Only HE makes me feel like this....

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Teredia
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21 May 2012, 7:25 am

....and i have no idea why....
I have a good friend, who has AS, we've been friend for over a year now, and I have had feelings for him in the past. I have currently a crush on another guy now (who is NT), but everytime i see my aspie friend, J - ill just call him for now... I feel like ive just been struck by lightning, or atleast my heart does. It's like a sudden bolt.
I have never had emotions so strong. Some friends say this is because im "in love" with so called J, but with his constant rejection, I dont see how i could be - not that i even know what love feels like.

I also get extremely happy in the same instant when i see him and i go from my normal quiet aspie self to this hyped up little over social aspie on sugar like thing. Which of course irritates the living F***K outta him.

So yeah, Why am i feeling this? Is it love? and is it healthy for the heart to act like it just got hooked up to a car battery?



SilkySifaka
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21 May 2012, 8:22 am

For me, true love is a deep connection between two people. What you have sounds like unrequited love which is when one person has feelings for another but they are not reciprocated. Some people find that rejection just makes their feelings stronger. I have been in this situation and I don't think it is healthy. If there is no chance of the two of you having a real, mutual relationship then I think it might be better to move on and look for someone who returns your feelings. I'm sorry if this was not the sort of reply you were looking for.



Gita
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21 May 2012, 8:24 am

Hormones and serotonin levels, maybe a touch of dopamine. It's all normal biological function. I don't personally think there is such a thing as "love" per say-- that is something they made up in the 18th century-- it is all chemicals.

If he's rejecting you, try someone else. Getting together and "love" needs two people with similar "feelings" to work. It never will work if only one person (you) feels this way.

And yes, you could feel this way when he does not. For some reason his chemistry has triggered your chemistry.

It is better to find someone who actually "loves" you, otherwise you just become a statistic.



SluvsK
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21 May 2012, 9:00 am

Teredia wrote:
....and i have no idea why....
I have a good friend, who has AS, we've been friend for over a year now, and I have had feelings for him in the past. I have currently a crush on another guy now (who is NT), but everytime i see my aspie friend, J - ill just call him for now... I feel like ive just been struck by lightning, or atleast my heart does. It's like a sudden bolt.
I have never had emotions so strong. Some friends say this is because im "in love" with so called J, but with his constant rejection, I dont see how i could be - not that i even know what love feels like.

I also get extremely happy in the same instant when i see him and i go from my normal quiet aspie self to this hyped up little over social aspie on sugar like thing. Which of course irritates the living F***K outta him.

So yeah, Why am i feeling this? Is it love? and is it healthy for the heart to act like it just got hooked up to a car battery?


It sounds like you have developed a crush on him and you obviously have strong feelings for him. I wouldn't go so far as to say it is love yet, but that doesn't mean your feelings are any less powerful or serious.

Still, having said that, from what you have described it sounds like he only wants to be friends. You could talk to him directly about this, but I am afraid that you will be hurt in the end if you don't try your best to remind yourself that he is only a friend, nothing more.

((hugs)) Good luck.



jhighl
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21 May 2012, 11:18 am

Well all you an do is ask and see what he thinks. Maybe you guys both like each other and dont know it lol.



nick007
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23 May 2012, 2:01 am

Maybe your infatuated because he rejects you or maybe you became infatuated with him because you got really close to him as a friend.


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Evinceo
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23 May 2012, 12:29 pm

Teredia wrote:
...not that i even know what love feels like.

You describe infatuation pretty well though:
Teredia wrote:
...is it healthy for the heart to act like it just got hooked up to a car battery?


I felt that way once, and to this day I wonder if I should have done more about it. Even if you don't act on your feelings, they probably won't go away without an equally painful withdraw phase, so you've got nothing to loose by acting on them.



NicoleG
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26 May 2012, 12:42 am

Limerence.

Although it's mostly used in the polyamorous circles, it can be applied to any new love interest and sometimes even generalized friend interest.