Do you think aspergians should be in relationships?

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I have heard that many cases with an aspergian male and a typical female often goes awry out of perceived lack of emotional commitment. What are your thoughts?

If they want to.

I was in a relationship with a person who also had asperger's and it didn't work out. I think it is hard and must be worked at to be achieved.

All relationships are hard. I myself would only have children with an Aspergian because I feel like we are dying out because so many of us die from bullying and a lot of us don't have children.

If they're happy together then of course.

If they want to.

i don't think it's my place to decide for them.

I think anyone is better off single until they find someone that things work with. Aspie, NT's, anyone. That's really the only conditional that I'd offer from the soapbox.

I don't presume to speak for anyone else, but for me personally it's a really bad idea.

People with Asperger's have just as much of a desire for relationships as anyone else, so yes I think that if they want to be in a relationship they should try their best to get into one and make it work. Sure it may be challenging, but what in life is easy?

Not exactly a constructive answer as many people "carry" the genetic details of Aspergers, even if it may lie dormant for many generations.

For me, it's a case by case scenario...I would say females with Autism/Aspergers are the lucky ones as guys seem MUCH more understanding, and to them it's more interesting to find a girl that isn't like the rest, but for guys to find an accepting woman is rarer since they just want a mix of thrill and family life, which unfortunately, doesn't fit in many Aspergian males agenda.

I think there are often particular challenges. I think that whether AS or not, people tend to need their partners to respond dynamically to their emotions, and I think our traits can get in the way of that, and make everybody feel unloved. I think a lot depends on what's happened to the individual Aspies....if they've had bad experiences with people, trust is going to be hard to build. But NTs also can have bad people experiences.

Possible advantages........a feeling of comradeship and mutual tolerance......sharing harmless characteristics that others find weird.........you might both loathe parties, need routine, you might both value reassurance, hate the mainstream, enjoy logical thinking and doing repetitive tasks, hate lying. An AS-NT relationship could risk the imbalance of the NT being too socially adept, so that the Aspie might feel inferior.

I think it's a mistake to generalise. 2 of my partners have definitely had strong Aspie traits, and both relationships failed. But so did the others fail. They can't all have been Aspies.

Very intelligent points in this thread.

ToughDiamond, I like that you point out the advantages of aspergian relationships and how it would go with a typical gal. Girls want to be told they're right when they're wrong (or so I've been told.) How the hell does that work? I'd imagine there's no mind games in an aspergian relationship.

Stargazer43: I respond to that with a Dr. Cox quote (from Scrubs): "Nothing worth doing in life is easy."

Here's another thought: let's say that the other person feels like the aspergian is more intelligent and feels inferior from that? I read in a psychology book that relationships where both partners are about the same intelligence is important.

I'm finding a little bit of a disconnect between the subject title and the question you asked in the forum post. I don't think that an Aspie having a bad relationship with an NT should automatically lead to Aspies being stopped from having a (romantic) relationship and vice versa. Like some of the posts have mentioned, you could very well have two Aspies in a relationship. Anyway, before I get too far on a tangent, I'll say I don't know every Aspie, therefore I can't say whether or not all should be in a relationships, but I do know that the ones who desire it should be on a level playing field with non-Aspies.

It only took ten posts for it devolve into drivel.

Good job, L&D!! !

If opinions of Aspies being in relationships or not is sorely based on them not showing emotional commitment; I would like to point out that some Aspies do NOT have this problem. I show more emotional commitment to my partner than the average NT.
I think being in a relationship depends on the two people involved. Some Aspies would have major problems being in relationship with the typical NT but others won't. Some Aspies would have major problems being in a relationship with anyone for various reasons but others won't.