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NeantHumain
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09 May 2012, 8:00 pm

Does anyone else feel that they "bloomed" too late? Compared to others my age and of comparable intelligence, I picked up the social skills I have now much, much later. I am probably at least ten years behind in most social developmental milestones. Through most of college, I was a loner and definitely not by choice; my attempts at making friends largely failed, and I was left utterly isolated and miserable on campus. Afterwards, I was able to get a job as a computer programmer and constant persistence in trying to meet people from freshman year of college on has paid off in improved social skills, or at least I am certainly able to be more outgoing (if not more socially graceful) than even many NTs. Still, new social opportunities seem to be much harder to come by once a person hits their mid-twenties: Most of one's coworkers are married with children and do not socialize with each other outside work. Most other people my age are by now married and often with a kid or two or at least settled into a long-term, stable relationship. I find it hard to "break in" to a good social circle, and it doesn't seem like any amount of effort yields tangible gains. It may also hurt that I live in the suburbs of the Midwestern U.S. city of St. Louis, Missouri, so perhaps the local social dynamic is less forgiving than a more dynamic, youthful city.



redrobin62
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09 May 2012, 8:36 pm

<-----Late bloomer, also. First sexual-like experience at 23. Finally lost my virginity in 1999. I was 37. That was my one and only time, by the way! Never got married or had kids. I still play video games (Fallout 3), drift intensely from special interest to special interest, and my social interaction is so lacking I may as well be on Mars by myself. I like WrongPlanet because I can happily say the above things without repercussion, chastisement, or degradation of my feelings. No one has judged me here; this is the first time in my life it's ever happened! I sure wish WP was around in my teens, 20's and 30's. Oh well. At least people like you and I can give back what we've learned over the years.



2wheels4ever
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10 May 2012, 2:02 am

I've always felt that way. People would assume a guy like me would be sowing his wild oats, and the life of the party, I was more so clueless then and so out of it. I often wonder how many other rock n roll people always went home alone after the gig



Siddhi
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11 May 2012, 4:56 am

I am also a late bloomer. I am 33 and i started actually seeing things possibly in the last 3 years. I agree with you that it is very difficult to get into any social bond at this age, most people already have a life and extensions they need. They dont need more. I guess we cant really help but just try. I am also teaching myself not to expect long term friendships.

If you ask friendship wise i am still like a 6-8 year old trying to figure out who i want as a friend versus who i dont. So taking the rate of my development, i am sure to mature socially to have a partner by the time i turn 99. :-) So there is still hope. :-)


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richardbenson
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11 May 2012, 3:21 pm

Siddhi wrote:
I am also a late bloomer.