Is it possible to reconcile my religious beliefs?
Your Christian beliefs, though, most people I've met don't really think too differently really than you. I'm on the opposite spectrum, young earth Creationist, much more literal with the Bible, etc. Also I'm Orthodox (well not technically yet, but yeah) so that makes Protestants and Catholics think you're weird. If you don't care about the religiosity of the other person, then simply don't bring up yours in conversation until asked, and definitely don't put it on dating sites and the like. I think people would be more scared off that you're asserting your views, as it just seems weird to assert your views, especially when your views are sorta broad like that. Usually by asserting religious views, people view it as exclusionary on your part. So for you and religion, you'd probably be best off with a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to it. For me, that doesn't fly, but yeah.
I assert my views because i'm afraid someone is going to come along and want to change who I am. I'm willing to adapt to be approachable with other people, but I don't want to change my core identity for someone else.
In the end, it just comes down to, people who like you will like you, and people who don't, won't. If it wasn't your religious views making people not like you, it'd be political views, anything really.
Then I guess I really am unlovable...
I'm with hyperlexian and Fnord on this one. You're never going to see eye to eye on all subjects with another person. Unless your partner is extremely orthodox and lives by a strict religious code that affects all areas of life, I don't see why religious differences should be more of a divider than different food tastes or different favorite TV shows.
Just do your thing in terms of religion and let your partner do hers. When the topic comes up in conversation, just agree to disagree and move on. I'm a liberal atheist, but if I was in a relationship with a conservative Christian (I have been for a while in Second Life), I'd simply avoid this topic and focus on other things. I wouldn't try to deconvert anybody.
i don't understand where you get that idea from (bolded). are you saying that people assume that YOU want to fornicate when you ask them if they watch those shows, or are you saying that people who watch the shows want to fornicate more? neither one of those is true - the shows are not even slightly related to having sex.
It was the second one.
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i don't understand where you get that idea from (bolded). are you saying that people assume that YOU want to fornicate when you ask them if they watch those shows, or are you saying that people who watch the shows want to fornicate more? neither one of those is true - the shows are not even slightly related to having sex.
It was the second one.
ok, well glad we can clear that up. people who watch certain shows do not have any more sex than people who watch other shows.
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Just do your thing in terms of religion and let your partner do hers. When the topic comes up in conversation, just agree to disagree and move on. I'm a liberal atheist, but if I was in a relationship with a conservative Christian (I have been for a while in Second Life), I'd simply avoid this topic and focus on other things. I wouldn't try to deconvert anybody.
But what if the partner doesn't want to just agree to disagree? What if it's just something the partner thinks she can "change" about me? There are many things I am willing to do to change for a partner; compromising on core spiritual beliefs is not one of those things however...
Just do your thing in terms of religion and let your partner do hers. When the topic comes up in conversation, just agree to disagree and move on. I'm a liberal atheist, but if I was in a relationship with a conservative Christian (I have been for a while in Second Life), I'd simply avoid this topic and focus on other things. I wouldn't try to deconvert anybody.
But what if the partner doesn't want to just agree to disagree? What if it's just something the partner thinks she can "change" about me? There are many things I am willing to do to change for a partner; compromising on core spiritual beliefs is not one of those things however...
Then your religious beliefs were there before she was, and they'll be there after she leaves.
Just do your thing in terms of religion and let your partner do hers. When the topic comes up in conversation, just agree to disagree and move on. I'm a liberal atheist, but if I was in a relationship with a conservative Christian (I have been for a while in Second Life), I'd simply avoid this topic and focus on other things. I wouldn't try to deconvert anybody.
But what if the partner doesn't want to just agree to disagree? What if it's just something the partner thinks she can "change" about me? There are many things I am willing to do to change for a partner; compromising on core spiritual beliefs is not one of those things however...
Then your religious beliefs were there before she was, and they'll be there after she leaves.
I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with though... if it were a short-term deal, then yeah it wouldn't matter. But I want to have a relationship that's going to have a little harmony in it, as opposed to strife and discord. Yes I know there will always be disagreements, but I'd prefer a relationship where disagreements can be worked through rationally as opposed to with soap opera levels of drama...
having a different faith does not necessarily mean drama. it's possible to respect each other.
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Thats why I said i had no problems with an agnostic. (only a militant athiest that would try to convert me out of religion...)
I only need a few things in common, and it doesn't necessarily have to be my religion. It could be my love of football or baseball, for all I care. Just something we can enjoy together. Between that, and merely being able to respect that I have my own core beliefs, that's all I need. I'm certainly more than able to respect someone else's beliefs, I just don't want someone to come along and expect to be able to "change" me...
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