Finally got SSI, how do I actually manage it?

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Verdandi
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05 Jun 2012, 6:11 am

Most of the time I forget about online discussions when I'm not actively reading them. Including this one.

I've noticed sometimes people seem to assume that participation in a conversation means a deeper investment in that conversation well beyond the conversation itself than may actually be present.



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05 Jun 2012, 12:31 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


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05 Jun 2012, 12:38 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
How am I supposed to know what he thinks?


Based on his comments can you not deduce how he sees us? I think his language is pretty clear.


I am supposed to deduce an entire worldview from his comments?

I can see he says negative things about government support, but how am I supposed to extend that to "he sees us as worthless leeches?"

I don't disagree with your assessment, which seems logical, but when you ask "Can't you see this?" My answer is in the vicinity of "not without help."


Well his first comment in the thread looked more like an attempt to provoke people than give any helpful advice which is what the OP asked for. Followed by the continous sarcasm about it and how the Op now has governmen't benefits 'rolling' in trying to make it sound as though they are living some luxiourious life at the expense of the taxpayers which is utter BS. If that doesn't paint a picture of what he thinks of people who could benefit from or are on programs like SSI I am not sure what would.


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05 Jun 2012, 1:27 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online? Only good thing about the comment was it made me realize how much I appreciate my husband and love him so it was a good comment after all. :P

He said I was pretending my husband is disabled and I didn't care so defending him would be pointless since he has already made up his mind and I don't need to waste an hour of my time emailing the accuser about it. So not caring just saves me time because I can do other things than spending my time arguing with a person.

I am not sure how to explain it, I just don't really care what a person thinks. How is it going to effect me what some dude over in the UK thinks of my husband if he is never going to see us nor doesn't even know what we both look like? My husband also doesn't post online anymore and even if he did, that dude still wouldn't know his user names so no way would he go harassing him.


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05 Jun 2012, 1:35 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Most of the time I forget about online discussions when I'm not actively reading them. Including this one.

I've noticed sometimes people seem to assume that participation in a conversation means a deeper investment in that conversation well beyond the conversation itself than may actually be present.


I just remember a lot of what I read whether I'm invested in it or not. I shouldn't assume other people do too. The only thing I meant by my reply to you was that there is no point in being civil to someone or explaining your views when that person is going to turn around and spit in your face in reply. I didn't do a very good job of explaining that. Look again at his earlier reply to Jkid below. Here you have a guy who is struggling to make a relatively normal normal life for himself. Can you see Cavendish's reply as anything but nasty? I mean is telling someone to commit fraud really helpful advice? This kind of nastiness has been his standard operating procedure since he first started posting on this forum. There's no reason to be civil to him and he shouldn't even be on this forum to harass and demean people.



cavendish wrote:
Besides your SSI, you should be able to get free health insurance through Medicaid, as well as food stamps and subsidized housing. Don't worry. The government will take care of you, just as they do for the ever increasing millions of Americans who are dependent on taxpayer dollars for their livelihood. You will have so much free time on your hands, so why don't you work under the table? Something that you can do on your own and part-time, if that is your choice You should be able to bring in a couple hundred (or more) dollars per week.
The Washington , D.C area is one of the few places in the country where the economy is booming ,so you should be able to manage, perhaps not as well as you would desire, but surely much better than a lot of working folks beyond the Beltway. You've got your diagnosis, and now you have your government benefits rolling in, so just relax and enjoy your life.



Jkid wrote:
After months of trying to get my mom to get me to the local Social Security office, I had to go to the office myself. A helpful person there got my SSI benefits straightened out and I'm finally have some income rolling in for me. Not to mention I have a massive underpayment (over 2,700 dollars) on top of the $624 dollars per month I get from Social Security due to the fact that I have not worked in over a year.

Now the reason I get SSI in the past and currently is because of my autism, which mostly prevents me from getting any long-term employment.

The real problem is using the money, I want to find someplace to live in DC and managing my money for the long term.



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05 Jun 2012, 1:39 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online?


Would you see it differently if that person had made 70+ such comments on your blog?



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05 Jun 2012, 1:45 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online? Only good thing about the comment was it made me realize how much I appreciate my husband and love him so it was a good comment after all. :P

He said I was pretending my husband is disabled and I didn't care so defending him would be pointless since he has already made up his mind and I don't need to waste an hour of my time emailing the accuser about it. So not caring just saves me time because I can do other things than spending my time arguing with a person.

