There are many bitter and hateful people on this forum

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fujikochan
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07 Nov 2006, 11:09 pm

Remnant wrote:
Small towns can actually be a lot worse. They have their little cliques that have existed since before dirt.


Yes, depending on whether you 'fall into' their view of things (a small college town is a lot different from a small farming town in terms of its view of "weird" people).



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07 Nov 2006, 11:46 pm

Agreed, small towns seem to have a greater tendency to be entirely one way.
And it certainly won't be your way!! :(

I know two people with AS from rural/remote towns, and their problems with "fitting in" are quite severe.



fujikochan
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08 Nov 2006, 12:17 am

Stinkypuppy wrote:
I know two people with AS from rural/remote towns, and their problems with "fitting in" are quite severe.


I can imagine. In fact, I can do more than imagine. Mine seemed to get ten times worse when I moved from a largish urban city to a town with an official population of 297.



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08 Nov 2006, 12:25 am

Okay, so maybe I was mistaken about the whole 'living in a small town is better' idea. I probably meant to say 'Towns whose lives aren't as busy and stressed out as the big cities are'.



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08 Nov 2006, 12:32 am

I've never been to NZ, but have heard from very many people that it's famously friendly, even in the cities. I remember when I was a travel agent this nutty guy came in and was ranting about NZ and how he had come to Arizona thinking it would be friendly and it wasn't. So he was going to NZ.
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I grew up in Small Town, USA and it was awful. I hated it. I then finished high school and went to college (and for 2 years recently) in a small college city. That town was okay for me, but way too cliqueish for my husband. He'd say quite ordinary things that would make people just stare at him. Bigger cities give a lot more choice as to environments and crowds.



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08 Nov 2006, 12:34 am

KBABZ wrote:
Okay, so maybe I was mistaken about the whole 'living in a small town is better' idea. I probably meant to say 'Towns whose lives aren't as busy and stressed out as the big cities are'.


I felt that I was under more stress living in a small town (working in its college library) than I do living now in a city of 1 million people. (There was nothing to *do* in that small town.)


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KBABZ
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08 Nov 2006, 12:53 am

Hm, this needs more thought than I realised. Okay, so MAYBE it's a combination of variables, such as the size of the town, the amount of stress in an average day, and the personality of the people living there?

Don't forget that there ARE cruel people in NZ, as there are in any place. For a shocking example, watch the movie Out of the Blue. It was released in theatres a while ago.



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08 Nov 2006, 1:26 am

KBABZ,
I think it's primarily the personality of the people. If you lived in a small town, but all of the inhabitants were very open-minded and accepting of AS, then there probably wouldn't be a problem. It's just that in the United States, anyway, small towns tend to be rather closed-minded about a lot of things, partly because they have no personal experience dealing with anything different. In essence, they don't know better.



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08 Nov 2006, 1:48 am

That does make sense. So then maybe it's a luck factor for where (and now, although to a lesser extent, when) you were born and who you grew up with and what your parents were like. I must be very very lucky then!



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08 Nov 2006, 4:24 am

KBABZ wrote:
That does make sense. So then maybe it's a luck factor for where (and now, although to a lesser extent, when) you were born and who you grew up with and what your parents were like. I must be very very lucky then!


I think that's a very relevant point KBABZ, we get our first sense of who we are from our parents, if we get the message from them that 'you're OK', we get a good grounding and sense of self esteem which helps as we go through life. I think it you have that, then you're pretty lucky. :)



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08 Nov 2006, 5:03 am

I hope those who started this thread have realised the great number of open minded people here.

It is the few with the NT hatred, not the majority here.


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KBABZ
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08 Nov 2006, 5:09 am

I think I'm the luckiest person on these boards now that I've said this stuff! My parents have always been around to help me and my differences, always encouraging and keeping me on my feet. Recently Mum told me that, during Primary, I was to be moved into a class the next year, but she knew I would get upset because there would be very few people I knew in that class. Mum went to the Principal to suggest a change. When the Principal suggested that I was 'just a bit more eccentric than the other kids', my Mum said 'Well, you just don't understand his situation, do you?', and left feeling angry. She managed to win over eventually, and I got my good friend Jeremy in that class.

Because of this, as Starr has said, I've had a very positive outlook on life. As a result, I've been able to snag a whole bunch of friends. With NZ's friendly nature, it helps out even more. The fact that I'm lower on the spectrum than others has helped, but then I know another student who is higher on the spectrum than me and he's had a similarly great life to the one I've lived. We both have friends who accept us for who we are and appreciate us and can have fun with. I'm only sixteen and I'm having the greatest time of my life right now, and I don't think it'll ever stop!

At first my parents didn't know what was up with me. Because I was their first child (the other is Lisa, whom we're on very friendly terms), they just thought it was just a part of growing up. After my first epilliptic fit, a nurse at the hospital suggested I had AS, and kindly gave my mum a book about it (most likely by that Aussie dude who keeps releasing books on this subject). Mum said that she was in tears during the ride home because of how perfectly I fitted into this category. Instead of going 'no, it's not possible, it's all a lie', she took it on board and accepted it. She also did not think it was something to be cured, a fact of which I am VERY thankful for.

But yeah, that's my life story, and it goes to show that I am lucky, and than not all NT's are cruel. I actually seems as if more than half of them live in NZ!



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08 Nov 2006, 5:16 am

Scintillate wrote:
I hope those who started this thread have realised the great number of open minded people here.

It is the few with the NT hatred, not the majority here.


This is true. If a leader is stupid, it doesn't mean the entire country is. America is a wonderful example of this with Mr. Bush.



Topher
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08 Nov 2006, 5:19 am

KBABZ wrote:
Scintillate wrote:
I hope those who started this thread have realised the great number of open minded people here.

It is the few with the NT hatred, not the majority here.


This is true. If a leader is stupid, it doesn't mean the entire country is. America is a wonderful example of this with Mr. Bush.


Thats so true, Im English, but i know loads of Americans who are nothing like Bush, and they are very accepting of me :)



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08 Nov 2006, 1:04 pm

KBABZ,
You've gotten a tremendous amount of family support and partly because of that, you've got a very positive outlook on life. Without significant self-esteem issues, and blessed with the capacity of rational thought and ability to focus on your interests (thanks solely to AS), you'll go far in life. So the best of luck to you and your story!

8)