Mr. no text back has texted back.
Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I phrased this badly and for that I apologise. I'm sure your self-care is absolutely fine and it was not that that I meant. I'm more on about the impression you make on others if that makes sense?
I'm mainly on about positive - or at least neutral - self-reinforcement on here. To many people, your avatar reflects a very miserable and vulnerable attitude in yourself - you look down, you have an upset sort of face. How about retaking the picture to look fairly positive or at least neutral? Many people don't and can't do "happy" faces on here - I look ludicrous myself when I try! - but a neutral expression shows that you are perhaps keeping yourself in a positive frame of mind? Many, many people here don't feel positive in their real lives but they try to keep a "brave face" on it if that makes sense?
stop posting in her threads.
uhh out of all due respect I never did ask that anyone be barred from posting in my threads, and I am not exactly a big fan of censorship.....if I can post in everyone elses threads they should be able to post in mine. I can always report things if someone actually does go and say something out of line with the rules or whatever. just have to say that.
you haven't ever reported anyone in the past, even when they attacked you. are you willing to actually do so from now on?
umm probably more likely than before...but that's up to me and kinda my problem if I don't report every single time I get upset with someone and miss a few occasions......cant always tell if I am taking things personally or being insulted so I do want to be wary of false alarms as I imagine the moderators would get rather sick of that.
well, it's not just your problem. this is a public forum and personal attacks are not tolerated, whether you are personally hurt by them or not. if the same person is repeatedly insulting someone else but are not otherwise causing a problem, they are often asked to refrain from posting in their threads.
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Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I phrased this badly and for that I apologise. I'm sure your self-care is absolutely fine and it was not that that I meant. I'm more on about the impression you make on others if that makes sense?
I'm mainly on about positive - or at least neutral - self-reinforcement on here. To many people, your avatar reflects a very miserable and vulnerable attitude in yourself - you look down, you have an upset sort of face. How about retaking the picture to look fairly positive or at least neutral? Many people don't and can't do "happy" faces on here - I look ludicrous myself when I try! - but a neutral expression shows that you are perhaps keeping yourself in a positive frame of mind? Many, many people here don't feel positive in their real lives but they try to keep a "brave face" on it if that makes sense?
stop posting in her threads.
uhh out of all due respect I never did ask that anyone be barred from posting in my threads, and I am not exactly a big fan of censorship.....if I can post in everyone elses threads they should be able to post in mine. I can always report things if someone actually does go and say something out of line with the rules or whatever. just have to say that.
you haven't ever reported anyone in the past, even when they attacked you. are you willing to actually do so from now on?
umm probably more likely than before...but that's up to me and kinda my problem if I don't report every single time I get upset with someone and miss a few occasions......cant always tell if I am taking things personally or being insulted so I do want to be wary of false alarms as I imagine the moderators would get rather sick of that.
well, it's not just your problem. this is a public forum and personal attacks are not tolerated, whether you are personally hurt by them or not. if the same person is repeatedly insulting someone else but are not otherwise causing a problem, they are often asked to refrain from posting in their threads.
that makes sense I suppose, just saying its not always actual personal attacks I get upset about.......I do take things too personally at times, therfore I might end up reporting non-insults as insults if I am not careful about it.
_________________
We won't go back.
Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I phrased this badly and for that I apologise. I'm sure your self-care is absolutely fine and it was not that that I meant. I'm more on about the impression you make on others if that makes sense?
I'm mainly on about positive - or at least neutral - self-reinforcement on here. To many people, your avatar reflects a very miserable and vulnerable attitude in yourself - you look down, you have an upset sort of face. How about retaking the picture to look fairly positive or at least neutral? Many people don't and can't do "happy" faces on here - I look ludicrous myself when I try! - but a neutral expression shows that you are perhaps keeping yourself in a positive frame of mind? Many, many people here don't feel positive in their real lives but they try to keep a "brave face" on it if that makes sense?
stop posting in her threads.
uhh out of all due respect I never did ask that anyone be barred from posting in my threads, and I am not exactly a big fan of censorship.....if I can post in everyone elses threads they should be able to post in mine. I can always report things if someone actually does go and say something out of line with the rules or whatever. just have to say that.
you haven't ever reported anyone in the past, even when they attacked you. are you willing to actually do so from now on?
umm probably more likely than before...but that's up to me and kinda my problem if I don't report every single time I get upset with someone and miss a few occasions......cant always tell if I am taking things personally or being insulted so I do want to be wary of false alarms as I imagine the moderators would get rather sick of that.
well, it's not just your problem. this is a public forum and personal attacks are not tolerated, whether you are personally hurt by them or not. if the same person is repeatedly insulting someone else but are not otherwise causing a problem, they are often asked to refrain from posting in their threads.
