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League_Girl
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23 Mar 2012, 2:31 am

Callista wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Invader wrote:
I have seen parents on youtube advocating handcuffing their children, with actual metal handcuffs (just to stop them from stimming) and having discussions about the best kind to buy so that the child doesn't break them or escape in some way.

I just want to put all these "people" in a pile and set them on fire.



Wouldn't they get charged with child abuse if they did it?

I would hope so.
They could, but it's unlikely. People can get away with an awful lot more with a disabled child than a non-disabled one, by claiming it's for treatment or for their own good. If you handcuff an autistic child, you're a good parent; if you handcuff an NT child, you're a child-abuser. Double standard much?



If they are going to hand cuff a child, they better have a good reason. Like my ex told me about when he went to this special school when he was in middle school. There was this autistic kid in his school and he was always in chains because he had the tenancy to attack people. His parents went to court to get permission to do that to their child so they won't be charged with abuse because he was in danger to others due to his violence.

I don't think it's a double standard because if an NT child was in danger to themselves or to others so the parents had to handcuff them to protect them, it wouldn't be a double standard. Same rule applies to everyone here, neurotypicality, autism, mental retardation, bipolar, ADHD etc.

But if they can't handcuff their autistic child to protect them, what else are they supposed to do? Let them harm themselves or other people?

There is a difference between handcuffing a child to protect them than handcuffing them to keep them from stimming. Just had to dummy this up here in case anyone thought there was a contradiction with this post and my other one.



Invader
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23 Mar 2012, 2:38 am

"To protect them" is still not a valid excuse, that's just an easy cop-out to use because less traumatic solutions that require any amount of real effort are just too much trouble for these mindless animals.

To these "people" it's obviously better to just lock their kids up in a perpetually escalating nightmare, so they don't have to worry about the kid's problems and can just get back to watching TV.

Hands-free parenting, for the busy NT lifestyle!

Callista wrote:
Invader wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Invader wrote:
I have seen parents on youtube advocating handcuffing their children, with actual metal handcuffs (just to stop them from stimming) and having discussions about the best kind to buy so that the child doesn't break them or escape in some way.

I just want to put all these "people" in a pile and set them on fire.



Wouldn't they get charged with child abuse if they did it?


It would be great if that was the way the world worked. If it was actually possible to believe "that could never happen, people in authority are too credible and honest to allow it!! !" But ithat's not the case.

Most of these laws about people's "rights" only exist to make people think the world is safe and their government cares about everyone, so that people don't complain and just get back to work. Laws against abuse of the disabled are barely ever enforced though, because they're not capable of doing anything about it when their rights are ignored.

Laws only exist to protect rich NTs, or to make themselves look good when they need a little political boost, by "saving" one disabled person out of a million, as publically as possible.
Which is why we should look out for each other. Things are much more effective at a local level. Don't lose hope just because the government is big, inefficient, and often ineffective--that's just the way governments are. You got to do things yourself, if you want to get them done.


I still think a very large bonfire is the answer to all of these problems.



TheHouseholdCat
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23 Mar 2012, 5:39 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
That seems very cruel. If I was the child, I would have taken it off anyways.

Yeah, but the sad thing is that children often think what their parents or other adults do is justified. :(


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Callista
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23 Mar 2012, 2:18 pm

That's true. I was abused as a kid (no pity please, it's very common) and I did think that because I misbehaved, it was okay for my dad to do what he did. It wasn't okay; but I felt guilty when I misbehaved, and I guess I just put that together with the idea of punishment, even when it was a matter of verbal and physical abuse. It's difficult sometimes for kids to know what's out-of-bounds and what's not. And when they're autistic, it's even more difficult.

Self-advocacy skills are so important to teach.


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MagicMeerkat
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23 Mar 2012, 3:54 pm

Callista wrote:
That's true. I was abused as a kid (no pity please, it's very common) and I did think that because I misbehaved, it was okay for my dad to do what he did. It wasn't okay; but I felt guilty when I misbehaved, and I guess I just put that together with the idea of punishment, even when it was a matter of verbal and physical abuse. It's difficult sometimes for kids to know what's out-of-bounds and what's not. And when they're autistic, it's even more difficult.

Self-advocacy skills are so important to teach.


I was abused as well but brainwashed into thinking that it was okay because I was "bad". I had a teacher who treated me like a criminal and me feel that way and most of the abuse was because of her.


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Invader
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23 Mar 2012, 4:52 pm

I was abused but never considered it to be justified at all. I always hated them and always knew they were wrong.

I wonder what the differences are that make some people believe otherwise. I imagine there has to be a certain degree of unquestioning trust, for one.



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23 Mar 2012, 7:11 pm

OH CRAP! This is bringing up bad memories now. I guess I had them partly repressed.
I have told people here I was pretty bad about stimming when I was a young child.
I believe once, one of my parents may have tied one of my arms behind me. Or simply restrained my arm. Anyway, I was threatened with institutionalization so much, maybe this is the lesser of two evils..
However, this was the 1960s where I probably had a good chance of being sent to a "school" <cough> for disabled children.
It was not a good time to have an ASD.

Sincerely,
Matthew



Sweetleaf
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23 Mar 2012, 7:32 pm

I've come to the conclusion my mom more or less mentally/emotionally abused me, thing is I am not sure if she can help it...she might have narcissistic PD, I mean she has most of the symptoms and so does my grandmother...so i have mixed feelings about what to think of her based on my childhood and such. Then of course I yell at her boyfriend if he says anything emotionally/mentally abusive to her.....because shes my mom even if she did do some screwed up things.


I mean if I actually brought up any incidents where she was being emotionally abusive....she would probably yell at me for making such accusations and say she doesn't remember anything like that ect. Seriously things have been weird since I've become an adult, and have seen things more clearly.



Callista
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23 Mar 2012, 8:08 pm

Invader wrote:
I was abused but never considered it to be justified at all. I always hated them and always knew they were wrong.

I wonder what the differences are that make some people believe otherwise. I imagine there has to be a certain degree of unquestioning trust, for one.
Part of the reason for me was that I had very high standards for myself and my own behavior. I felt guilty for very small things--even breaking the smallest rule, I couldn't sleep until I'd made it right. So it was easy for them to convince me that I deserved it, because I've always been very aware of my own failings.

Not that I was a perfect child. Of course I wasn't. Any kid is rebellious and I was no different; I read under the covers at night, snuck chocolate out of the cupboard, and hated washing the dishes. I had a messy room. I read fantasy stories Mom had banned. I yelled at my parents. Sometimes I even took a dollar or two out of my parents' change bowl (though not without suffering severe guilt afterward). I played computer games when I should've been doing homework. That kind of thing. But now, from my adult perspective, I can see all the stuff I could control (I couldn't control the meltdowns back then) is normal kid stuff--well within the range of what any kid does, growing up and learning self-control, doing the usual mischievous, rebellious, and lazy things that we all do when we're young and impulsive. Yeah, I was a "difficult child" from the start; even as an infant I wouldn't sleep through the night. Mom did have trouble raising me. But even if I'd been outright oppositional-defiant, what my dad did to me still wouldn't have been justified.

Actually, I think my dad convinced my mom that I deserved it too; she's more naive than I am, and more trusting. That's probably the worst part of what he did, because by manipulating her like that he denied her the ability to protect her own kids.


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