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Supporting Member
Supporting Member

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Joined: 15 May 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,200
Location: Dallas, TX & Somis, CA

08 Apr 2012, 11:22 am

If the confrontation is between or among others, and not involving me, I will disappear. If it's directed at me, I'll try to talk it out, and my first concern is to appease, and only a secondary concern is to enforce my point of view in an argument. I'd rather surrender and let the other person be right; even knowing by fact that I'm right, and end the thing, than escalate it. Once in a RARE while, I'll find the need to enforce (very strongly but fairly), my side of the confrontation, and will not back down, but have never pushed it to the point of a physical fight.

In business for instance, we have some apartments which my wife manages the business on, while I do all the repairs and maintenance. We have a new tenant who is "testing us" in a way, and she has the potential to be difficult and demanding, and is the very entitled type of personality. She started by complaining the day she moved in that the kitchen cabinets weren't cleaned inside to her standards, while I felt that they were fine when I inspected it. In stead of debating, I simply apologized for her dissatisfaction, and went in with a bucket and cleaners and re-did it. Then she was happy with that, and complained that the paint was off-color in the stove vent hood, and at that, I could easily and rightfully just advise her that she saw it when she looked and before she signed the lease, and she will need to live with it, or pay us if she wants it replaced. But in stead, I found it easier for me, to just go buy one and stick it in, which is sort of a fun thing anyway for me, as I like tinkering with stuff like that. So I did, and now we're both happy, and that $100 cost to me, might have averted $1000 in future hassles from her.