Here is the rough outline of a conversation between me and my partner, who unlike me is an occasional smoker and rolls his own:
Him: "Why do they have to package filters in these cellophane tubes instead of just a box?"
Me: "It is more spatially efficient."
Him: "Well it makes it a pain to get them out, and no, surely they could pack just as many into a box of the same size without the cellophane."
Me: "But think of the packaging difficulties. It would be harder to arrange them efficiently in a box without the wrapper to hold them end to end and keep them from shifting around."
At this point starts to get frustrated with me and ask why I can't just let it go, and I feel embarrassed and stupid.
I can't tell you how many times I've had conversations like this. Someone brings something up and I express my opinion about it and try to clarify, and as far as I'm concerned we're just engaging in a peaceful intellectual discussion. Then suddenly they're angry at me and ask why I'm being so insistent/aggressive. I go away feeling defeated because I don't seem to have a sense of the appropriate way to handle such situations, and people's negative responses to my attempts make me feel too scared to even try. That in turn leaves me feeling completely alienated, like I'll never be good enough for people to like me for who I am.
Does anyone else have this problem? How can I learn when is the right time to shut up without completely silencing myself? I just want to be able to have a conversation with someone where I don't feel terrified of acting like a freak (not the nicest way to say it, I know, but that's what my internal voices call me, among other equally lovely epithets.)