How do you start looking for people

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As a gay person with Asperger's who has one foot in the closet, and one foot in the open room (meaning I have made attempts to come out to my dad, but he rejects them on the account that he thinks "I should try to be straight and I will be open to discrimination." Otherwise, I have come out to my friends with little incident.)

I am pretty confused about what it means to be gay. I am sexually attracted to men in a way that I am not attracted to women. However, I feel that my lack of sexuality w/ another person up to this point has kind of made me sexually screwy. For instance, I discuss inappropriate things (such as rather bizarre fetishes and sexual thoughts) openly with friends whom I consider to be rather more liberal on sexual matters. However, this has caused me to lose friends. I having a hard time with trying to decide what to disclose or not to. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, which has kind of made it hard for me to talk about things other than my family situation, my interests/hobbies, and general hopes about aspirations with other people.

Anyways, I am within 5 months of graduating from college, and I am ready to start looking for someone to have a relationship with. However, I am not sure where to start. I have never had a close relationship with anyone in the 23 years since I was born. I am worried about filing a gay personal because I just can't afford it. I have not been employed at all either. I just don't know how to start a relationship or where to look to find it. It seems like the pool of interested people is smaller than it would be with the far vaster pool of heterosexuals.

Please help. I am fed up of being alone in a small, conservative state.

I know how you are feeling-I am older and just found out 2 years ago I had aspergers and it now explains why I never had a relationship in my life and now I feel like I was cheated out of things my same aged peers have taken for granted-I would love to know how to have a realationship and don't know how to go about it when it seems everyone in the community is superficial and do not care about what is on the inside-I feel the same way as you and discuss thing that maybe I shouldn't.

When you, repeat YOU decide to be open and honest with family and friends, it will become that little bit easier. I am not gay however, finding someone is tough whether you're gay or not. Years ago, it must have been incredibly hard for a gay man/woman to find someone. Now there is the net and many chat rooms. Confidence plays a big part (please don't confuse with arrogance). Believe in yourself. I truly believe that you will walk taller and be more confident and happy once you completely feel free from the cupboard you are currently being kept in.

Life is a roller coaster, join the ride.

Morph

I'm sure that visagrunt will find this thread soon and give you his usual response. But as a quick summary, apparently it is better to just focus on making friends, because a relationship will often follow out of that.

I'm interested in women, but I have visited clubs for lesbian and gays on occasion. And a hint you can use is that male gays will not look away if you establish eye contact. I didn't reflect on this until it happened there. It might be used as a hint in ordinary environments on which persons that may share your orientation.

As for subjects like non-heterosexual orientation, being asperger, fetishes etc.. be very selective about it in IRL. Most people are very narrow minded.