My son is newly diagnosed and I need all the Help I can get.

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Momofthree - if you're in the US, check your State's Department of Human Services website and see if they have any kind of health insurance for kids with underinsured parents. You can often qualify even if you have family insurance; these plans usually cover autism treatments.

The other thing I did was to call an ABA therapy provider in our area to ask what insurance generally covers ABA therapy. If I had not called them, then I would have never known that my insurance has a supplemental insurance plan to cover therapy, because the insurance company never mentioned it. I don't know if this is at all common with other insurances. Some states mandate coverage, but I don't know a lot about this... all I know is that we are on a border with another state that mandates coverage.

so you an get ABA thru your insurance then? I have to check what my insurance will covor, as my son has Asperers I would love a parent trainer or any help out in the community or on the home where his issues are the worst!

I never thought about that. I will definitely check with the ABA to see which insurance they normally get. they will be recommending, Speech, behavirol, occupational and physical therapy for my little guy. They are also recommending 25 hours a week of school (he will have therapy during school time). I think I have to see how he comes with all of that intervention first because it sounds like a lot for such a little guy (he is 3). I think he will definitely benefit from this intervention.

My son is in first grade, but he also gets social skills training through the special ed department 30 minutes per day... it is fairly similar to what the ABA therapist teaches him except I think they work on a more structured lesson in special ed vs the ABA therapist has several lessons that are tailored to his specific needs going on at the same time in various settings... if you do get spec ed social skills training, I would make sure that you know what they are teaching him and make sure that he is able to demonstrate that skill in various settings while he is learning it so you can be his ABA therapist (which is also good for speech and OT)... if you are able to get ABA therapy, make sure you research companies if you have a choice-- some are for profit and some are not for profit-- and look at their therapists-- some will give you a therapist with a graduate degree and some will give you a student who is working under the licensed therapist-- some like to do a lot of observing and parent training, others are more hands on and teach your child while playing with them--

it is overwhelming at first, but things will become more apparent as time goes on, and manuevering through the system will also get easier, especially once you start therapy and the therapists give you more concrete goals to work on rather than the doctor just leaving you with a diagnosis-- don't be afraid to ask the therapists if you can observe the session to see how they do things (they might not always let you) and don't be afraid to ask questions (sometimes they even lend me their books to read) and ask them what you can do at home-- it is still a lot, but it does get easier.. I have only been at this for a year, and I feel so much better about things now than in the beginning

Hi Mom of Three-

I haven't been on WP in awhile, but as I read the descriptions of your son, it sounds like you are describing my son. Here is a brief overview of my son who is 6.5 yrs old. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder Non Otherwise Specified) when he was 2.5 yrs old.

When the developmental pediatrician diagnosed him, he said the PDD diagnosis is for those children who have many autistic traits, but do not have enough to say they are autistic. Over time, my son definitely has emerged into the Asperger's category, although we have not taken him in for another diagnosis with a doctor.

My son did not walk until he was 21.5 mos. old. He did have good eye contact, he babbled, had words on time, smiled. He was delayed in pointing to things, did not bring or show me things, would not play with other children when we went to playdates. He never lost language, but he went through the repeating stages saying things like " Sesame Street was brought to you today by....." However, he didn't think to call out "MOM" if he was upset even though he knew the word mom. He also did not ask us for things that he wanted until we got him into speech therapy. He also would not stack blocks, he didn't imitate alot of things. I worked and worked with him to get him to stack the blocks. I finally gave up, and then one day, he just picked up the blocks and stacked 17 blocks high. He also had all of his letters, numbers and shapes, colors memorized before 2 yrs of age.

My son started becoming obsessed with car logos just like your son. That is still a passion of his and he can tell you what every car that goes by is. He can tell you what everyone drives. His memorization skills are off the charts. He can remember the names of people that we met 2 yrs ago and haven't seen in awhile.

We started my school in the special needs program in our public school when he was 3 yrs old so that he could get all of the help he could. He is now almost 7, and they are beginning to mainstream him to some of the general education classes. He is come so far it is amazing. He speaks in full sentences, he is running and jumping. He still flaps his hands and shakes his head sometimes, and he definitely has trouble interacting with his peers, but he has come a long way, and I continue to be very hopeful for him.

My advice to you would be to go with your gut and start treating this as ASD so that you can be proactive. Do not keep waiting to try and figure it out if your son has autism. He has enough of the traits to be concerned and to start intervening as much as you possibly can. Every child is different, and your son sounds like he is going to be okay with the right supports and programs in place. I know this is a big adjustment and alot to take in. All I can do is encourage you to do is to pursue the help that your son needs and stop waiting for an exact diagnosis from the doctor. The doctor is just being on the cautious side IMO.

Good luck and Welcome to Wrong Planet!

