Paranoia ruined our relationship

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Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,624

21 May 2012, 6:37 am

glasstoria wrote:
And the jealousy over my brother visiting, was far too much for me...............The character in the movie loves her brother, lets call it "inappropriately".

Yes it's a little different to somebody just mentioning that they feel a bit uncomfortable with your familiarity. And incest is not only rare, it's illegal, so anybody having serious concerns about it can call the police, if they really feel there's any evidence.

It took me years to learn how to deliver my feelings accurately, and to think stuff through before going off the deep end. It's a difficult place to come back from, because attempts by others to placate or square the paranoid one tend to be received as pressure to accept terrible risks. I used to see the world as being full of male sexual predators just waiting to capture my partner...........the agony was that I seemed expected to accept acute anxiety and feelings of resentment just so that my partner could get that nice liberated feeling that comes with being able to do whatever you like. My behaviour would of course deteriorate (make somebody jealous, and their behaviour is very likely to get worse), and I could see the vicious cycle - I turn nasty, that pushes her away from me, so she feels more interested in other men. Other men, if they find out we're in trouble, will be encouraged to rock the boat a little more. Paranoia is a living hell, a self-fulfilling prophesy.