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Mr. no text back has texted back.

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Zinnel
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05 Mar 2012, 4:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


I am not considering it, that's what I meant...just haven't decided what to text him back to be clear I'm not interested in that. Also, I don't consider that too horrible I mean its not like we had discussed making our relationship official in any way. We only hung out one weekend and one night over the next week. He's not intrested in a relationship and isn't pretending he is just to get sex. he was honest and left it up to me and I'm not intrested in that so if he has a problem with that he'll just have to get over it.


Bravo!! :thumright:
seriously you have no idea how happy it makes me to see someone make a decision like that
half the bullcrap my female friends go through could all be avoided if they just thought more like that(in bold)


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05 Mar 2012, 10:59 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
well, at least you got some closure. sorry it ddin't result in anything positive. his behaviour unfortunately fit a certain pattern.

i am a little concerned that you are saying "not sure I am very interested in that though". as you seem uncertain. since you think you might be asexual, and since he treated you badly, and since you would have to take 3 buses, i am not sure why you would even consider that situation at all. what's in it for you?


I am not considering it, that's what I meant...just haven't decided what to text him back to be clear I'm not interested in that.


"I am not interested in that."
It's hard to get more clear than that.


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boblol
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06 Mar 2012, 3:28 am

If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.



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06 Mar 2012, 3:31 am

smudge wrote:
conundrum wrote:
Tequila wrote:
I'm sure he can use his charm and silver tongue in order to overcome your lack of interest in sex.


That's kind of insulting...implying that someone has no self-control...sheesh. :roll:


No offense to Sweetleaf or any other females, but I've known a lot of females (myself included) who are suckers for men like this. I'm not saying SL is going to be sucked in, but I'm not saying she isn't. Women don't trust their gut instincts that a man is BSing them. I'd have avoided a guy like this ages ago, but that's only because I've read books that have confirmed that men who appear really nice, do in fact lie - it is human nature to push boundaries and to be manipulative. They do it exactly by being nice, and they manipulate you by their availability, so that any crumb they feed to you, you'll eat from their hand. They do it by making up any excuse (my mum died, my phone died, my ex died, I've been busy) about why they haven't been in touch, just to make their lives easier, not yours. That may sound very cold of me to say, but people WILL use reasons like that as excuses, so they get to control you by making you sympathetic towards them, and therefore allowing them to get away with more because they "Can't help it".

When the other person controls when communication is allowed - it shows a real lack of respect. People should not tolerate it from either sex.


I agree, It's not insulting to women to say that they are at risk from charming con men,

charming con men often make women have sex with them, and often make men buy crap cars, both genders are at risk from them,

its stupid to say "oh women are to clever they dont fall for that" best to be realistic and safe.



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06 Mar 2012, 10:00 am

boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


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06 Mar 2012, 11:12 am

hyperlexian wrote:
boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


When I said the same about that avatar I was viciously condemned by all and sundry. Glad someone else feels the same way.



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06 Mar 2012, 11:20 am

boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.


I really have no idea what you would even want me to say to that, I was not really trying to look any way specific in that picture...also though this is not really a topic for this thread I have tried changing how I look at myself and it does not work nor do I think it would change my physical appearance.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 06 Mar 2012, 11:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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06 Mar 2012, 11:21 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I was not really trying to look any way specific in that picture.


You look absolutely miserable and vulnerable in that avatar. Is that how you want the rest of the world - and especially men - to see you?



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06 Mar 2012, 11:24 am

I like how I finally come to to conclusion after texting this guy that I don't want to see him again, everyone finds something else to criticize me about.......other then having wanted to text him back to find out what was going on.


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06 Mar 2012, 11:25 am

Tequila wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I was not really trying to look any way specific in that picture.


You look absolutely miserable and vulnerable in that avatar. Is that how you want the rest of the world - and especially men - to see you?


