bitterness

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I just alienated another potential friend in a local freethinker's group. She accused me of "having an attitude problem". I ran off MeetUp cuz I'm scared. I wanna stop alienating people. I really do. The more I try to socialize, the deeper trouble I'm getting in. Medi-Cal caps me off after 7 counseling sessions, & my last one is tomorrow. I cannot rely exclusively on the internet for help cuz I only understand 10% of printed words and I do not read braille. I don't know where to turn for more help.

Many people have said I'm bitter through the years. Most recent was my previous psychologist in Middletown, OH. He was the best psychologist I ever had, but I had to let him go cuz I had to leave Hamilton County, OH for my safety & well-being on 10/2/2010. I cannot get rid of my bitterness without help. Many people have demanded that I get rid of my bitterness without help.

On another thread I discussed the one population who verbally abused me the most, and I got called racist. Well, in Cincinnati/Hamilton County, OH everyone makes everything a racial issue all they can. I was the only one who did not, so I left. But look...that verbal abuse and accusations of "racism" are part of the cause of my bitterness.

What were the supposed "racist" claims you made? It sounds like you didn't intend to be but depending on your wording the whole racism stuff is a very sensitive issue. I can relate to you on the bitterness issue, although usually people's wording of choice is that I'm "spiteful". And yes, in some regards I am but only on certain issues. I suppose there's no aspergers/autism meetup group in your area? Maybe you could ease from only communicating online into the real world, maybe develop a few video chat buddies or something? Perhaps if you could see a video of yourself the way you interact with people it would offer insight into how you might be accidentally offending ppl. Some video chats have a window-in-window of yourself while to chat with someone else. Perhaps there's mannerisms and verbal cues you're unaware of. I know I can see why I would be misunderstood/annoying to people when I actually see myself on tape.