OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
16 Feb 2012, 6:31 pm
^^ It's not hard to understand. You were given the right advice, you just don't believe it will work. You see a girl that you are interested in, you find an opportunity to talk to her. The first conversation has to be approached like you are just wanting to be friends. Unless it's the club scene, it can be wierd for a stranger to come up to you and hit on you like you might be a potential romantic partner. You make friendly conversation. Ask a few things, answer a few things, try and see if you seem to hit it off. Then you ask her out for coffee or ask if you could call her sometimes. If she says no, then you try someone else. irst date should be something that's short and not a big deal. After that you call her and ask for a movie or dinner date. You go from there.
I know lots of kids your age (your thing says 25) who aren't in relationships. It's not a big deal. About half my kids friends are in relationships, about half aren't. Most of them are between 16 - 27 years old.
But you really have to do something about the anger and the hate first, because that comes through even when you think it doesn't. It's an intense vibe-y thing.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
16 Feb 2012, 8:08 pm
OliveOilMom
Veteran
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
16 Feb 2012, 11:10 pm
Then stick with people you already know.
What if I say or do the wrong thing?
It's not the end of the world. If it's a stranger, it doesn't matter at all. You won't see them again and they have no direct bearing on you or your life. If it's someone you know already, then just act like whatever it was you did was perfectly ok and they will probably start to doubt that it was wrong. Everybody messes up socially now and then, and some more often than others. It happens. It's not all or nothing, it's not the end of the world, it's not black and white. Don't dwell on it.
Not being in a relationship at my age is a very big deal to me. Something's obviously wrong when all my peers are f***ing paired up and I'm not. Do you have any idea how depressing that is?
I know quite a few people your age who aren't in relationships. That doesn't mean theres something wrong. It just means you haven't found somebody compatable yet. Yes I know how depressing that is. I was married at your age, but I've been single and all my friends were with somebody. Even if you don't have problems socializing, it's hard to find the right person. Even the temprorarily semiright person. And when you do there is no guarantee that it will last forever.
Focusing more on relaxing, being more easy going, trying to keep in mind that it happens when it happens and not on anybodys time schedule, rather than getting furious at someone else for being in a relationship, and feeling that you are owed a relationship and wanting revenge on others, can help you more than you think. I'd really get some psychiatric help with those issues because until you do, they are going to keep cropping back up and thats a huge obstacle for you in getting any relationship.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
17 Feb 2012, 4:59 am
19 Feb 2012, 4:19 pm
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