What services have helped you the most?

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What types of support services or systems have you found to be the most beneficial for your child, your family, and yourself?

At least in elementary school, our son was most helped by speech therapy. Not because he needed help with SPEECH, actually, but rather that the therapist helped with both pragmatic language skills, and even more important than that, helped facilitate social skills. She would have my son invite two NT peers from his class each time he came to her, and she would observe their play skills, and help him learn how to interact appropriately. As he got older, he would invite two peers to her classroom at lunchtime, and they would converse -- and the therapist would help him work on conversational skills.

Even in high school, they have certain social skills get-togethers every once in a while, and my son enjoys them immensely. At this stage, my son is fully included, and is taking Honors Pre-Calc next year. Academically, he's doing very well. Socially, it's still a struggle, but it's getting better.

Services haven't been a huge help so far, although private speech therapy for pronunciation and OT for handwriting were well worth the money. DS6 was in a social skills class run by an SLP for a year, until he began tantruming badly enough to discontinue the class. Not sure if he got much out of it or not. Feeding therapy was a disaster, if anything he is more resistant to trying new foods. School speech and OT don't seem to be accomplishing much. He's figured out that by spitting on the table he can gross out the SLP and get a social story instead of working on /l/ words. We're starting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we'll see how that goes.

Honestly, what made the most difference for DS were two gifted and incredible teachers, one in preschool and the other in kindergarten, and medication. Behavior wise, ADHD medication has made a dramatic improvement -- with it, his K teacher was able to teach him to go to a break area when he gets upset, to apologize and make amends, and to better handle transitions during school. When we lowered the dose due to side effects, he returned to having tantrums where she said he was unreachable (eloping, hitting, kicking, biting, throwing objects). Increased the dose again, and a week later he is completing most of his work and actually playing with peers on occasion.

My experience was similar. I don't think Early Intervention (Speech and Occupational Therapy from age 2-3) made any significant difference in my son's development (though they were quick to try to take credit for advancements that he made as a result of watching educational TV!) And I saw the same trend with the feeding therapy suggestions that it just made my son more oppositional, it created a lot of problems .... when the Occupational Therapist asked me if I was following through with the Food Play suggestions she gave us and I told her no I didn't think it was a good fit for us she obviously didn't believe me so I arranged for one of our sessions to be based on her food play ... afterwards she apologized and said she had no idea my son would react so negatively to those techniques ... after my son finally started eating a few normal foods (chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, assorted fruits and snack foods) I stopped pushing new foods on him and didn't work on eating with a fork or spoon at all because it's all finger foods. As of just a few days ago (he just turned 4) he's started eating waffles with a fork, he's been asking for them everyday. No therapy, he just needed to do it on his own terms and own time. I'm glad I chose not to focus on that issue, though I do not doubt those techniques could have been very helpful to children with issues different to those of my son.

I was bad at trying new foods as a child, and there were fights over it when I was growing up. I am now in my early 50s, and am still not fond of trying new foods. I do want to try them sometimes, though, but it does have to be in my own time. I will sometimes buy something new to try, and it will sit around the house for months, occasionally a year or two, until I am ready to try it. I can't be rushed on this. I will occasionally try stuff in the supermarkets when they are giving free samples of foods at demo tables. This allows me to take a very small portion without buying a whole package, so I don't have to worry about paying for and wasting something I may not like, so I am more inclined to try foods this way. I will also occasionally try things when visiting relatives, because again, I can take just a small portion instead of buying a whole package, and I will also try new things at buffet style restaurants, because again, I can take a small portion, and not have to buy a whole package that might get thrown out if I don't like it. I find these are the best way for me to try stuff, but I don't eat out, or at relatives, or shop much, so I do also have to occasionally buy packages of new things to try at home.

I suggest you try making it like a game for your son. Take him to the store and have him pick out one thing to try on each store visit, but don't force him to immediately try it once you get home. Just ask him once or twice a week if he'd like you to prepare the new food for that day/night. You could also suggest some foods and toppings he already likes that you think would go with it, and ask him which of those he'd like to have with the new food. This puts some of the control in his hands, so it should decrease his stress on trying new foods.

Hope this helps.

I will ditto this. We'd gotten some social skills classes prior to the diagnosis of a deficit in pragmatic speech which weren't helpful because DS didn't have sufficient skills in social speech. Once he got the pragmatic speech therapy, the social skills classes started to help. Social skills classes outside of school, run by therapists specializing in autism, helped a lot, too. There is some degree to which any given intervention is only as good as the interventionist. Our school's social worker was right next to useless, sorry to say - but the speech therapist, OTOH, actually seemed to 'get it.'

An aside - daclark5, you mentioned you "work with kids" on the spectrum, but the way some of your questions are presented makes it appear to me that you're researching an article or something similar. I feel it's worth it to note that parents here are taking what you said at face value. Obviously, I want to support anyone working directly with kids on the spectrum either as parent or caregiver, and have no problem offering my experience in that case, as I think most posters here do.

On the other hand, I know I, for one, would be uncomfortable if my responses to your questions were used without my permission in some kind of publication, even if I wasn't quoted directly, and I would guess I am not alone. I think if you have any other agenda, I'd appreciate it if you disclosed it and mentioned it in each post you make to allay any confusion. I apologize in advance if I have made a false assumption.

