Men, Love and Physical Attraction towards Women

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KnarlyDUDE09
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26 May 2012, 2:56 pm

Today, I just had a very 'interesting' topic of conversation with my family. You see, it all started with my mum talking to my sister (may I add, across the room, rather rudely in my presence) about the fact that she had purchased a pair of heels for me to wear to my dad's birthday party. Now, I say the conversation was 'interesting', but really I really mean 'pointless' and 'unintelligible'- at least on the part of my sister.

But anyway, getting to the point...

So, I had already told my mother on many other occasions of her asking, that I do not like high heels and do not ever intend on wearing them. On this occasion, I said no different to the usual reply. However, when I said this, elder sister then tried to tell me that I HAVE TO (not 'ought to') start wearing high heels like any other woman would do. She also tried to justify her reply in saying not so much in these words: "Men will fall in love with women because they wear high heels". By now, many of you would've guessed that I am completely opposed to her claim, and my response was: "Are you really being serious?!"...and then something along the lines of: "That is not 'love', what you are referring to. That is 'lust'. And secondly, heels are a construct of society, therefore not all women have to wear heels". Now, myself being very outspoken and wanting to get my point across would've continued, if it weren't for Mum who stopped me.

With myself clearly not being the expert in romantic relationships and physical attraction, my question is to you people is...

"Do men (mostly) fall in love with women just because of their clothing and physical appearance?"

Thank you.



Kurgan
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26 May 2012, 2:59 pm

Sexual attraction needs to be there for a man to fall in love with a woman. Clothes that are attractive are clothes that highlight your best features.



SilkySifaka
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26 May 2012, 3:13 pm

I almost never wear high heeled shoes, maybe once a year or so. I've had several boyfriends who have been in love with me (I have no idea why, but apparently it wasn't because of my shoes.)

I don't think many men fall in love with women because of their shoes, if your sister really thinks that then she has a tragic lack of understanding of what love is. Perhaps she is getting love confused with sexual attraction? I'm sure some men do find high heels sexy, but I can't imagine a man basing sexual attraction solely on shoes.

Not wearing high heels does not mean that no one will ever love you, or find you attractive. I think people look attractive when they are wearing clothes that suit them and that they feel comfortable in. A woman hobbling about on high heels that she cannot walk in does not look very sexy to me.



J-Greens
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26 May 2012, 3:13 pm

Yes.
We are very visual creatures. If what we see we like we go after, or want to. That's our first and strongest reaction, personality is only important if we want a relationship, but all impressions are on a physical level first.

That saying we all differ on what we look for and respond strongest to...using your example guys do generally find high heels attractive, but for some guys it's a pair of Martins, or sandals.



edgewaters
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26 May 2012, 3:15 pm

KnarlyDUDE09 wrote:
"Do men (mostly) fall in love with women just because of their clothing and physical appearance?"


Attraction at the very most. It's not enough to cause me to take any serious interest in someone. It will make me notice, but all by itself, little more than that. And of course as J-Greens mentioned, tastes are very different; I find some of the things and styles that are supposed to be attractive, not very attractive at all. I always get the impression that really perfect hairstyles look sort of like helmets, for example.

It can be a deterrent too. Someone can be attractive to the point it's just intimidating and awkward and I don't want to interact with them any more than I absolutely have to. I look for people who are flawed like me, because it's less intimidating and more comfortable.

But that's just me, and I'm an odd one. I have no idea about everyone else - they're all a few cards short of a full deck anyway, so I don't give it much thought. :lol:



Last edited by edgewaters on 26 May 2012, 3:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 May 2012, 3:16 pm

Well, here's something I found out recently out of real life:

WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

They are as visual as the men.

The claim that looks are less important for women is a big fat myth.



Uri
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26 May 2012, 3:31 pm

Yes, physical appearance is quite important to me in a woman and I couldn't (and very probably wouldn't) date a woman who I don't deem physically attractive.



DaBeef2112
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26 May 2012, 3:37 pm

For me there has to be a physical attraction at the beginning of a relationship but as time goes by it becomes less important and the personality/common interest/compatibility takes over at some point.

However if I had a choice to date one of two women and I was attracted to both of them I would pick the one I felt I was more compatible with not the better looking one.


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Ria1989
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26 May 2012, 5:05 pm

I agree wearing heels is a social construct. Furthermore, I would argue that no matter where you live, there are styles that would be flattering to the female body. For instance, there's not much more to see when women are topless and only wearing things to protect their bottoms.

I don't think you necessarily needs to wear heals to be flattering. I had a guy say the hottest thing a girl could wear is tight blue jeans and a fitting shirt with tennis shoes. Some guys prefer athletic-looking girls; some prefer girls dressed up; some prefer girls in conservative clothing because they stereotype them as the girls who don't want attention from other guys.


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rabbittss
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26 May 2012, 5:39 pm

Actually I find girls who wear sneakers or tennis shoes to be the most attractive for some reason... I find high heals to be something preposterous that women allow themselves to be bullied into wearing.



all_white
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26 May 2012, 5:51 pm

In my experience men are baffling and contradictory creatures. They like women to look nice, but they don't like the inconveniences that come as a result.

They like you to look nice wearing high heels - but then they moan about them. They moan about you hobbling along the pavement at a snail's pace, they moan about you not being able to walk further than a few hundred yards in them, and they moan about you needing a piggy-back home or having to walk barefoot. They can't make their minds up.

They like your hair to look nice, and moan if it doesn't - but they moan that it takes you so long to do it. Then if you say "fine then, I won't do my hair today" they moan that you look a mess.

They like your face to look nice, and moan if you don't wear makeup and get dolled up for them now and again, but then, if you actually do, they moan that it takes you so long to put your make-up on. They moan that they are banned from kissing you in case they smudge your lips. And if they do kiss you, they moan that they hate the taste.

