Do you think aspergians should be in relationships?

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MONKEY
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08 Mar 2012, 6:02 pm

If they want to. No relationship is perfect and couples notice eachother's faults after the first couple of months, in an aspie/aspie or aspie/NT relationship the difficulties may be different than in an NT/NT relationship but I doubt they're more or less severe overall.


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aussiebloke
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08 Mar 2012, 6:48 pm

Dillogic wrote:
If you're like me, no.

It's not fair on all involved.


This


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tim1982
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08 Mar 2012, 8:01 pm

During my last relationship I didnt know I had aspergers, and since ive been learning more about it, and more about myself, and putting my foot down about things that im not comfortable with. Id have to say no. If you want to try go ahead, but its really too difficult to be worth it. While looking back on my past relationship, there was no way they could have worked.



Bloodheart
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25 Apr 2012, 5:15 pm

My thoughts are that us aspie females can be the same - I have an ex who has told me I hurt him by seeming as if I was not interested enough in the relationship (in my world I was DEEPLY in love with him) and yours truly seems to attract men who are overly affectionate thus see my lack of affection as a lack of emotional commitment. There are then all the expectations of what females should be like within a relationship - not sure if it's my aspie-like lack of girlishness or my boyfriends lack of balls that see relationships fail when I don't fit to what they think women should act like in a relationship - I expect male aspies see a similar problem.

We have problems and I'll even admit that it may be harder for male aspies, but all relationships are a pain in the ass and can go horribly wrong the more you try to force it (which I see many males on the spectrum as being guilty of), but AS/ASD and NT/AS/ASD/HDHD/etc. relationship can work as well as any NT and NT relationship.


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bruinsy33
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26 Apr 2012, 1:20 am

Like any kind of relationship I think people with AS should choose a partner who has many of the characteristics that they have. I am not a believer in ''opposites attract''.



JAYZ
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26 Apr 2012, 5:38 am

Hi there its my first post and this is something that really hits home i have asd and have never been able to trust i hate it i read that you can work on this but how do you stop the brain thinking stuff that is not even close to the ball park some days i just want to fish.



Taybot97
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29 Apr 2012, 7:41 pm

I think we should be able to ifwe want. I'm happy when I'm with my GF, I told her of my AS early on and she seems very tolerant of my actions. Not sure if she is actively remembering that or just tolerant but I like her. In short, yes we can have problems but some of us have a happy current and others (maybe me, no way of telling) have a happy ending.

Just saw this post so editing it in

bruinsy33 wrote:
Like any kind of relationship I think people with AS should choose a partner who has many of the characteristics that they have. I am not a believer in ''opposites attract''.

This is very true. My first GF had some similar interests but was a personality opposite. Very few people knew I went out with her and it didn't last very long. I chose to ignore it happened when possible, only a mistake in my mind. So to 99% of people I know my current GF is my only one, she is not an opposite and we attract well.



AspieOtaku
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29 Apr 2012, 11:50 pm

I think so although it tends to be more difficult for us because most NT partners cannot understand us,However I think everyone deserves to be happy because we need love too and are very capable of it, it is sometimes we have difficulty expressing it and controlling our emotions when we let them out.


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Roxas_XIII
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30 Apr 2012, 2:11 am

We have just as much of a right to a lifelong partnership as anyone else, it's just difficult to find that one person who can understand you enough. Thankfully, I'm pretty damn sure my current GF is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just won't be in a position to pop the question to her for at least another 3 years.


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30 Apr 2012, 5:50 am

It shouldn't matter if they are Aspergians, Algerians, Americans or Albanians... Equal Rights are made for a reason.


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30 Apr 2012, 6:06 pm

Another post I make gets the cut .

Whatever.


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Matt62
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30 Apr 2012, 8:00 pm

Depends on the people involved. And the timing, the situation. Etc.
I got more out of just "half" a relationship than if I had married the person.
Relationships are WORK. They are not magic, which is why so many of us fail at them. You get sold on the mythology, etc. & not the reality. You both will have to compromise. And that goes for EVERYONE in the game.

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TheHouseholdCat
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01 May 2012, 6:16 pm

Why not?

"Should" people be in relationships at all? I don't know. I don't think it's a matter of being or not being an Aspie.


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bruinsy33
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01 May 2012, 7:42 pm

Roxas_XIII wrote:
We have just as much of a right to a lifelong partnership as anyone else, it's just difficult to find that one person who can understand you enough. Thankfully, I'm pretty damn sure my current GF is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just won't be in a position to pop the question to her for at least another 3 years.
Yes,it is difficult for Aspies to find that one person who will understand them.Unfortunately ,many with AS will be perceived as ''different'' or ''odd'' due to social awkwardness.It will take a special person to understand them.



Joker
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01 May 2012, 8:13 pm

It isn' that it's hard for us apsies to find that special some one but it is hard to know how to approach them and that we are interested in them with out being awkward.



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01 May 2012, 8:28 pm

Case by case. But that's my opinion on NT relationships too. :P I think the hardest thing about relationships is that most people when they're in the throes of new love don't see - can't see - what it will be like to settle down and live with the other person long term.



Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 06 May 2012, 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.