How to talk to women (video)

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MXH
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20 May 2012, 12:22 pm

i didnt not watch the video cause i was pissed i it, i didnt watch it because im on my phone and cant be bothered to open a youtube link and hope it loads.



blunnet
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20 May 2012, 12:25 pm

It has funny parts, but the video is not a joke and has a purpose, although BS, and I thought it was just a funny clip, I'm dissapointed :P



all_white
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20 May 2012, 12:28 pm

Oh I'm sorry Blunnet. I thought it was funny. I must have a different sense of humour. :oops:



blunnet
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20 May 2012, 12:34 pm

What I mean is that the video has a serious purpose, apparently, rather than being just a comic clip.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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20 May 2012, 12:38 pm

No-one's poking fun at anyone, it's just that reading this forum would lead you to believe that people have all their hopes of future happiness pinned on finding someone to have a relationship with, when happiness and being in a relationship are not one and the same.



Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on 21 May 2012, 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hartzofspace
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20 May 2012, 4:31 pm

Having read the responses to my post has clarified things greatly. Thanks for your responses!

And, @ Kurgan I meant that chemistry plays a role in attraction. I have never felt attracted to a guy because of things that he owns, or whether he has money, or is good looking. I pay more attention to thoughtfulness and sensitivity. If a guy expected me to be friendly to him just because he's rich or owns a house, he would be sadly mistaken. Those things are nice to have, but would not be a deciding factor in attraction.


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Kurgan
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20 May 2012, 5:29 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
Having read the responses to my post has clarified things greatly. Thanks for your responses!

And, @ Kurgan I meant that chemistry plays a role in attraction. I have never felt attracted to a guy because of things that he owns, or whether he has money, or is good looking. I pay more attention to thoughtfulness and sensitivity. If a guy expected me to be friendly to him just because he's rich or owns a house, he would be sadly mistaken. Those things are nice to have, but would not be a deciding factor in attraction.


Chemistry is a term that's been widespread by the internet. If you don't "feel chemistry", then it's because there's something about him you don't find sexually attractive.



hartzofspace
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20 May 2012, 6:07 pm

Kurgan wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
Having read the responses to my post has clarified things greatly. Thanks for your responses!

And, @ Kurgan I meant that chemistry plays a role in attraction. I have never felt attracted to a guy because of things that he owns, or whether he has money, or is good looking. I pay more attention to thoughtfulness and sensitivity. If a guy expected me to be friendly to him just because he's rich or owns a house, he would be sadly mistaken. Those things are nice to have, but would not be a deciding factor in attraction.


Chemistry is a term that's been widespread by the internet. If you don't "feel chemistry", then it's because there's something about him you don't find sexually attractive.

Yes, I guess that is true of how chemistry works. For myself, I could still be friends with a guy if I don't find him sexually attractive, provided he had other good qualities.


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hyperlexian
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21 May 2012, 3:23 am

MXH wrote:
i didnt not watch the video cause i was pissed i it, i didnt watch it because im on my phone and cant be bothered to open a youtube link and hope it loads.

i know where you are coming from. it made me uneasy too, as i felt like there was an element of poking fun at single males who seek advice here. i *get* that it is intended to be lighthearted, but there is a difference between people laughing at themselves and others laughing at them. but i don't know if it crosses over into being offensive or not.

if anyone feels the thread is outright sexist, please PM me or another moderator. i am not really sure on this one.


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21 May 2012, 4:06 am

hyperlexian wrote:
MXH wrote:
i didnt not watch the video cause i was pissed i it, i didnt watch it because im on my phone and cant be bothered to open a youtube link and hope it loads.

i know where you are coming from. it made me uneasy too, as i felt like there was an element of poking fun at single males who seek advice here. i *get* that it is intended to be lighthearted, but there is a difference between people laughing at themselves and others laughing at them. but i don't know if it crosses over into being offensive or not.

if anyone feels the thread is outright sexist, please PM me or another moderator. i am not really sure on this one.

We have had threads that were about mocking how females write their online dating profiles(which for example included saying that some of the words most commonly used are euphemisms for being fat/shallow...)and all we did was say that females were free to do their own version on males.
I honestly cant see how this thread/video is any worse than the example I put above.



