Special interests, and how they make you feel

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Me too. I tend to gravitate towards celebrities, and most times, it's ok. There are other times, though, that I get brought back into a couple from the past, and I have to hide it, for fear of humiliation. I've been sitting here today, focusing on one of those and I can't now, because my husband came in the house and he would never let me hear the end of it if I kept on with him here, since I'm as old as I am (almost 36), and it's a member of a boy band. I'm agitated now that I've had to stop, I was *quite* relaxed.

Except for my current special interest (Asperger's), which is making me a bit confused and anxious (because I don't know if I've got it yet), my special interests pretty much always make me feel either happy and excited or calm and relaxed.

Arithmetic, shooting and calendars calm me. You'd think that shooting would be hellish because of the noise but I get so hyper focused that I don't really hear it. Other interests stimulate me. I know I should use that to my advantage but I feel like I have no control over which interests I'm interested in at any given time, if that makes any sense.

Like a fish in water.

Well it depends what special interest I'm currently engaging in. If I'm reading I'm usually relaxing. If I'm listening to techno music, I usually have a lot of energy.

Both energized and calm. Special interests are the easiest way for me to overcome a bout of depression. Sometimes, though, I'm criticized for them and end up ashamed (and mad at the source of the criticism, too). As far as I'm concerned, though, they're a positive thing. It's as if my brain is functioning the way it is built to function, while when I try to avoid that sort of focus it means I'm basically shutting it down partly and using it for the wrong purpose, like trying to use a computer as a doorstop (not just a waste: a computer makes a lousy, bulky doorstop!)