I am not sure how to explain it, I just don't really care what a person thinks. How is it going to effect me what some dude over in the UK thinks of my husband if he is never going to see us nor doesn't even know what we both look like? My husband also doesn't post online anymore and even if he did, that dude still wouldn't know his user names so no way would he go harassing him.


Well I guess when people say nasty things to me I get this physical feeling reaction, and ignoring it doesn't make it not exist its still there just the same...do you not get that?


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05 Jun 2012, 2:13 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:

Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online?


Would you see it differently if that person had made 70+ such comments on your blog?



Comments must be approved first. Besides it's only one person.


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05 Jun 2012, 2:14 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online? Only good thing about the comment was it made me realize how much I appreciate my husband and love him so it was a good comment after all. :P

He said I was pretending my husband is disabled and I didn't care so defending him would be pointless since he has already made up his mind and I don't need to waste an hour of my time emailing the accuser about it. So not caring just saves me time because I can do other things than spending my time arguing with a person.

I am not sure how to explain it, I just don't really care what a person thinks. How is it going to effect me what some dude over in the UK thinks of my husband if he is never going to see us nor doesn't even know what we both look like? My husband also doesn't post online anymore and even if he did, that dude still wouldn't know his user names so no way would he go harassing him.


Well I guess when people say nasty things to me I get this physical feeling reaction, and ignoring it doesn't make it not exist its still there just the same...do you not get that?



I think it's a fault you need to work on.


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Rascal77s
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05 Jun 2012, 2:29 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:

Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online?


Would you see it differently if that person had made 70+ such comments on your blog?



Comments must be approved first. Besides it's only one person.


My point was that this one person has made 70+ comments like this here. Obviously your blog is set to require approval to prevent people from doing exactly what Cavendish is doing on this forum. You approved that persons comment, would you have approved 69 more if their theme was the same? I'm guessing probably not.



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05 Jun 2012, 2:42 pm

League_Girl wrote:


I think it's a fault you need to work on.


I don't see how being human is a fault. I can't speak for sweetleaf but to me rolling over and ignoring people who s**t on others, especially while those others are struggling, is not the best solution.



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05 Jun 2012, 2:55 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online? Only good thing about the comment was it made me realize how much I appreciate my husband and love him so it was a good comment after all. :P

He said I was pretending my husband is disabled and I didn't care so defending him would be pointless since he has already made up his mind and I don't need to waste an hour of my time emailing the accuser about it. So not caring just saves me time because I can do other things than spending my time arguing with a person.

I am not sure how to explain it, I just don't really care what a person thinks. How is it going to effect me what some dude over in the UK thinks of my husband if he is never going to see us nor doesn't even know what we both look like? My husband also doesn't post online anymore and even if he did, that dude still wouldn't know his user names so no way would he go harassing him.


Well I guess when people say nasty things to me I get this physical feeling reaction, and ignoring it doesn't make it not exist its still there just the same...do you not get that?



I think it's a fault you need to work on.


Umm right then...I kind of figured it was a natural reaction to being hurt by people being nasty to me, so i take it you don't experiance that feeling than? Anyways the only way I can think to 'work on' that would be to find a drug that prevents me from having that physical reaction, so I guess I'll get on that then. 8)


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05 Jun 2012, 3:39 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:

Someone left me a mean comment about my husband on my blog and I just smiled and thought about responding but decided not to. Why should I care what some random stranger thinks online?


Would you see it differently if that person had made 70+ such comments on your blog?



Comments must be approved first. Besides it's only one person.


My point was that this one person has made 70+ comments like this here. Obviously your blog is set to require approval to prevent people from doing exactly what Cavendish is doing on this forum. You approved that persons comment, would you have approved 69 more if their theme was the same? I'm guessing probably not.



It depends on how it's said. If people are mean about it, I won't approve it and maybe I will approve another mean comment by that same person (if he does another one) just to show the whole world how dumb he is and that he can't even be bothered to read the whole blog first (50 posts is too much for him?). I would even respond to the mean comment for some drama and then all my viewers would have some entertainment to read if he responds back and I argue with him for a little bit. I might put some drama in my blog if I get any other mean comments and I feel like approving them to respond to them for the whole world to see. It would depend on my mood.