MXH
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21 May 2012, 6:54 am

spongy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
MXH wrote:
i didnt not watch the video cause i was pissed i it, i didnt watch it because im on my phone and cant be bothered to open a youtube link and hope it loads.

i know where you are coming from. it made me uneasy too, as i felt like there was an element of poking fun at single males who seek advice here. i *get* that it is intended to be lighthearted, but there is a difference between people laughing at themselves and others laughing at them. but i don't know if it crosses over into being offensive or not.

if anyone feels the thread is outright sexist, please PM me or another moderator. i am not really sure on this one.

We have had threads that were about mocking how females write their online dating profiles(which for example included saying that some of the words most commonly used are euphemisms for being fat/shallow...)and all we did was say that females were free to do their own version on males.
I honestly cant see how this thread/video is any worse than the example I put above.



The OP in itself and video were fine, but what stops being fine is casually talking about members here as if we are stupid or something. I know the thread you talk about and thats a completely different thing. Thats people sugarcoating their profiles, aka lying. And men do it too, just as often. This isnt about male/female crap, this is simply that it isnt ok to come through as if you knew better than to. It belittling the feelings people here have.



spongy
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21 May 2012, 7:17 am

MXH wrote:
spongy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
MXH wrote:
i didnt not watch the video cause i was pissed i it, i didnt watch it because im on my phone and cant be bothered to open a youtube link and hope it loads.

i know where you are coming from. it made me uneasy too, as i felt like there was an element of poking fun at single males who seek advice here. i *get* that it is intended to be lighthearted, but there is a difference between people laughing at themselves and others laughing at them. but i don't know if it crosses over into being offensive or not.

if anyone feels the thread is outright sexist, please PM me or another moderator. i am not really sure on this one.

We have had threads that were about mocking how females write their online dating profiles(which for example included saying that some of the words most commonly used are euphemisms for being fat/shallow...)and all we did was say that females were free to do their own version on males.
I honestly cant see how this thread/video is any worse than the example I put above.



The OP in itself and video were fine, but what stops being fine is casually talking about members here as if we are stupid or something. I know the thread you talk about and thats a completely different thing. Thats people sugarcoating their profiles, aka lying. And men do it too, just as often. This isnt about male/female crap, this is simply that it isnt ok to come through as if you knew better than to. It belittling the feelings people here have.

I used to try to contact any member that did anything that may come across as a personal attack.
You know what happened? A member reported this to alex and he asked me to let people be as long as there arent any clear personal attacks and on this thread there are no clear personal attacks.
This is the same that happens when someone decides to start joking on a thread/derailing another member thread because they dont like it(which happens rather frequently on this section)...if there are no clear personal attacks we have to step back its sad but its what Ive been asked to do



MXH
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21 May 2012, 7:21 am

I believe in letting members sort things out if they are able to do so without turning into crap flinging. Anyhow i got my point across i think.



hyperlexian
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21 May 2012, 4:44 pm

well, i didn't get any PMs from people who wanted to report the thread, so i will stop thinking about it.

spongy, it's just that i've had a couple of members accuse me of having an anti-male bias, so i wanted to make sure i wasn't missing any sexism directed at men on the boards.


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MXH
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21 May 2012, 4:56 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
well, i didn't get any PMs from people who wanted to report the thread, so i will stop thinking about it.

spongy, it's just that i've had a couple of members accuse me of having an anti-male bias, so i wanted to make sure i wasn't missing any sexism directed at men on the boards.

it wasnt sexism. atleast i dont think it was. just dumb comments



all_white
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25 May 2012, 3:56 pm

I cannot see what could possibly be construed as "sexist" or "dumb" or "attacking" about stating that a lot of people on here wallow in their own misery and post lots of negative threads in the dating section, and then stating that I was trying to post a cheerful one to cheer everyone up and be different for a change. What on earth is wrong with that?

Me and another member agreeing that we felt sorry for said miserable people and their negative attitudes is not "dumb." We are entitled to have an opinion and entitled to pity people and express opinions about things people post here if we choose. I think that there are far too many "woe is me" threads on here, so I thought I'd post a light-hearted one. That's all.

Really...you people are all so paranoid. You're seeing insults where there are none.

Why come here and ruin this perfectly innocent light-hearted thread with absurd and false allegations of "personal attacks" and "laughing at other people's misery" etc?. There are zero personal attacks here. I am not laughing at anyone - I've made it abundantly clear I feel sorry for the people who feel so miserable and lonely. I am not mocking them, and neither is the video. I was only trying to cheer them up by posting it.

Please stop misinterpreting my words with your paranoia. It's really rather exasperating.