willpower is not an attitude, or an on/off switch. it is an energy of the mind, much like we have an energy of the body that allows for our muscles to perform various tasks. it is a limited psychological resource. the key word here is limited. every person has a certain capacity for willpower. some people have an innate great capacity for willpower. lucky them. others, like you and i, may have to work to build our capacity over time. it generally doesn't happen overnight, no matter how hard you may try to think positively or force yourself to do things.
for me, it helps to visualize the capacity for willpower as an energy bar for special abilities in a video game (or think of the sims with all its various bars). when you're in the beginning stages of any game, your capacity is usually low, and your plan of action must be molded according to that relative lack. in other words, be conservative with it. don't blow it all in one go. save it for important stuff, like the boss at the end of a level. this means starting small. try your capacity against smaller tasks, and see how well you perform. when you find you can move on to larger, more involved tasks without straining yourself, do it.
of course, there's something to be said for straining yourself at times. it can be rewarding to push yourself to the limit. it's a way to define yourself, and discover your capacity in detail. i wouldn't recommend doing it too often, though. it's also a great way to burn yourself out, and find yourself in the midst of a lot of disappointment, and you may quite possibly regress into bad habits to cope with that disappointment.
speaking of disappointment and such feelings, don't get discouraged by people who expect you to change all at once, or look down on you because you didn't start the game out with a high capacity. it doesn't reflect anything on your work ethic(in fact, if you exercise your capacity every day, you're really putting out a lot of effort), your character, or your intelligence. it's also possible and even likely that you have other great qualities that they lack in themselves.
that being said, while willpower is not as simple as just choosing to be successful and choosing to have good habits(if it were, we'd all be successful, wouldn't we?), it is still at least partially a choice. the change doesn't happen right away, but the exercise and development of our capacities must. what i mean to emphasize is development and training, which are achieved through consistency. what this means is that willpower, contrary to popular opinion, isn't a powerlifting competition. not everybody can go lift a truck, and most of us shouldn't even try. but all of us can and should improve our strength to the best of our abilities.
05 Apr 2012, 1:35 pm
Good luck! Never give up! 
