How emotionally attractive are you?

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a bit confusing, but pretty nice all in all

Probably a 4, normally; I can scratch up to a 6 if I put effort into it.

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Last edited by smudge on 08 Jun 2012, 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

While there are qualities which are generally considered attractive I think personality is subjective enough that trying to give it a quantitative value is silly.

I'm quite a quiet person and people often think I'm cold but once I get to know somebody I'm very loving and caring. I suspect I'm a little bit weird from lack of experience but people don't notice I have Asperger's. I think most women would prefer a guy who's more outgoing but there are plenty who seem to like my qualities.

I'm sure I'm not 'that' cute, but I've been hit on by nearly every woman I've spent any time around. Whether they were married or not. And even most of the men.

Granted I don't get out enough. (so 'nearly every' might not be the hordes of ppl compared to average NT's number of acquaintances.)

But still it's pretty weird.

I turn down 99% of them (gently, I hope) probably because if it turned out good I'd just ruin it eventually. Not out of any superior character traits. Loss is worse than absence.

So perhaps it is an emotional attractiveness.

There's a newly wed sitting beside me right now as i type in pressing, full body-contact - from ankle to her breast (she moved her arm out of the way) up against me, in a room not nearly too full of ppl.

Talk about socially uncomfortable!
It's not even flattering.

Last edited by 1401b on 03 Jun 2012, 1:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I think around 4 to 6.

Don't you just hate it when people start posts but never follow up with it? Arrgghh!

Thats a pretty tough one. I would guess a 5. It really depends on the person and the connection. I'm very good one on one with having deep conversations, I'm a good listener and I can be very supportive if I want to. But I'm not going to readily take a persons sympathy or empatheize if I feel I cant. I dont get pulled in easily by someones whining and complaining.

Yep, culture is huge.

For the girls looking for a provider, strong unemotional type who just sorta gets stuff done, and isn't in touch with his feelings or whatever, I'd be reasonably attractive. But, if she's looking for someone she can get emotional support from, probably not so much. So culturally, I'd probably be attractive by like...1950s movie standards. I'm pretty alexithymic, too, so that probably brings my emotional attractiveness down to like 2/10 or something.

Hehehe

I personally would rate myself a 4. I'm pretty cold when I meet new people and tend not to have any attachment to them until one day, CAPPOW!! Obsession. I also see to have an unusual view of how a relationship should be emotionally.

Maybe how you innately are emotionally is probably more of a personality trait than anything. Emotional attractiveness isn't only influenced by personality but also by experiences (past relationship baggage, self worth, things that shaped your general feelings towards the opposite sex). Things like maturity and emotional stability come into play as well.

I see so many posts around here fixating on the notion that looks is the sole thing people pay attention to when looking for a date. In my own case it's simply not true, I pay attention to how they are personality wise, mentally and emotionally over everything.

There's a third thing women want :p



That was when I had a shred of a personality left.

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Last edited by smudge on 08 Jun 2012, 7:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Probably not very. I have a hard time doing the reciprocal emotional thing (I have so much trouble navigating my own emotions that I spend too much time on that and forget about the other person) and I hide a lot of my anxiety through humor.

That's a good thing though. I think. Not the anxiety but handling it.

Thank you, that's really wonderful to hear! Sometimes I can be a little inappropriate with my humor, but it's a coping thing. Humor is really important to me.