Most of the time that is more or less how I feel, and I'm not interested in sex therefore guys who are into that are going to have a hard time getting in my pants so to speak.


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06 Mar 2012, 11:26 am

We applaud you for finally taking the initiative.

We are simply suggesting something else that you could do to improve your outward appearance with little effort required.



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06 Mar 2012, 11:27 am

Tequila wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


When I said the same about that avatar I was viciously condemned by all and sundry. Glad someone else feels the same way.

you didn't say that she appeared timid or weak, so no... it was not the same thing. boblol is saying that her strength is tied into her image of herself, so if she projects herself as strong and confident in her photo then she will reflect that in real life. you just insulted her without any positive reinforcement at all, which is entirely different.

also, whatever happened to the fact that you are supposed to stop commenting on her threads?


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06 Mar 2012, 11:28 am

Tequila wrote:
We applaud you for finally taking the initiative.

We are simply suggesting something else that you could do to improve your outward appearance with little effort required.


I don't really think there is anything wrong with my physical appearance unless I go a week or more without showering...well ok I guess pimples kinda suck but I don't feel like wearing cover up or anything like that.


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06 Mar 2012, 11:32 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Tequila wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
boblol wrote:
If I was you sweet leaf I would change the way you look at your self. You avatar seems to be you trying hard to look as weak timid and vunerable as possible. If you're seeing that picture of yourself every day and feeling like that every day, then your going to send out those signals.
I'm not saying your going to become confident over night but even looking blank/unemotional would be better than that, just try a little change. Be the "master of your reality" to reference the album title.

this is awesome advice!


When I said the same about that avatar I was viciously condemned by all and sundry. Glad someone else feels the same way.

you didn't say that she appeared timid or weak, so no... it was not the same thing. boblol is saying that her strength is tied into her image of herself, so if she projects herself as strong and confident in her photo then she will reflect that in real life. you just insulted her without any positive reinforcement at all, which is entirely different.

also, whatever happened to the fact that you are supposed to stop commenting on her threads?


Hmm if only people just didn't want to insult me on my threads.......that would be better, oh well such is life.

and I am not strong and confident so if I appeared that way it would be fake, and unfortunately I am not a very good actress at all.


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06 Mar 2012, 11:34 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't really think there is anything wrong with my physical appearance unless I go a week or more without showering...well ok I guess pimples kinda suck but I don't feel like wearing cover up or anything like that.


Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I phrased this badly and for that I apologise. I'm sure your self-care is absolutely fine and it was not that that I meant. I'm more on about the impression you make on others if that makes sense?

I'm mainly on about positive - or at least neutral - self-reinforcement on here. To many people, your avatar reflects a very miserable and vulnerable attitude in yourself - you look down, you have an upset sort of face. How about retaking the picture to look fairly positive or at least neutral? Many people don't and can't do "happy" faces on here - I look ludicrous myself when I try! - but a neutral expression shows that you are perhaps keeping yourself in a positive frame of mind? Many, many people here don't feel positive in their real lives but they try to keep a "brave face" on it if that makes sense?



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06 Mar 2012, 11:34 am

Tequila wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't really think there is anything wrong with my physical appearance unless I go a week or more without showering...well ok I guess pimples kinda suck but I don't feel like wearing cover up or anything like that.


Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I phrased this badly and for that I apologise. I'm sure your self-care is absolutely fine and it was not that that I meant. I'm more on about the impression you make on others if that makes sense?

I'm mainly on about positive - or at least neutral - self-reinforcement on here. To many people, your avatar reflects a very miserable and vulnerable attitude in yourself - you look down, you have an upset sort of face. How about retaking the picture to look fairly positive or at least neutral? Many people don't and can't do "happy" faces on here - I look ludicrous myself when I try! - but a neutral expression shows that you are perhaps keeping yourself in a positive frame of mind? Many, many people here don't feel positive in their real lives but they try to keep a "brave face" on it if that makes sense?

stop posting in her threads.


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