High school versus elementary school

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Ugh, I wish there was an option for...neither.

I was extremely uncoordinated (I'm still clumsy) in elementary school which was in the 1970's for me. I was "pigeon toed" and was mildly a toe walker. Before lunch, the teacher would pick two "captains" (I was rarely if ever selected from what I recall) for the kickball game during recess. All the students would line up against the wall and each captain would alternate in hand picking who would be on their team. I was always the last person picked. Every girl was picked before I was, which, as a boy, was probably harder back then. My classmates did accept my quirks and didn't bully me.

That started in middle school which, for me, was an absolute nightmare literally from the first day. It was a new school for me and none of my former elementary school classmates went there due to some bus zoning in relation to where I lived (rural). On the first day one of the kids in my homeroom was in the bathroom the same time I was. Some upper class students, for no reason whatsoever, singled him out, grabbed him, dragged him into a bathroom stall and literally gave him a swirly while he was screaming for help. I was frozen in fright and had no idea how to help him. My mind and body froze. It was like a jungle to me and bullying was bad.

High school, I guess was the least bad out of the three. I had a girlfriend for the last two of the three years and other than spending time with her had a very small group of people I considered to be friends.

Elementary, my dear Watson! In elementary school, or grade school or whatever it is they call it now, I was allowed to be myself, at least up until grades 5 or 6. Then you become a preteen, start junior high and everything goes downhill. You're no longer allowed to be a child but you're too young to be an adult. Suddenly you're supposed to have your whole world revolve around your social life, fit in with everyone, be obsessed with your superficial appearance and be boy-crazy. If you don't it's completely your own fault and you're a loser. Just like it's your fault if your grades drop like flies and you have anxiety problems so bad you miss school because just thinking of going there makes you feel ill. I would ask my mom why I was so different from other kids. She didn't know. Doctors didn't know. Nobody would know until I was in my late 20's and my life was nearly ruined.

I'm so glad we didn't have the internet back then. Eventually I couldn't go anywhere without being bullied. I couldn't go to the mall or walk through my own neighborhood. They also harassed me and my family members on the phone. Imagine how evil other teens would be if they could go online back then. at least those years are behind me and I don't have to put up with that anymore, but I still have a lot of hate towards the Karma Houdinis who made my life torture.