Do aspie females seek relationships with aspie males?

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The data suggested in this thread says that aspie girls will seek out males with traits that could qualify them possibly in the AS spectrum.

I love being an S-type!

Honestly, I could work with either. As long as he accepts me and loves me for who I am as well as treats me right, then I'll love him back. Right now I have quite a few NT boys chasing after me, hoping they can date me, but I'd much rather be with my aspie boyfriend of 2 years more than any other person in the world.

Some girls have all the luck

Why can't *I* have these problems?!

HA!

_Bloom

I'm not sure.

Previously I've only dated NT guys but hanging around here I can certainly see some pretty big advantages to dating an Aspie *thinking*

The aspie girl that wants protection and someone "to lead" her in the social situations will search a strong NT guy, the aspie girl that wants to protect or at least have a partner with similar traits as her and doesn't have the necessity to improve her social skills, will search aspies or introverted NT's.

As I feel I'm between NT's and Aspies, I fall in love with introverted NT guys.

I actually think I'd prefer an NT, but I don't have much romantic experience at all and have never met or dated an aspie guy so I don't really know.

I think I'd prefer an NT because:

*I feel they could be more emotionally responsive
*Most aspies are very left-brained but I am a right-brainer and would prefer a boy who is the same
*They might have more social connections I could get involved with
*Might have interests that are more similar to mine, my interests are not typical aspie interests at all
*Quite frankly, I'd like a guy who takes care of himself physically (diet, hygiene etc.), and apparently many aspies are oblivious to this (although so are many NT's)

Yes, this. I'd like an NT but not a very typical one, he must be quirky and understanding enough to click with me, not a typical male.

Im not certain, it would depend upon the individual. It does seem that there could be an advantage to dating someone more like myself. The last guy I dated (NT) could not really understand or except me. He once called me a vulcan, and was offended when I burst out laughing. I tried pointing out that my sense of humor was at least intact, to no avail. Ive been single for quite some time now and have been giving some thought to seeking out people who might be more inclined to understand me. acceptance without understanding is only good to a point.

Hmmm... something else I hadn't thought about. Thanks for posting this... I'm really getting a lot out of "listening" to everyone on these forums.

I'm on of those girls that wants to be "protected" and "lead", I suppose. I work, for the most part, on my social skills. Sometimes, when I've had enough, though, I'VE HAD ENOUGH. I need someone to grab me by the arm and drag me to safety At that point, I don't really care who it is

Interestingly, I'm talking to someone right now (yes, just talking) who is on the spectrum... I've never really talked like this to someone on the spectrum and ... it's AMAZING. The open, honest communication, the feeling of not needing to hide ME, the "it's okay to have FUN talking about databases and neurology", and the awkward flirting ... It's all new to me, and I like it. When I talk to him, I don't feel "different." We don't talk about our weaknesses, we talk about our strengths, ha! And our funnies! I dunno... this has really opened my eyes.

I think I'm more open today to *trying* something more with someone like me than I was. I have concerns, though, still... serious concerns. Not about this guy, of course, since we're JUST TALKING But ... in general. I don't know how safe I would feel with someone that would just leave me when things got bad. But that's not just a spectrum trait, I'm sure.

_Bloom

I don't care if a guy is an Aspie or a NT. I like nerdy athletes, and I'm sure there are both NTs and Aspies of this type.

I don't pursue aspies specifically but I do go after the geeky type.

I go for geeky, nerdy but not exactly Aspie types. I've never been particularly attracted to anyone I thought was on the spectrum, except for one case, and that turned out to be a really, really bad idea. Most Aspie men I've personally known aren't what I'd consider dating material. They always seem to have such unrealistic expectations of women that it's a real turn-off.

Yeah on one hand it's all fine and dandy to have a loving partner with the same disadvantages are yourself. But also in the long run it would be nicer if most of us could all find more understanding NTs. I myself would love more then anything to find that special NT of interest. Here the benefits:

More support.

Getting better provided plans met with you and said partner.

You still have the right to bare children with them despite how much some HFA individuals feel about raising a family of their own.

I've read somewhere that there may be a small risk of having any SSI or similar source of income threw said government. That will take away some of your benefits. But you will still have money threw them but not as much as before you two decided to get married. I'm seriously rooting for a change on how most of these clients get these types of private care more suitable. For either retirement or trying to make an honest living all year round.

Last edited by melisa27 on 05 Apr 2012, 11:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'd be happy to date an aspie girl but the trouble is I really can't seem to find any(that are single/interested). I'm pretty damn sure that whoever I end up with, whatever her mental issues are, she will not be normal.

Awkwardness and such is a sign of hypersensitivity.
Lack of imperfections is not something I can easily appreciate.
To me a lot of what you'd call your "average functioning people" seem very polished and robotic in their behavior.
I know most people need to be that way to keep the world turning. It just is such a happy surprise for my soul to find someone who knows how it is.
That said, I think I'll be joining a nunnery soon to preserve my sanity so the question is moot.

I probably would try to find a fellow Aspie.

Because most NT guys make me feel uncomfortable, if not even defective. Because I am not the cute little girl. If a guy has Asperger's it's more likely that we have common ground.