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Obsessions towards others

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namaste
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22 Apr 2012, 2:40 am

Bubbles137 wrote:
I do and it's horrible. At school, I was obsessed with a teacher- wanted to be around her all the time, took all of her subjects and really wanted her to like me. She complained about me and it was one of the most hurtful things I've experienced. It happens a lot- I fixate on a particular person (usually someone who's been nice to me at some point) then want to call/text/email them all the time, and if they don't reply, I assume they don't like me or I've annoyed them, then I get so worked up about it and don't know what to do that I end up annoying them trying to find out! It's nothing sexual/erotic though, I just want the person to like me or want to be around them :/, and it really gets to me. Especially since it's usually people who are a lot older than me and probably don't want to spend time with me or find me annoying, lol. Anyone else had that experience?


i know what you are trying to say.........i have the same problem
cause: lack of love, acceptance and approval from parents having cold and distant parents

todays paper were full of stories about an wannabe daughter of yesteryear superstar who is obsessed with this one actor
http://bollywoodbasket.blogspot.in/2012 ... oblem.html
her reputation is tarnished poor girl


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22 Apr 2012, 12:09 pm

Sometimes. Eventually I'll find something else to obsess about, though. :compress:



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22 Apr 2012, 10:45 pm

I was pretty obsessive towards a girl who I had a crush when I was in middle school. I was still obessed about her even though we went to different high schools in the same county we live in. Fast foward to right now, I still see her when I'm going to the library at college but I'm slowly making an effort to become less creepy and nervous when I'm speaking to her.


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cozysweater
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22 Apr 2012, 11:39 pm

I do this. It usually takes the form of obsessively gathering information about the person. I know it's creepy and I wouldn't be pleased if I found out someone else did it to me, so I really try to keep it under control. I don't know if the people I get hung up on are on the spectrum or not.
Oddly, it's never someone I actually date. Sometimes I think it's a convenient distraction from some other thing that's bothering me that I can't deal with right then. So I find a "crush".



Bubbles137
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23 Apr 2012, 12:34 am

cozysweater wrote:
I do this. It usually takes the form of obsessively gathering information about the person. I know it's creepy and I wouldn't be pleased if I found out someone else did it to me, so I really try to keep it under control. I don't know if the people I get hung up on are on the spectrum or not.
Oddly, it's never someone I actually date. Sometimes I think it's a convenient distraction from some other thing that's bothering me that I can't deal with right then. So I find a "crush".


that's kind of like mine, except that it's usually people who definitely aren't on the spectrum but have been nice to me at some point. When I was a teenager, it was usually teachers and took the form of obsessively gathering information; now, I just want to be around the person and talk to them all the time. I hate it though, the other person always ends up getting annoyed or fed up with me and that's horrible.



namaste
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23 Apr 2012, 4:34 am

cozysweater wrote:
I do this. It usually takes the form of obsessively gathering information about the person. I know it's creepy and I wouldn't be pleased if I found out someone else did it to me, so I really try to keep it under control. I don't know if the people I get hung up on are on the spectrum or not.
Oddly, it's never someone I actually date. Sometimes I think it's a convenient distraction from some other thing that's bothering me that I can't deal with right then. So I find a "crush".

ya its convenient distraction from other things thats bothering me and keeps my mind happy its like serotonin for the brain and quite safe as long as the other person is not bothered
and if the person reciprocates then its kind of nice and keeps me happy
but when the other person ignores, avoids then it leads to severe depression
here the person of my obsession is my source of happiness and i totally depend on them for my mental wellbeing


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faerie_queene87
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23 Apr 2012, 6:05 am

I am not sure what is the difference between obsessing over a person and having a crush... :?


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Wandering_Stranger
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23 Apr 2012, 7:35 am

Bubbles137 wrote:
now, I just want to be around the person and talk to them all the time. I hate it though, the other person always ends up getting annoyed or fed up with me and that's horrible.


I've had this. He moaned at me because I kept asking to talk and then had nothing to talk about. :oops: He does seem to be ok about this though and seems to just acting normal around me.



namaste
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23 Apr 2012, 12:35 pm

Wandering_Stranger wrote:
Bubbles137 wrote:
now, I just want to be around the person and talk to them all the time. I hate it though, the other person always ends up getting annoyed or fed up with me and that's horrible.


I've had this. He moaned at me because I kept asking to talk and then had nothing to talk about. :oops: He does seem to be ok about this though and seems to just acting normal around me.

the guy i wanted to talk with told me that he has a throat problem and cannot talk longer
and one day he went onto say that he will give me phone number of a guy who is good in talking
and i can sit and talk with that guy whole day........since i was only interested in talking......
indirectly he was asking me to fu............. off :duh:


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SanityTheorist
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23 Apr 2012, 1:09 pm

When I had nobody left in my life yes, but since then not really. My thoughts almost never involve people.


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24 Apr 2012, 6:38 am

namaste wrote:
ya its convenient distraction from other things thats bothering me and keeps my mind happy its like serotonin for the brain and quite safe as long as the other person is not bothered
and if the person reciprocates then its kind of nice and keeps me happy
but when the other person ignores, avoids then it leads to severe depression
here the person of my obsession is my source of happiness and i totally depend on them for my mental wellbeing


In exactly the same situation atm :/ except the other person doesn't really care if I exist or not, and ignores me most of the time which makes me feel horrible all the time. i keep trying to bump into her or say hi, but most of the time she hardly acknowledges I'm there. Also really missing a woman I used to talk to all the time who stopped talking to me a couple of months ago, I think she got fed up with me but she never said which was really hurtful coz I used to talk to her at least once a week for a few hours which meant a lot and I think I came to rely on it too much; now I really miss talking to her, even though I know she probably didn't see me as a 'friend'. I hate the way everything seems to depend on the other person and it really, really affects the way I feel.



namaste
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24 Apr 2012, 8:43 am

Bubbles137 wrote:

In exactly the same situation atm :/ except the other person doesn't really care if I exist or not, and ignores me most of the time which makes me feel horrible all the time. i keep trying to bump into her or say hi, but most of the time she hardly acknowledges I'm there. Also really missing a woman I used to talk to all the time who stopped talking to me a couple of months ago, I think she got fed up with me but she never said which was really hurtful coz I used to talk to her at least once a week for a few hours which meant a lot and I think I came to rely on it too much; now I really miss talking to her, even though I know she probably didn't see me as a 'friend'. I hate the way everything seems to depend on the other person and it really, really affects the way I feel.

well many people whom i considered friends have abruptly cut off from me and it hurts like anything
maybe they got bored, maybe they found someone else interesting
new people arent interested in interacting with me............
so the option left is to be alone


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Bubbles137
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24 Apr 2012, 11:43 am

Yep, that's how I feel, really hurts though when they stop being friendly and don't explain why. It's like you suddenly stop existing for them, and they don't even register you. Never used to mind being alone but since last year, i'd got used to talking to someone every week and now I really miss her. Really wish people would let you know what they're thinking, or if they're finding you boring/annoying, instead of cutting you off.