temprorarily semiright person. And when you do there is no guarantee that it will last forever.

Focusing more on relaxing, being more easy going, trying to keep in mind that it happens when it happens and not on anybodys time schedule, rather than getting furious at someone else for being in a relationship, and feeling that you are owed a relationship and wanting revenge on others, can help you more than you think. I'd really get some psychiatric help with those issues because until you do, they are going to keep cropping back up and thats a huge obstacle for you in getting any relationship.


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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 4:59 am

I found some flowers, and passed them out to people at bars. It was pretty fun.



AspieOtaku
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19 Feb 2012, 4:19 pm

you are not alone i also HATE Valentines day with a passion at least after 6 years ago. Because it is a reminder your alone and everyone else is getting all romantic and such while your stuck alone or at work knowing your going home to bed alone. I sometimes get extrememely depressed on that day and borderline having a melt down. I used to yearn for love but not as much anymore I am now a lone wolf haha.