This just seems so cruel

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynsfNPa5dMo

This child has a finger crossing stim. His mother makes him wear a "splint" devise to discourage him from doing so. This just seems like such a cruel thing to do. If my mother tried an actual devise like this to get me to stop stimming, it would have made me regress. The best thing my parents did for my stims...ignore them. Even if I could potentaly disfigure my body by a certian stim, ignoring it was always the best thing to do in my case. Trying to get me to stop my stims only stressed me out even more and made me stim more. Anyway, I just can't help but see what this lady is doing to her child as cruel.

That seems very cruel. If I was the child, I would have taken it off anyways.

Yeah that's pretty ridiculous, how does crossing fingers interfere with anything else really?

I'm fascinated to know exactly what he does with those fingers. He can clearly take that off himself, so I'm not sure it's any more cruel than forcing someone to wear a gum shield. I find that video very surreal and creepy though.

Jason

The caption on the video says something about the finger-crossing causing crooked fingers.

I have seen parents on youtube advocating handcuffing their children, with actual metal handcuffs (just to stop them from stimming) and having discussions about the best kind to buy so that the child doesn't break them or escape in some way.

I just want to put all these "people" in a pile and set them on fire.

Last edited by Invader on 22 Mar 2012, 6:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.

The mother is foolish and cruel. There is nothing wrong with stimming that doesn't interfere with other things. I am in my 50s and still do some stimming. None of my stimming interferes with other things. Although people have occasionally made comments, none of my stims are really weird. I occasionally twirl utensils and pens. I usually bounce a knee while sitting. Sometimes while sitting I will move a foot up and down slowly, and repeatedly. I occasionally rock fowards and back or side to side while sitting. I did that more when I was young. None of these is really weird though.

The boy's finger crossing also doesn't seem too weird either. It's not like he's flapping his arms or hands, or slapping or banging his head. Stuff like that does look weird to NTs.

I think someone needs to enlighten "Mom" about what she is doing to her kid.

I cross my fingers all the time and I don't see why that is a big deal. I thought that was (gasp) normal. I had no idea it was abnormal. It's quiet and it causes no distraction. Also why is that an issue for the mother but him tangling the scarf isn't?

Yes. I'm not a naturally violent person and I'd never actually do it, but this sort of thing brings out uncharacteristically hostile feelings in me as well.

There is such a thing as a damaging stim--one that causes repetitive motion injury, or one that interferes with what one wants to be doing, or one that involves injuring oneself dangerously. But finger-crossing is not one of them. It is perfectly benign.

These parents are teaching the child that the things his own body does naturally are wrong, that he is not allowed to direct his own movements. That is one of the most disempowering things a child can learn. How will he ever learn to stand up for himself if, at every move, someone is telling him "no, bad, wrong," so that he spends every day of his life being told that they are right and his desires and feelings don't matter? No wonder autistic kids are so vulnerable to abuse. It isn't just social naivite; it's the stigma of disability that says "The non-disabled people are superior to you, know better than you, and should be imitated at all costs; and you are acceptable only to the extent that you can successfully imitate non-disabled people."

Wow thats screwed up, the first part not wanting to put them in a pile and set them on fire...hell as it stands I have a strong urge to hit the crap out of something till my hand bleeds but luckily I'm much too relaxed for that right now.

Wouldn't they get charged with child abuse if they did it?

Argh, sorry to digress, but the "splint" reminds me of the ancient Chinese custom of foot-binding. I once watched a documentary which stated that ancient Chinese females willingly embraced foot-binding because their parents taught them that "bound feet=normal feet". As long as society views stims as abnormal, people will devise ways and means to get rid of stims.

I would hope so.

They could, but it's unlikely. People can get away with an awful lot more with a disabled child than a non-disabled one, by claiming it's for treatment or for their own good. If you handcuff an autistic child, you're a good parent; if you handcuff an NT child, you're a child-abuser. Double standard much?

It would be great if that was the way the world worked. If it was actually possible to believe "that could never happen, people in authority are too credible and honest to allow it!! !" But ithat's not the case.

Most of these laws about people's "rights" only exist to make people think the world is safe and their government cares about everyone, so that people don't complain and just get back to work. Laws against abuse of the disabled are barely ever enforced though, because they're not capable of doing anything about it when their rights are ignored.

Laws only exist to protect rich NTs, or to make themselves look good when they need a little political boost, by "saving" one disabled person out of a million, as publically as possible.

Which is why we should look out for each other. Things are much more effective at a local level. Don't lose hope just because the government is big, inefficient, and often ineffective--that's just the way governments are. You got to do things yourself, if you want to get them done.