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Grebels
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09 Mar 2012, 6:45 am

I am at the bottom of the learning curve when it comes to things like Asperger's Syndrome. I only have my own experience for the most part, so would like to open this up for discussion. You tell me how this little bit of writing fits you, or not.


Asperger's and ADDS: are they a curse or a gift? Most people tend to grin and say, “Lost in your own world, are you.” Yes, we are, and at least life becomes bearable. If we get into a computer game it is apparently worse, well according to some people. A whole wonderful world has been created for us to explore and give excitement. I suppose it has to be frustrating for our loved ones trying to talk to somebody who is so engrossed as not to hear a word. It can be a problem as computer games are great entertainment, demanding certain skills, but not productive. Getting lost in our own thoughts can be even worse. The road to negativity is the easy one, It requires no great effort.

However, it is when we can harness our mind and whole being to that one thing there is a focus, like the sun through a magnifying glass. It is the place where genius flowws. I make no claims to be a genius myself but can say I often write a story which seems to have already happened in another place. I am simply recording what I see in my mind's eye. There are characters who even have individual body language. I have shown this writing to trained readers who tell me they enjoyed the writing that easily flowed, from mind to fingers, but at the point where I began trying they no longer took enjoyment from it.

As a portrait painter I can say something similar happens. The complete focus of energy gives that extra power. With it comes the ease of execution and brushwork that denotes the professional artist.

From what I have read theoretical scientists may be very much the same. One great British genius Paul Dirac was practically mute at times, yet his discoveries placed Physics on a higher level.

Do you see what I am trying to say? Things like Asperger's may be very painful, but let us look on the positive side and appreciate the giftedness. Sure, I am very easily hurt. I can feel the harshness of people's words at times, yet then can be sensitive to their hurts. Maybe we have grown up with such an ability and never think about it. I may feel an atmosphere in a place, although I am not always sure how this is useful.

I am trying to get my head round this thing. When I was young I not only felt lonely in the crowd, but had a much deeper despair of being cut-off from the world around me. Call it a spiritual thing if you like. Healing came later, with the possibility of being connected up.

Theories of consciousness are now becoming prevalent, which suggest thought may come from outside the brain. My own feeling is this may be true. Is it possible that people with conditions such as Asperger's and ADDS are much more receptive to that world of thought. Growing up without he ability of verbal expression may have thrown us the other way, to have great gifts, maybe creativity or perhaps as a mathematician.

Whatever, it was a great encouragement for me to realise that what I had seen as so difficult was also the reason for the various gifts I had. I'm not sure that realisation has made me more acceptable to other people, but do know it has helped me to accept myself.

-0-0-0-



CockneyRebel
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09 Mar 2012, 8:04 am

I see my AS as a gift, because I'm much more tolerant towards all people with disabilities than I would have been is I wasn't an Aspie. I'm also more sensitive towards the feeling of others than I would have been, because I've had my feelings hurt many times in the past. I also do have this intense focus which is also good. I'm also more patient with others, because I know how it feels when people aren't so patient.

I live in my own world. That's true, but it's also good as well. There are times when my favourite time in history seems safer than the inner city of my area does, these days and in many ways, it's true. I've started to turn to Swinging London and Carnaby Street many years ago, because it makes me happy and people who frown upon us living in our own worlds should stop and ask us why we choose to do so, instead of saying nasty things about it or that it's bad to do so.


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Grebels
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09 Mar 2012, 1:47 pm

Hi Mick, I used to be very much like you, but am beginning to get less tolerant with age. If I am put down then be sure I'll let people know all about it. The rejection may have made me seem to be arrogant. It is only defensive. The trouble is finding balance and I rarely succeed. I've worked very hard to be good at the things I do, got bold and confident, with a touch of charisma, rather than timid. That made me a threat and I made a lot of my so called elders and betters feel insecure. These days I mostly go for a peaceful life and have given up trying. I think that is very sad.



