Please help. Does it sound like I might have Asperger's?

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Hello,
I'm new here so please notify me if I do anything wrong.
Ever since I was very small, I have been perceived as "strange" or "robot-like" by others (peers and adults), as I seem to act strangely in social situations. I know that this is not neccessarily an indicator of Asperger's. However, when in a social situation, I find it extremely difficult to make eye contact or think of new topics to uphold a conversation. When I try to talk about something which interests me, I find that the person I am conversing with often ends the conversation and doesn't often talk to me again after this. I have to ask someone if they are getting bored of me because I cannot tell by facial expressions, but they won't tell me as it is rude to say so. This made me think of times that occurred in my life where I have told the person I am conversing with that I am bored of them, or that I have said something which is apparently rude which I thought was a compliment.

Also, I have always been very uncomfortable with most types of clothing, which scratch and irritate me, making me frustrated. I also have issues with loud sounds, and often feel dizzy and panicked when a lot of people are shouting around me, making class difficult when I was younger. Along with these things, I hate being touched, which physically repulses me, and I'm often left questioning whether I actually love my parents or not, as I feel very detached from my emotions.

My brother has Asperger's Syndrome and is much like me in that he finds it difficult to make friends, but has an issue with aggression and violence towards others, which I do not possess. It was when he was diagnosed that I began to think I may have it, as I have the same difficulty in making friends, and used to have frequent "temper tantrums" in primary school when I did not understand why I was being shouted at for something which I thought perfectly normal. I have calmed down over the years as I have matured, but I feel that my experiences in school at an early age really changed who I am as a person, when, instead of helping me, the teachers just confused me further.

I have been diagnosed with OCD, which has been present in my life for as long as I can remember. My therapist and psychologist both said that there is a lot of overlap in the way that the two present anxiety issues, and they keep refuting my questions by saying this, and that they won't test me for Asperger's. My mother insists on comparing me to my brother whenever I ask her about this, and I tell her that no two people are the same, but she doesn't listen to me.

One of the lessons I study is English Literature, which requires that I understand the characters in books and their thoughts and motives for doing certain things. However, I always feel that I cannot connect with the characters in the same way as other people can, and they seem to understand them a lot more than I do, and even though I read the texts thoroughly, I keep thinking that the reason I cannot understand them, is because I am not them. This is why I am glad that the internet is a tool at my disposal, as I manage to write essays without becoming overly frustrated.

These are the main issues which affect me in life. Have you any advice for me? I sometimes despair because I cannot understand and feel truly robotic and non-human.

I apologise for the novel, it just makes me so upset sometimes.

Hi Emmybobs! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the different forums and articles here. They are interesting and helpful. You are among friends here at WP.

The traits you describe do seem to indicate that you may have Asperger's or one of the other Autism disorders. It is unfortunate that the docs and your mother are not willing to help you at this point, but you have come to the right place. Go into the Autism/Asperger's forums here. At least one of them has links to some online tests you can take to see if you may be on the Autism/Asperger's Syndrome spectrum. Take the tests. Because of the traits you have described, you will probably test as being on the spectrum, so print out copies of your completed tests to show your mom and the docs. This should get you the help you seem to need. I really think this will help get the ball rolling for you.

It was a great relief for me when I found out I had Asperger's Syndrome. Now I know why I have always been so different from most people. Not knowing why for so many years was very stressful. I still have stress from other stuff to do with my condition, but at least the stress from the mystery is gone.

Now go look up those tests, so you can take them and finally solve your own mystery

Thank you for your help. I have taken some online tests before and they have always identified me as possibly being on the spectrum. However, I didn't think to print them out to show people. I'll do it as soon as I can. Now I can possibly have an explanation.

Thanks again