No I picked up on this too, which is why I'm only offering some relatively harsh answers and won't touch the marital problem question with a 100 foot pole.

Third vote for speech, due to the pragmatics and social skills practice, followed by OT where my son learned to type.

Early intervention made a HUGE difference in my daughters life. She was severely autistic, no eye contact, no pointing, waving, speaking, or looking where you pointed. She spent her days lining things up, especially her huge box of plastic animals and if one fell or you moved one she would scream, pull her hair and bite herself.
We had in home therapy three days a week and after she turned 3 they put her in an autism program that used the same type of therapy TEACCH method, as was used in our in home therapy. The in home therapy lasted until we moved when she was five to France.

While we were going through the diagnosis procedures (we started at childrens hospital who were incredibly slow so we moved to the California Regional Center that paid for all her in home therapy) I took her to swim lessons. They used a special slow gentle way to introduce kids to the water and they accepted kids with special needs. I told them we did not know yet but suspected that Maddy had Autism. They asked if she was aggressive toward other kids. told them she ignored other kids. She was interested in their hair ties or barrettes though LOL.

Anyway, I have videos starting from five years old that shows how much she changed. Her IQ is very high in critical thinking and mathematical/scientific thinking. You can see her on my videos on youtube under Aspiemom42 if interested in her amazing change.

Thank you very much for the clarification.

I would guess that the thing that sets this community apart is twofold: our willingness to read and research until we find answers that make sense, and our willingness to ask for help, especially and specifically from the autistic community.


As for lunch, you're probably dealing with three separate issues: lunchtime is a complex social situation with a lot of unwritten rules that kids on the spectrum have difficulty navigating (causing anxiety.) It's also a place for sensory overload: lots of ambient noise, hard chairs, shared tables that vibrate when other people move, fluorescent lighting. The third issue (that parents usually manage by packing acceptable foods) is that the food itself can be a source of sensory problems and difficulty.

For the food, some parents have had success with OT or Speech therapy working with their children, some parents have chosen not to fight that particular battle and offer foods they are comfortable with, and some parents manage by slowly and very, very gradually helping them habituate to new foods.

The social stuff is harder; we're just now realizing that we are going to have to find a strategy for my son in middle school; there is no way he will be able to navigate the whole "click" table system. I think we're going to ask that he be the first one in the lunchroom starting out; that way he can invite kids he knows to join him and won't spend lunch wandering around instead of eating.

For noise, we've discovered that my son can manage pretty well with a set of noise-isolating earbuds as those are less obtrusive and have less social stigma than earmuffs. In general, once the social anxiety is managed, my son can manage the noise/sensory issues without accommodation.

We were very lucky in the autism teacher at my daughters school. The school new there was a problem right away, even though we didn't have a medical diagnosis. Her teacher was wonderful and really helped our daughter through one-on-one services and getting her into occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and social skills therapy. However I think the thing that helped her the most was the variety of programs. She not only recieved multiple services at school we also took her to private therapies and worked with her at home. I think the combination of working on the same things but with slightly different points of view helped her to learn because it wasn't just Mom and Dad telling her to look at them when she talked or whatever we were working on at the time.

One other therapy that seemed to really help her with her sensory issues was chiropractic care. Now I am the first to say I did not believe it would do anything. I have never supported this type of medical care, but the doctor had a piece of equipment that allowed her to show us how DD nerves were firing and how they should be firing. Then they would retest regularly and we could actually see the improvement. Of course this is not a silver bullet -there isn't one, but it really helped her for a number of years.

We also tried eliminating foods with any additives, coloring or preservatives from her diet. This made a measurable difference in her behavior. We could always tell if she had a hot dog or some other food item that wasn't on her restricted diet. Again, not a silver bullet and we eventually were able to wean her off this diet, but for about a year it made all the difference in the world for us.

I have never heard about using a chiropractor before. What is a DD nerve? I am happy to hear that you like your daughter's teacher. I have seen improvement in our students across all disabilities when we stick to the same agenda across the child's day as well. Thank you for your insight.

This forum has been the most receptive thus far with communicating to me. Our school is out for the summer, but I am already submitting this forum as a resource for our parents. (This forum wasn't even on the list provided by our graduate professor.) Every response thus far has helped me. Thank you for your insight.

LOL "DD" means "Dear Daughter". The food therapy is something usually used on very young children or older children (and I suppose even adults) with severe aversions to eating a variety of foods. It involves just playing with the food then working up to smelling it tasting it etc., my OT tried to get my son to finger paint with ketchup and mustard and dip carrot and cheese sticks into it with no expectation that he would actually eat any of the food. Many of the parents on Wrong Planet may seem more knowledgeable because a large percentage of us are on the spectrum ourselves.

Feeding therapy is used for children who go beyond normal picky eating to being "problem eaters" -- generally less than 20 foods accepted in the diet. These kids may literally starve themselves rather than eat non preferred foods. There are two very good books that describe the approach:

Just Take a Bite
Food Chaining

Unfortunately the techniques seem to be aimed at toddlers and preschoolers, and to work best for kids who just need to overcome an oral motor problem or sensory aversion. My DS6 simply refused to play even with food he eats every day. He could see that the aim was to trick him into eventually tasting new foods, and dug in his heels. I think he has very sensitive taste and smell, but the main problem is mental rigidity about food -- a single bad experience (ie choking on a peanut butter cracker) puts him off that food forever.