Page 2 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 2:26 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.


I think the OP should do which ever one they prefer, I liked reading when I was a kid because I liked it.....I wasn't doing it for other people I was doing it for me since I enjoyed it.


I love to read too, but the goal would be to get through the weekend with minimal fall-out. Anything anti-social may be deemed the next problem to be solved.


why is it anti-social to read?


The dividing line I use is: does the activity mentally close you off from surroundings? Drawing on a sketch pad has your focus outwards on whatever is being sketched. Reading has your focus inwards.



CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 2:55 pm

{ quote snipped]

I have no doubt she loves him, and is doing the best she currently knows how. She punished him for defying. I doubt she heard or understood any explanation.



Last edited by CuriousKitten on 25 May 2012, 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

fefe333
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 187

25 May 2012, 2:59 pm

thank you guys for posting, and for the ideas.

excuse me, alfonso, my mother is not a cruel person,as you imply. I'm sorry if I made it seem that way, but that was not my intention. She is trying to help me get out and have fun. She is extroverted NT and does not understand. You post was uncalled for, and irrelevant to the subject. I asked how to deal with going to camp,and you raged on about a person you don't even know.


_________________
--
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


Alfonso12345
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Somewhere in the United States

25 May 2012, 3:07 pm

fefe333 wrote:
thank you guys for posting, and for the ideas.

excuse me, alfonso, my mother is not a cruel person,as you imply. I'm sorry if I made it seem that way, but that was not my intention. She is trying to help me get out and have fun. She is extroverted NT and does not understand. You post was uncalled for, and irrelevant to the subject. I asked how to deal with going to camp,and you raged on about a person you don't even know.


I am sorry, I realized I needed to remove my last post so I deleted it. I just have horrible anger control issues. I really am sorry. :( So far, I have not lost total control of my anger, physically, but verbally I have many times, in typing mostly. I haven't gone into a rage out loud to a person that has angered me. I just wait until they are no longer around so I can be alone when I rage.

Please forgive my angry outburst. :( I probably should have just avoided this thread, but I just could not control myself.

I guess all I can say to try and correct myself is I hope that maybe you meet someone there who is very much like you, so you can have a friend to spend time with while there. And the 4 people you said you will know, do you know them well? If so, maybe spending as much time with them as possible might help. It might be better than being surrounded by strangers the whole time.



NTAndrew
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 280

25 May 2012, 3:48 pm

fefe333 wrote:
well, my mom signed me up to go camping with 30+ kids. Its 3 and a half days. My mom Said I need to "get to know kids my age." I'll only know like 4 people there. I didn't know she signed me up till last night, and we leave tonight.
I'm helpless when it comes to social situations,I can't read facial and body movements,and sometimes I don't even recognise people.I'm introverted and I'm not going to have any alone time. We have stuff scheduled till 1 am and we get up at 7.
any one have any tips on how I can survive this weekend?


In terms of survival for the weekend, join a clique, say as little as possible and try to do what others do. Do not do anything that would draw attention to yourself. Dealing with groups of people, especially groups of people you don't know, does not have to be that hard. Many of them will be in a similar situation to you: their parents sent them there, they don't want to be there and they probably don't know many people there.

With a group as large as that, in a time as short as that, it is very possible to go unnoticed.



Senath
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 357

25 May 2012, 4:45 pm

sharkattack wrote:
Your mom does not understand your condition.

It looks like there is no way out of this for you.

While you are there you can take comfort in knowing that there are people in the world that do understand what you are going through.

Good luck.


Well said. I hated girls camp when I was younger (except for the nature part). Hopefully you'll be able to find a person or two who can connect with you and you can endure that time together and feel a little less alone. Even if you don't find someone, try to keep in mind that your time there is finite, and eventually it will all be over! That's easy to say, but probably not so easy to do with all of the activity that's going to be going on.

I survived pretty much how NTAndrew described it, being on the outskirts of a clique, not speaking much, and imitating what everyone else did that seemed to be expected of me, even if I felt like I wasn't being true to myself. It really is a survival situation.

I'm sorry that your mom is unable to empathize with you about this right now. It sounds like she's caring enough to want to try to help you, even if she's not entirely understanding of just how much stress this is going to put on you.



NTAndrew
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 280

28 May 2012, 2:41 am

When you get back from your camping/ordeal weekend, post something about how it was for you. I want to know how it came out, and Ilm sure the others do too.



Greb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 964
Location: Under the sea [level]

28 May 2012, 3:04 am

CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
sounds like she thinks this will cure you. that all you need is to get to know other kids. She may not know much about Aspergers, but it looks like she sees the symptoms.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche


I find that quote to be quite false, at least for me.


There have been times in my life when that quote was a mantra that kept me going.


This quote can be really false and even dangerous. When I was a child I was afraid of swimming. My father just threw me to the water and let me almost drown. Years after it, being adult, I decided to learn to swim and I did it (and indeed, I love it right now), but I'm still afraid of open waters, since I still can remember this drowning feeling.



Jaydee
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 130

28 May 2012, 3:20 am

Sounds like your mom has some problems understanding what you're dealing with. It may be too late this time around, but maybe you can try to explain your predicament to her by comparing it to something which is easier for her to understand. Like: "You wouldn't send a kid with an allergy to horses on a riding camp, would you?" AS isn't like a phobia which may be improved through exposure therapy. Some people have conditions that may be improved that way, but Asperger isn't one of these conditions. If having to socialize with many people causes stress, then more of the same will not improve your situation. It just doesn't work like that.
However, it may be that some people with AS experience that regular exposure to situations that initially cause stress may make those situations easier to tackle after a while. Has anyone here felt that "socialization training" has been helpful?



Dillogic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,339

28 May 2012, 11:08 am

Camping trips with a lot of peers when you have an ASD = not a good time in my experience

Best friends turn into enemies and people see your differences in a second when you're away from familiar environments.

I beat up 3 of my friends during one as they tried to get me to do something I didn't want to (self-defense. I don't take well to being forced into things).



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

28 May 2012, 12:04 pm

Fake being sick. That's exactly what I'd do. Stomach bugs are easy to fake. Go to the bathroom a lot and tell her you have the runs. Also tell her you threw up. Be prepared to be put on a soft diet for a day or two though.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


Senath
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 357

28 May 2012, 1:30 pm

Jaydee wrote:
Sounds like your mom has some problems understanding what you're dealing with. It may be too late this time around, but maybe you can try to explain your predicament to her by comparing it to something which is easier for her to understand. Like: "You wouldn't send a kid with an allergy to horses on a riding camp, would you?" AS isn't like a phobia which may be improved through exposure therapy. Some people have conditions that may be improved that way, but Asperger isn't one of these conditions. If having to socialize with many people causes stress, then more of the same will not improve your situation. It just doesn't work like that.
However, it may be that some people with AS experience that regular exposure to situations that initially cause stress may make those situations easier to tackle after a while. Has anyone here felt that "socialization training" has been helpful?


Nice comparison.

I think that the "socialization training" you're referring to IS beneficial for me, but it has to be done on a constant basis, like exercise. If I don't do it for a while I lose the strength and ability to.