Apart from anything else, it gives other posters the wrong idea when they see members laying into whoever they feel like, however they feel like it.
It only takes one or two people to significantly and negatively affect the 'culture' of the forum at times.
Giving people permission to be jerks to your face is fine, but I'd reserve it for PMs. I don't think that's a sensible or healthy option, but it is one.
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You're an attractive looking girl, however the photo does strike a dark and negative appeal , I hardly smile in photos myself so I can understand. Perhaps they are implying that your body language or gesture comes across as negative or down? Learning positive body language might help you to project a more positive image.
Not everyone has to be all rainbows and butterflies Disney in a photo, in fact I prefer a more vulnerable honest look, others may not though. Some people can still be happy without appearing like something out of High School Musical, it depends on the type of people you want to attract.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
You're an attractive looking girl, however the photo does strike a dark and negative appeal , I hardly smile in photos myself so I can understand. Perhaps they are implying that your body language or gesture comes across as negative or down? Learning positive body language might help you to project a more positive image.
Not everyone has to be all rainbows and butterflies Disney in a photo, in fact I prefer a more vulnerable honest look, others may not though. Some people can still be happy without appearing like something out of High School Musical, it depends on the type of people you want to attract.
Well it would not be a surprise if my body language comes off that way, and I simply don't have the energy to look happy when I'm not bloody happy. I tried switching it to something trippy that's not a picture of me but I think I have to resize it or something.
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We won't go back.
Probably best to be yourself then, if that's what makes you feel the most comfortable in yourself, go for it. The persona and image you give off will attract like minded people and that's not a bad thing because it's who you are. You shouldn't compromise yourself and it's good that you are being honest with yourself.
Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with your dress sense or the style of photo, reminds me a bit of Helena Bonham Carter style.
Probably best to be yourself then, if that's what makes you feel the most comfortable in yourself, go for it. The persona and image you give off will attract like minded people and that's not a bad thing because it's who you are. You shouldn't compromise yourself and it's good that you are being honest with yourself.
Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with your dress sense or the style of photo, reminds me a bit of Helena Bonham Carter style.
I'm not so sure about that - when I was depressed, nobody wanted to talk to me just by the look on my face.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Probably best to be yourself then, if that's what makes you feel the most comfortable in yourself, go for it. The persona and image you give off will attract like minded people and that's not a bad thing because it's who you are. You shouldn't compromise yourself and it's good that you are being honest with yourself.
Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with your dress sense or the style of photo, reminds me a bit of Helena Bonham Carter style.
I'm not so sure about that - when I was depressed, nobody wanted to talk to me just by the look on my face.
Well I guess all I can say is at least not everyone is that way towards me...and typically the people that would want to avoid talking to me due to that don't have very helpful things to say anyways.
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We won't go back.
I try to smile and talk nicely with people
I dress well and look attractive also
yet people avoid me and they distance themself
Its due to the childhood inhibitions and beatings and trauma i went through
they are underlined somewhere in my personality and people can make out
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
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Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I dress well and look attractive also
yet people avoid me and they distance themself
Its due to the childhood inhibitions and beatings and trauma i went through
they are underlined somewhere in my personality and people can make out
I guess that's why it does not work when I have attempted those things.
So might as well just be who I am and dress how I'd like, but yeah even if I dressed normal and tried to act content and smile and such....people would still pick up on there being something off about me.
_________________
We won't go back.
So might as well just be who I am and dress how I'd like, but yeah even if I dressed normal and tried to act content and smile and such....people would still pick up on there being something off about me.
yes thats how it goes on this wrong planet called earth
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
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