This is just what I was going to say and it is what I did. I learned as much as I could from the internet. My daughter was severe and non verbal, no pointing or eye contact and she was also one of those types that would just drag a chair to the counter to get a cookie or open the fridge and yank out a bottle of juice. Sometimes she used our hand as a tool, she would grab you by the wrist and pull you to the door or whatever she wanted and put your hand on the door knob or whatever. It just took so long to get all the assessments from Children's Hospital in California. We had to wait months for her hearing test only for them to tell us she had too much wax in her ears and we had to bring her back, again we had to wait several months. In the mean time they did get us in for the speech and the speech therapist gave me a card for the Regional Center and said that they could probably help me. After her ears being cleaned out they had to move her hearing appointment so I had to have her ears cleaned again. I was thinking the Children's Hospital would be better than the Regional Center, boy was I wrong. Anyway, they finally did the hearing test and told me she could hear just fine, she just did not respond to us. The last straw was when they told me Id have to wait for 6 months to get her behavioral assessment to get the autism diagnosis.

I started working with her at home and I got her making animal noises, I would mirror the things she did and that would get her attention. We also would sing and put her animals on our heads and sing, it was a Laurie Berkner song, who I strongly recommend for autistic kids, there is something about her songs that they really like. The song was about having an animal on your head, it was one of her favorites so she would look at me and she actually let me touch her plastic animals which she would typically bang her head on the floor, pinch your face or pull her or your hair if you touched....unless one fell over then she would scream until you stood it back up. So she learned animal noises from the song and also started singing the songs. She would sort of babble the song but she was singing the tune and trying to make words so we were excited.

Also they got us into the Regional Center that month and she was diagnosed with Autism and the next day they had therapists in my house. She was about two months from her 3rd birthday so the put her in a public school for kids with various handicaps and they had an awesome Autism program, plus she had in home therapy and speech and OT at the children's hospital and at school, of course. I tried my really hart to teach her sign language but she was not interested. The therapists had her saying a few words before she even started school and we found that she responded very well to pictures with words written on them. PECS are our life saver and I found that my son who started speaking around 9 months and has Asperger's he still can not express himself so we use PECS for him as well, mainly for his schedule because he frequently forgets what he is supposed to do.

If you are having issues when out shopping you should make some PECS to carry around with you. You can save and download pictures (there are even some regular PECS on there) and get yourself a laminator and a printer (most people already have these. Print out the PECS and laminate it and carry them with you. You need the "I Want" PECS and then maybe "toy", "candy", ect.....Also you should have a "Wait" card.....I always used to tell people it was my magic card because I could tell my daughter a million times to wait and she would scream and have a huge meltdown but as soon as I pulled out that card she would stop as if someone pushed her off button.....I had a cashier ask me if she could have it I told her shed have to make her own. All it is, is the word WAIT with a red circle with a line through it.

Also swimming is really good for our kids, if you can find a place that is tailored to kids with special needs its even better but if you do take him to swimming lessons make sure they are gentle and are not pushy.

www.freevideosforautistickids.com

Please, please, please see my free website above for loads of free educational videos and links. A lot of the videos are helpful for almost all kids with developmental delays, autistic or not. Hundreds of links to resources, too. Just tell me if you cannot find something as the site is very new and still being worked on.

Thanks so much for all your advice. It is welcomed and needed. We have been going with the assumption that it is autism even though the neurologist didn't diagnose him, but the school results are that he is on the spectrum. We are still in the wating process for our meeting which should be next month. We have done all the evaluations and once the meeting is completed next month we will begin the process of picking a school. The diagnosis would have helped us in that we would have been able to argue for more services but I think the therapist have been very understanding and I think they will recommend that he gets a reasonable amount of services. I have not told then we saw the neurologist since it would only hurt our cause. We do plan on getting 2 more evaluations in the next few months.

My son does a lot of echolalia but he is also able to ask for what he wants. Let's say he wants waffles. Three weeks ago, he was saying "Do you want waffles?" when he wanted waffles. Now, he is saying "Where is my waffles?", then I will say, "Do you want waffles?" and he will reply "I want waffles". I have been reading everything I can get my hands on and so we try to encourage him to ask for things "I want...". Two days ago, he made the realization that things belonged to different people and walked around pointing to the object and stating who it belonged to. a typical comment would be "My bed, mommy's bed". Or "My yougurt, mommy's yougurt". We are now working on him identifying my body parts. When I ask him to show my mouth, he points to his mouth, etc. He has also started saying "yes" and "now". for example, if I have 2 types of juices and I offer his the first one and ask him if he wants it, he might say no and shake his head. When I offer him the one he wanted, he will say yes and get very happy. I think he is discovering his voice and the fact that he can ask for what he wants.

We still are struggling with him preferring to play alone or just read his books aloud to himself. He does joint in if it's something he really likes like puzzels, but then once that is over, he doesn't hang around, he goes and finds something that interest him. We also struggle with him tuning us out when he feels like it (though sometimes he responds immediately). He still has a tendency to wonder off and since we live close to a main road, that's a constant worry. He also prefers to be outside, close to busy traffic. That confuses me and freaks me out.