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13 Mar 2012, 8:37 am

I'd say it's neither a curse nor a gift. I'm not a fan of extremes anyway.

It's simply the way you look at the world. Maybe it makes you more open-minded, but I think that's simply because you're not able to absorb most rules that other people obey. People seem to believe that the only way to be successful in life is to focus on things like money and how to present yourself to other people. Which is pretty boring, in my opinion. I could never do these things because they do not matter to me at all. I used to hate myself for being unable to make myself look good to other people. But I don't want to hide anymore. I want to find something I am really good at and then just focus on that.


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16 Mar 2012, 5:23 am

Now that I'm diagnosed (in later life), I don't have to hide who I am anymore - my quirkiness, my meltdowns, the tendency to either come across as a super brain or mentally slow - I can best be described as content with my Asperger's. Growing up, and even in adult life, I took a lot of s**t, which was far from enjoyable. Now, I can tell people I'm an aspiring writer and bohemian bum. I like to think if I hadn't been born with Asperger's, I may not have been given a talent to paint pictures with words.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



Grebels
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18 Mar 2012, 3:56 pm

Yes Cat, I agree. I want to share how it's been for me. I felt like you when I was younger, that I had something locked away. One day I seemed to have a gift for written words. I worked hard on that. I defintely think it is a case of finding what you are good at then pursuing it with passion.

Hi Bill, believe me I've been through it. A passion for words.



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18 Mar 2012, 4:15 pm

I'm not officially diagnosed but I do believe I have high functioning Asperger's. In my case I don't see it as a gift because I'm not one of those aspies that are really intelligent. If I were really intelligent I might look at it differently but the way I see it now it's more like a barrier that makes life harder for me.



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19 Mar 2012, 11:48 am

Hi lostgirl, I can have plenty of gifts. I'm not sure I could have them if I were a different kind of person. The thing I find difficult is the problems make it difficult for me to find uses for the gifts I would like. For example it is very difficult for me to sell myself. I am not seen as the kind of person to be a leader. I overcame a lot of things associated with Autism and Asperger's, but even so was not accepted. It was as though I couldn't find a place of balance, except on a tightrope. Even though I overcame so much the place of balance was still difficult to find.

I would like to begin a thread. on this elsewhere.



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20 Mar 2012, 9:41 am

Grebels wrote:
Hi lostgirl, I can have plenty of gifts. I'm not sure I could have them if I were a different kind of person. The thing I find difficult is the problems make it difficult for me to find uses for the gifts I would like. For example it is very difficult for me to sell myself. I am not seen as the kind of person to be a leader. I overcame a lot of things associated with Autism and Asperger's, but even so was not accepted. It was as though I couldn't find a place of balance, except on a tightrope. Even though I overcame so much the place of balance was still difficult to find.

I would like to begin a thread. on this elsewhere.


Hi Grebels, can you let me know the title of the new thread so that I can follow along?
Thanks! :) :) :) :)



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20 Mar 2012, 10:52 am

In a nutshell:

"It is what it is. If it were not, I would not be."

Neither a curse nor a gift in my mind either. People ask in the General forum quite frequently, "If there were a cure, would you?" My answer is a consistent, "No."

Some have asked if it's due to fear of the unknown, and I've never felt that's really what it is. Autism is part of who I am. Period. It doesn't define me entirely, but without it I would be someone entirely different. It's not that I'm afraid of the unknown as much as it is that I've spent way too many years accepting who I am to turn around and change myself altogether now.

Reading through this thread made me realize another good reason not to want to change other than making certain improvements if I can. I've not only spent a great deal of time and effort learning to accept who I am, and learning to adapt to society AS I am, I've also expended a humongous amount of time and effort learning to help other people understand and accept me as I am as well. If I were to be "cured" out of the blue, it would totally change the dynamics I've learned to develop within myself, but also between myself and everyone I know.

Would that be fair to them?

Life is finally good the way it is.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"


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