Dazed and Confused

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So here's a doozy I've been working on for over a year and honestly am a little baffled by at the moment. So for the past enth many months I have been trying to convince this wonderful girl that we should date. I really do adore her, but there are of course some major problems. We both are Aspergers, mine seems to primarily affect my priorities, she doesn't always seem to grasp the level of seriousness with which it takes me to tell someone I actually like them. On top of that there are many other problems of course. I don't drive yet, and she's about an hour away, but recently my biggest problem is that my best friend and her have become absolutely livid with each other.

They never liked each other from the start, due to some undisclosed past problems. They were alright through, there was enough respect for me that they both kept their animosities to themselves, and at times they legitimately got along. Well all hell broke loose when my one friend ended up liking my other friends friend. I don't know the details, but somewhere along the line the girl my best friend likes started telling my best friend that the girl I liked was telling her not to date him, or something to that effect. Now the girl I like is angry because she says all she said was that she knew him, and going on what the txts read, I had assumed she said more...but the way the txt's her friend wrote to my friend she did say more...and I don't want to choose my best friend or the girl I'd like to date.

I was always told that the human race is really only capable of half truths because nothing in life is ever one sided. In a case like this both sides really and truly just want me to side with them and I really can't, because I know in the end neither one is truly without blame, and for christs sake it isn't even my battle in the end!! !! ! HELP PLEASE! I really don't know what to do.

And while we're on the subject of this girl. She's it, she's all, there is no one else in my opinion. Having said that however, I have been honest and loving and GOD have I been patient. I truly feel like everything in my arsenal is used up. What is it? Because what's truly frustrating isn't just the fact that I've been trying my best with what I've got, it's because everything going on is so damn familiar to me. I've been single now for 10 years and it isn't for lack of trying. I understand my problems, and I fight them tooth and nail. When is it enough? How do you close the deal in the end? How do you win someones heart?

Thank you for the input. She hasn't actually made me choose between them, but she expects me to support her 110 percent, even when there's a grey area. Maybe it would be a little different if we were dating, but even then I don't believe in blind support, nobody ever learned from it.

I think you should just be yourself and tell both her and your friend what you think.
Say it as nicely as you can, like in a compliment sandwich.

If she likes you she should just respect you more for being true to yourself.

Problem is I do that, but she's still shy about the subject. I can't get an exact answer out of her when I ask why she won't date me. I would figure it to be something a trivial as my looks, but A) that doesn't sound like her, and B) When I talk about this kind of thing with her, and expect a serious answer out of her I don't see, "I don't want to date you," I see just plain fear of dating. How does one get past that.