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05 Jun 2012, 3:45 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes it's better to not care what someone online thinks because then you will stress yourself out defending yourself and others and then you can't stop thinking about it. It's just too stressful. I find it better to not care what people think or else you will be living a stressful life.


How do you go about not caring? I mean people say its easier to not care......but it seems like none of them can explain how they go about not caring can you describe it? I can not care about myself or life or whatever but when it comes to people saying or doing hurtful things it still effects me.


It takes practice to develop skill in not giving a flying you-know-what



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05 Jun 2012, 3:47 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:


I think it's a fault you need to work on.


I don't see how being human is a fault. I can't speak for sweetleaf but to me rolling over and ignoring people who sh** on others, especially while those others are struggling, is not the best solution.




People all have opinions we don't like, we all have opinions other people don't like. We don't have to like everyone's opinion but the best we can do it not let it bother us.

I am sure there are people out there that think parents who leave their kids unattended at a bank in the toy area while they wait in line are using the play area as a baby sitter and are lazy parents and "breeders." Well what i think about that is, screw their opinion, I will just keep going to the bank and leave my son with the toys while I wait in line to get money out of the bank for laundry and if someone wants to judge me for it, go right ahead. I find that so much easier than keeping my son with me and have him fuss and scream and then not being able to be in the bank to get my money because I am caring too much about that someone may think I am a bad parent. besides wouldn't the point of the toy area be for kids to play in so they keep busy and not be bord and not have to run around? So if I were to see a negative comment about parents leaving their kids playing in the toy area while they wait in line, I won't let it bother me.

I do see negative comments all the time online about people on SSI, people on GA or welfare, parents, kids, pregnant women and most of them are ignorant or closed minded and I don't let them bother me. I don't have to like their opinions though. But being off Babycenter and off childree forums, I don't see much of it anymore.

So my point is if we care too much what people think, then we won't be able to live a calm life and not make our own choices we like and we would let their thoughts rule our lives telling us how to live and what choices to make because we are caring too much what someone would think. There are Murphy's Law everywhere and they pretty much exist in everything so no matter that choices we make, someone will always have a critical opinion about it so we shouldn't let it bother us and just do what we are happy with.


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05 Jun 2012, 4:59 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Rascal77s wrote:
League_Girl wrote:


I think it's a fault you need to work on.


I don't see how being human is a fault. I can't speak for sweetleaf but to me rolling over and ignoring people who sh** on others, especially while those others are struggling, is not the best solution.




People all have opinions we don't like, we all have opinions other people don't like. We don't have to like everyone's opinion but the best we can do it not let it bother us.

I am sure there are people out there that think parents who leave their kids unattended at a bank in the toy area while they wait in line are using the play area as a baby sitter and are lazy parents and "breeders." Well what i think about that is, screw their opinion, I will just keep going to the bank and leave my son with the toys while I wait in line to get money out of the bank for laundry and if someone wants to judge me for it, go right ahead. I find that so much easier than keeping my son with me and have him fuss and scream and then not being able to be in the bank to get my money because I am caring too much about that someone may think I am a bad parent. besides wouldn't the point of the toy area be for kids to play in so they keep busy and not be bord and not have to run around? So if I were to see a negative comment about parents leaving their kids playing in the toy area while they wait in line, I won't let it bother me.

I do see negative comments all the time online about people on SSI, people on GA or welfare, parents, kids, pregnant women and most of them are ignorant or closed minded and I don't let them bother me. I don't have to like their opinions though. But being off Babycenter and off childree forums, I don't see much of it anymore.

So my point is if we care too much what people think, then we won't be able to live a calm life and not make our own choices we like and we would let their thoughts rule our lives telling us how to live and what choices to make because we are caring too much what someone would think. There are Murphy's Law everywhere and they pretty much exist in everything so no matter that choices we make, someone will always have a critical opinion about it so we shouldn't let it bother us and just do what we are happy with.


There's a difference between expressing an opinion and coming to an autism forum to repeatedly belittle people with an opinion. The reason people with ASD have even the meager resources that are available to us is because some people with ASD and parents of people with ASD stood up and called BS on the kind of thinking cavendish and others like him promote. This isn't about opinion, it's about harassment.

