Should I Seek A Second Diagnosis?

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After one initial meeting and 1.5 hours of testing, a neuropsychologist has told me he does not think I have Asperger's. For the last year or so I have been convinced that I do, and so have my girlfriend and my mom. I am curious how many people out there sought out a second diagnosis in a similar situation.
I could read when I was 3.5 years old, have a 138 IQ, but I am 32 years old and still deliver pizzas. A clinical psychologist suggested I look into Asperger's to see if it was a possibility. After first denying it was possible, I gradually became convinced that this explained most/all of my deficiences and struggles in life. My girlfriend and mom took a similar path but were equally convinced. So my question is this - is it possible I have latched on to the possibility of having this just to explain/justify my problems in life? I honestly believe that I have Asperger's. But if a professional has determined that I do not, is it crazy to continue believing this? Should I just let go and move on with my life?

I would probably not give up quite yet if I were you. I've only had one (positive) diagnosis, but I initially pursued two different avenues, the first begging for a referral from my campus doctor, who, despite being impressed with my typed-up notes of my Asperger characteristics, wanted to steer me toward a "differential diagnosis", aka something that would seem less serious than AS, like social anxiety. He also lingered a little too long on the fact that I haven't spoken to my dad since I was sixteen, as if it traumatized me into AS characteristics that I didn't have until that point. Anyway, he was taking way too long to refer me, so I sought private diagnosis at a place that focused completely on Asperger's (the more I learn about Asperger's, the more I believe that only an AS expert should make this sort of judgment, not a random doctor or psychiatrist with no nuanced view of AS). I ended up seeing the school psychiatrist later, for anxiety, and when my diagnosis came up she said right away that she would rarely consider giving an adult an AS diagnosis, so I'm glad I did not end up going to her for it.

Anyway, if you have the money, and can find a very knowledgeable, open-minded diagnostician, I would still pursue this. The mere validation of your suspected AS will make diagnosis worth it, in my opinion.

Did they tell you the reason why they think you don't have asperger's?

Mostly because I was able to do well on facial recognition tests. Recognizing facial expressions and remembering names that went along with faces. I scored average, neurotypically speaking, on these. I also scored very high on verbal intel but slightly above avg on visual intelligence. Both my and my mom's self-questionnare scored as 'likely' aspie.

It make me feel much better about myself. I've always felt different and have had people ask why I am the way I am. I wouldn't feel like such a failure and a loser. And I'm not comfortable caliing myself an Aspie unless its been officially diagnosed.

If you feel that even though you scored average on those tests your general ability in those fields is low in real time conversations, maybe you should go for a second opinion.

My parents had me tested when I was ten when I was seeing a doctor and she tested me and then said I didn't have it. But in 5th grade my speech therapists suspected it in me and told my mother and she said no I don't have it because I had been tested for it so my teacher said I may have symptoms of it then but not enough to have the condition. Then in 6th grade my shrink then thought I may have it after she had ruled everything else out after seeing me for nearly a year so my mom asked for a referral to have a professional look it over so she took me to the psychiatrist who specialized in autism. I got diagnosed with AS for closest match for a diagnoses.

Also aspies usually have a high verbal IQ. Mine was always low. I'm between autism and AS and he put me in the aspie category .

My adult son, by all indications, seems to have every characteristic of a person with AS, even from the day he was born (as described by the parents of an Aspie). My son's psychiatrist was convinced as well. However, we went to a center in Santa Barbara which specializes in Autism/Asperger's only to be told that he did not have it.

His psychiatrist completely disagrees, as do we. When we asked the "specialist" why did not feel he met the criteria, they told us one of the main reasons was because of his desire to have relationships with friends and romantically. They said that people with AS do not care about relationships one way or the other. Also, the facial recognition thing as well. The fact that he can say 'hello' at the appropriate time was also an indicator that he did not meet the criteria.

As I found this forum, I realized that these people were less than accurate. That is $2000 down the toilet as far as I am concerned. We will be getting a second opinion though.

You should look for intellectual giftedness, just to see. It may also explain why you're feeling different.

"They said that people with AS do not care about relationships one way or the other. Also, the facial recognition thing as well. The fact that he can say 'hello' at the appropriate time was also an indicator that he did not meet the criteria."

Ha I was told that people with Asperger's ALL want to have social relationships they just can't. I had read that some want to be social and can't, and some don't have any interest in social activities. I'm the latter but the neuropyschologist thought that was not typical of Asperger's.
The facial recognition tests bother me. I know there is such a thing as face blindness and similar difficulties. But to my mind the problem with not reading people's expressions is my inability to make eye contact. If I'm staring at a picture of someone that in no way replicates real life situations or difficulties.

I think that you should seek a second opinion. Just the other day, someone on another forum told me that if I "fail" the testing the first time, to get a second opinion. She has an ASD and it took more than one try for her to get the right diagnosis. Oftentimes, if a person doesn't appear severely disabled, a doctor will not diagnose them because they don't feel the person can have Asperger's. It's unfortunately a faulty way of thinking amongst many people, including doctors themselves.

Recognizing faces is not something that all autistic people have trouble with. I do, because I have prosopagnosia, but many autistic people can recognize faces just fine--including many profoundly autistic people with such obvious traits that they had a diagnosis and a therapist by the age of three.

The Verbal/Performance IQ subscore split is common among those with Asperger's and non-verbal learning disability.

Face-blindness is not the same thing as autism...

It's odd that they assume that if you can say "hello" at the right time you can't have AS. You'd have to be rather severely autistic not to know what "hello" meant. In fact, it's likely you'd have to be diagnosed with classic autism because such problems with even basic conversation would indicate language/communication problems more severe than anything you could call Asperger's. Asperger's can be quite severe, of course, but as it's defined now, there can't be significant language/communication problems. If there are, you push the diagnosis into PDD-NOS or classic autism.

If you have real problems in your life that you need help with, then yes, pursue a diagnosis of some sort. It doesn't have to be AS. It doesn't have to be official. It just has to get you in the door.

If you just need a diagnosis to tell you that you are not, in fact, a lazy bum who refuses to use his obvious potential, then you can assure yourself that you aren't one. The fact that you're looking for answers to begin with--especially by going to a doctor who might diagnose you with a neurological condition, something which most people consider undesirable--says to me that you do care, probably deeply, about where your problems are coming from and how to solve them. Whatever is holding you back, I hope you find answers and I hope you find solutions.

By the way: Pizza delivery is honest work. Don't be ashamed of that. People in the service industry do some of the hardest jobs in the country, and if you can keep a job like that without burning out in a week, you're stronger than most of us.