I feel sad that his older brother plays more with his baby sister because he gets more response from her. We now help my middle son to play with his older brother to foster that brotherly relationship. Would fit the bill of having Asperger if he wasn't such a social butterfly. He is extremely bright and has an excellent memory. I think as they get older they will be each other's greastest ally. My oldest son has some sensory issue where for some things, he needs to touch then twice. Even at 5 he has figured out not to let it slow him down. He says it makes him slow so he doesn't want to do it anymore. He still does it here and there, but it's drastically less. This is why I would like to help them foster a strong relationship. I think they will understand each other and be each other's greatest ally.

This is a misinterpretation of the criteria: my son is pretty classic, but once he made friends with a member of the opposing team during a soccer game. Once, when we were having him evaluated for suicidal ideation, he made friends with all the (clearly upset and depressed) boys his age in the waiting room, which meant that the psych didn't believe us when we got there.

Just because you have difficulty with social communication does not mean you are not friendly. DS could make friends with Oscar the Grouch (and, IIRC, he actually has) but after that point, holding appropriate social communication is really difficult for him.

When I said my older son would fit the bill of having Asperger, I was exaggerating. What I meant is he did everything early and is very smart with an incredible memory. He literally taught himself to read at 3. Everything I tried to teach him, he almost immediately absorbed and build on it.

He has never had any issues with language, communication or anything like that. He hit every developmental milestone early. He is also very savy with language, spoken and unspoken. He hates being alone and always wants to have playdates with his friends or cousins. He is not self absorbed in any one activity or interest and is pretty flexible and emotionally stable.

He does have a tic or some minor OCD, or sensory issues which causes him to want to touch something twice. He doesn't do it all the time to everything, but if you watch him really really closely, you will see him do it. When I ask him about it, he says he likes to feel things.

I do thing that because he is so compassionate, he will be able to understand and relate to his brother.

my 6yo Aspergers is very social. He is just usually social with babies or adults, not alwyas kids his age, and he goes about it wrong ways, but he is social...sometimes too much so! Alwyas has been, since a baby, and I am guessing always will be! he wants to be social, just doesnt get how to read body language and social cues.

He is also extremely smart, teaches himself most of eveyting, absorbs EVERYTHING! I show him an example once and he has it to memory and how to use it appropriately. My 6yo son is on 3rd grade math just by watching me do the problems. He is then able to do them and understands the patterns or formulas to go to the next level. It is amazing...truly amazing! Sometimes I dont understand and he shows me...lol.

Our kids are amazing I find my son has huge descrepancies in areas. his academics are way above his peers, his social and emotional is below. He wants to be social, but goes about it wrong, but if you see him with 3yos your heart would melt!

Sounds like you are on the right path with your son! Congrats

My oldest son prefers kids his own age and plays well with them. He will talk to adults and babies but if a child his age is around, he wants to play with that child. This is the difference with him and my second son, my second son would prefer to play by himself and just participate only if it interests him. I have incorporated my oldest son into my middle son "mommy therapy". I have been doing my own therapy until the professionals can get to us. In the evenings we have a slew of take turns and pretend games that we play. I give my oldest a "treat" to encourage him to participate (he is a child and treats make everything more fun ).

I told my oldest that we are teaching his little brother how to play and speak better and my oldest really likes the idea that he gets to do something grown up. I am seeing here and there where their relationship is improving. It's sad to think that it took us this to really communicate better as a whole family. The TV is off and my oldest can only be on the computer for 30 mins a day but now, we are all getting used to it. My husband now plays with the boys more outside since the TV is off. I think once he starts school and we get more support, my son will thrive.

Hi Mom of 3-

Sounds like you are doing everything you should be doing. Honestly, the school system has helped my son more than any doctor would ever be able to, but fortunately, we are blessed to be a part of a school that the staff truly understands autism and Aspergerger's and knows how to work with our kids!

My son spoke exactly like your son. If he wanted to go outside, he would say "Do you want to go outside?" He would also refer to himself as "you" instead of "I" and or he would call himself by his name. He had lots of echolalia and delayed echolalia, which is repeating what he heard others say. With lots of speech therapy, most of this has corrected itself. Most of the speech difficulties he has revolve around the pragmatics of speech, which is the social part of speech. My son tends to speak out of context at times, and he will talk about his favorite topic (cars) alot whether you are interested or not.

My son is VERY social with adults. He has never really played with his peers unless prompted by an adult. If he is in a room full of kids with a few adults, he will hang out with the adults. Sometimes it makes me a little sad that he does not really have friends, but he is very happy, and I think it may come in time. He is an only child, so you are very blessed that your son has 2 siblings. I think it will be very beneficial to him.

Hang in there, and keep pushing for your son. I remember the not knowing and just being so worried for my son when he was 2 and 3 yrs old, and I still worry, but my son is just making such great strides that I am encouraged and more hopeful all of the time. It will take a lot of time and work, but my guess is that your son will do very well.