Thankfully I no longer care about what society or men want me to look like and no longer wear high heels or make-up or torture my hair trying to make it look "nicer." I have a really great time wearing whatever I want and leaving my face and hair in their natural state and wearing flat shoes all the time, and am happy and comfortable. :cheers:

High heels are VERY VERY BAD for your feet. :evil:



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26 May 2012, 5:56 pm

all_white wrote:
In my experience men and baffling and contradictory creatures. They like women to look nice, but they don't like the inconveniences that come as a result.

They like you to look nice wearing high heels - but then they moan about them. They moan about you hobbling along the pavement at a snail's pace, they moan about you not being able to walk further than a few hundred yards in them, and they moan about you needing a piggy-back home or having to walk barefoot. They can't make their minds up.

They like your hair to look nice, and moan if it doesn't - but they moan that it takes you so long to do it. Then if you say "fine then, I won't do my hair today" they moan that you look a mess.

They like your face to look nice, and moan if you don't wear makeup and get dolled up for them now and again, but then, if you actually do, they moan that it takes you so long to put your make-up on. They moan that they are banned from kissing you in case they smudge your lips. And if they do kiss you, they moan that they hate the taste.

Thankfully I no longer care about what society or men want me to look like and no longer wear high heels or make-up or torture my hair trying to make it look "nicer." I have a really great time wearing whatever I want and leaving my face and hair in their natural state and wearing flat shoes all the time, and am happy and comfortable. :cheers:

High heels are VERY VERY BAD for your feet. :evil:


What about all the women who want a man with six-pack abs, but moan about him spending hours at the gym, knocking out his immune system and having a very strict diet if he does?

What about all the women who want a rich man, but moan if he don't have time to take her on that fancy vacation because he works so much?

What about all the women who say they don't want a man who's vain, but still complain if his hairstyle isn't neatly shaped and his teeth aren't perfectly white?



all_white
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26 May 2012, 5:58 pm

Oh yes, it works both ways, I'm sure. I was just having a wee rant. My main point (relevant to this thread) was at the bottom: HIGH HEELS ARE VERY BAD FOR YOUR FEET! Do not wear them just because somebody says you should.



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26 May 2012, 6:06 pm

High heels were invented by a man, for men to wear. They aren't inherently feminine, or essential to femininity.
You can look cute/attractive/whatever without wearing heels if you don't like them.
They hurt and they're bad for your feet and they'll probably make you look so miserable it'll negate any 'improvements' made to your legs/butt.
You should wear what makes you feel happy and confident (if it's clean and neat), that's enough. In the end that's likely to make you look better than shifting uncomfortably in whatever people think would be "attractive".

@ Kurgan,
What about all those imaginary women? If you don't like them, don't date them.
It's frustrating that people don't realize the time and effort it takes "behind the scenes", that I'll give you.
But women on average (I'll get the number for you if you want) end up spending much more time and money on personal appearance then men. Beauty standards get expensive.


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Kurgan
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26 May 2012, 6:12 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
High heels were invented by a man, for men to wear. They aren't inherently feminine, or essential to femininity.
You can look cute/attractive/whatever without wearing heels if you don't like them.
They hurt and they're bad for your feet and they'll probably make you look so miserable it'll negate any 'improvements' made to your legs/butt.
You should wear what makes you feel happy and confident (if it's clean and neat), that's enough. In the end that's likely to make you look better than shifting uncomfortably in whatever people think would be "attractive".

@ Kurgan,
What about all those imaginary women? If you don't like them, don't date them.
It's frustrating that people don't realize the time and effort it takes "behind the scenes", that I'll give you.
But women on average (I'll get the number for you if you want) end up spending much more time and money on personal appearance then men. Beauty standards get expensive.


Compared to the time a man needs to build an impressive physique at the gym, it takes very little time.

As far as the stuff about the MySpace angles goes, I've been tricked by that at dating sites, when I was younger and more naive. I had every reason to be insulted because I've moved my time schedule, spent money on gas and all that for someone who deceived me. I didn't tell any of the girls that they were ugly though; I have certain moral standards.

Furthermore, high heels makes a woman's legs look longer. Nobody's forcing you to wear them if you do not like them.



rabbittss
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26 May 2012, 6:18 pm

all_white wrote:
In my experience men are baffling and contradictory creatures. They like women to look nice, but they don't like the inconveniences that come as a result.

They like you to look nice wearing high heels - but then they moan about them. They moan about you hobbling along the pavement at a snail's pace, they moan about you not being able to walk further than a few hundred yards in them, and they moan about you needing a piggy-back home or having to walk barefoot. They can't make their minds up.

They like your hair to look nice, and moan if it doesn't - but they moan that it takes you so long to do it. Then if you say "fine then, I won't do my hair today" they moan that you look a mess.

They like your face to look nice, and moan if you don't wear makeup and get dolled up for them now and again, but then, if you actually do, they moan that it takes you so long to put your make-up on. They moan that they are banned from kissing you in case they smudge your lips. And if they do kiss you, they moan that they hate the taste.

Thankfully I no longer care about what society or men want me to look like and no longer wear high heels or make-up or torture my hair trying to make it look "nicer." I have a really great time wearing whatever I want and leaving my face and hair in their natural state and wearing flat shoes all the time, and am happy and comfortable. :cheers:

High heels are VERY VERY BAD for your feet. :evil:


For the record, I really prefer it if girls leave their hair alone apart from brushing it, and I'd actually prefer if she didn't wear make up. I consider it to be false advertizing, same as a padded bra.. to be totally honest. I'd rather see her for her, than see what she paints and pads herself to be like.