For some of the users on WP this is one of the few place they have social contact and is their only source for help coping with problems. Why should they be made to feel worthless here and why should I ignore it?

I just find it hard to believe that you would not have cut cavendish off on your blog long ago if he were making the same comments.

Quote:
Why do you want SSI anyway? Don't you want to go out and be a productive citizen? Is Aspergers that disabling that one can get SSI from it?


Quote:
It's outrageous that people here expect the taxpayers to support them. America is still the greatest country in the world. Sure, come here every day and interact with others who may share things in common with you, but once you are back in the real world, be prepared to quit your complaining and get down to the serious business of life.


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When I see young people wanting to get diagnosed so as to get all types of benefits, that makes me very concerned as to what is really in their best long term interest.


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My approach will save the taxpayers a lot of money, since it will encourage and, yes, at times force the young people to lead productive lives rather than feel sorry for themselves for some diagnosis of theirs.


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We can't afford to waste the potential of our young people, and can't allow them to focus so much on getting a diagnosis, collect disability checks, and therefore not contribute to society.


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Waking up in the morning and telling oneself, "Let's get diagnosed with Aspergers, so I can get all these benefits" is simply not the proper way to live.


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Sure, some of the homeless are lazy bums, but at least many of them are middle aged and older. The younger people should be given some help, of course, but should be encouraged, and ,yes, if necessary, forced to get off their butts and become contributing members of society, and not have their goal be to qualify for government checks.


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Are you telling me that young people should receive government disability checks for the rest of their lives for mere (and probably temporary) social phobia? Is that what our society is coming to?


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Why should the taxpayers pay disability to you for (presumably) the rest of your life for conditions which are treatable? Just wait a few years and your PTSD should lessen as you gain maturity and life experience.


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I am in my fifties, and I thought that autism was for very legitimately serious cases, such as those who just sit there, not speaking, and are way out of touch with "reality" That surely doesn't apply to what seems to be the large majority of people here.


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Everyone wants to be a victim nowadays, so why not?


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I am sure if you asked, they would give you more diagnoses.


Quote:
redrobin62 wrote:
I have a triple diagnosis - Asperger's, Avoidance Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder. With my BPD I'm usually more in the down phase than up.


Quote:
How come that one in eight eight children are now supposed to have some type of autism? Do you really believe that? Can't you see that autism is rapidly becoming a growth industry, with big profits to be made by the pharmaceutical companies, and the medical and psychological professions? Do you really think they are going around diagnosing people just for altruistic reasons? People are beginning to wise up to the overdiagnosis of ADD and all those children being pumped up with Ritalin, and they soon will catch on to what's happening with autism.



Quote:
So, you have intense interests, and are socially awkward - big deal. Why is that a medical/psychological issue anyway? As for sensory issues, that may be a learning disability or a sensory integration problem. Why do you believe you should be included with the real serious problems, such as the 40% of the traditionally defined (at least when I was young) autistics who can't even speak?


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I Googled autism yesterday, and learned that 40% of serious, (legitimate?) cases with autism can't even speak. That is my image of folks with autism. I can sympathize with them, and not the people who can speak, read and write


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I assume that the large majority of people on this forum are native born, white middle class (or above) Americans, and of average to above average IQ.


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Why not quite your whining, and do whatever it takes to improve your life? Your way of thinking would not be tolerated in China, India, Singapore, Korea, or other places where people are eager to work hard, and find a better life for themselves.


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I am not saying that people with Aspergers don't have some problems, but why can't they get out there and work?


Quote:
Cornflake wrote:
Quote:
cavendish wrote:
We are discussing some very important and serious issues. What's the problem? Is that simply not allowed here?

The problem is that your posts have consistently been derisive and often ridicule the points made by others.


Quote:
My beliefs are so obvious and based on sheer common sense that only unusual minds can't understand


Quote:
I don't need to supply any statistics, since it's obvious common sense. Are actually you telling us that the large majority of people here are not native born white Americans of middle class (or above) background, and the majority here are not under forty? If you truly believe such, then it is you who has the burden of proof !



Cornflake wrote:
^^ This.

I think it's time to put up or shut up, cavendish - otherwise it just looks like you're trolling.


Quote:
Don't have to work the rest of your life. Sounds great


Too sleepy to do any more. You'd allow this on your blog?