For guys who are having zero replies on okcupid....

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smudge
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05 Jul 2012, 2:00 pm

MXH wrote:
then again, id much rather be objectified and sexualized than being displayed as some easily manipulated idiot who cant do anything without the help of his wife (which is how social media depicts men to try and make women seem stronger)


I haven't read the last two pages.

To answer this though - being objectified and sexualised makes you out to be an easily manipulated idiot as well. i.e. An easy lay. What makes it worse, is that some men (or a lot in some cultures) thinks it gives them a right to sexually abuse a woman.



MXH
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05 Jul 2012, 2:29 pm

smudge wrote:
MXH wrote:
then again, id much rather be objectified and sexualized than being displayed as some easily manipulated idiot who cant do anything without the help of his wife (which is how social media depicts men to try and make women seem stronger)


I haven't read the last two pages.

To answer this though - being objectified and sexualised makes you out to be an easily manipulated idiot as well. i.e. An easy lay. What makes it worse, is that some men (or a lot in some cultures) thinks it gives them a right to sexually abuse a woman.


Someone who will sexually abuse a woman, kid or man will do it no matter if something gave them the perceived right. Chances are they will look for something to give them that "percieved right". and it could be down to toothpaste for all they would care.

But thats not to say that the stereotypical dumb guy whos only interested in sex isnt a sexualized display.



BlueMax
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05 Jul 2012, 5:03 pm

MXH wrote:
But thats not to say that the stereotypical dumb guy whos only interested in sex isnt a sexualized display.

Hard to believe but there's LOTS of women out there perfectly happy with that kind of guy... "Fun to be with for a night, hot body and good sex - but I'd never marry him." You know - the type my ex cheated on me with. :evil:



MXH
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05 Jul 2012, 7:40 pm

BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
But thats not to say that the stereotypical dumb guy whos only interested in sex isnt a sexualized display.

Hard to believe but there's LOTS of women out there perfectly happy with that kind of guy... "Fun to be with for a night, hot body and good sex - but I'd never marry him." You know - the type my ex cheated on me with. :evil:

not what i meant. I meant how media portrays men to be interested in simply sex. Thus making men to be sexualized cavemen.



BlueMax
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05 Jul 2012, 8:21 pm

MXH wrote:
not what i meant. I meant how media portrays men to be interested in simply sex. Thus making men to be sexualized cavemen.

True... but that's because so many really do exist. Heck I was one ~20 years ago. :oops:
Also true is there's plenty of women (more than would admit) that are perfectly fine with that because "women have needs too" (the excuse given when cheating on their husbands.)


... but I'm not bitter. No sir. Uh-uh... not me. ;)



hyperlexian
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06 Jul 2012, 2:02 am

i think men and women are often sexual creatures, and many people respond to seeing sexy pictures in a prospective mate. when i was messaging men on dating sites (and also getting messages from men) i didn't message anyone who was shirtless or anything (nor did i reply to messages from shirtless men). but i don't think that my tendency is necessarily common by default.

i think i would technically be considered demisexual (?) because i like to get to know someone before i find them sexually attractive. on some occasions i even interacted with men who didn't have any picture up at all (though only if the rest of the profile was filled in), because for me attraction builds from interaction with a person.

HOWEVER, i understand how lots of women would love to message a guy with a shirtless picture, and i don't see a problem with that. women can be visual in their attraction, just like some men are.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Jul 2012, 5:00 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
just like i filter out girls making duck faces or myspace angles/poses and that sort of thing.


GRRRAAHH!! ! Duckface rage!! :twisted:

stupiddumbrottenduckfacezargbargfargadingdonggrumblemutter

yea, except guys that show off their bodies usually do it because they have something worth showing off. Duckfaces and angles and poses are usually those who dont have trying to look better

Hehehe. I would filter out females with pics deliberately showing off their cleavage as well, or their abs, though it is rare to see that. What would be the equivalent to a topless pic, for a female? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'd filter it as well.

But then I'm happy being as picky as I am.


deoends on what means equivalent. Many, and by many id say a majority, of females i have seen on dating sites have atleast 1 pictures where their boobs are the focus point of the picture. But you cant compare that to a guys shirtless pic as the guy is showing everything off, not just distracting with focus. Im guessing bikini/underwear shot is the female version of shirtless guy.

i generally avoid duckfaces, weird angles/poses, etc. They portray a personality which disgusts me, so its not even worth opening their profiles.

Portray a personality, yes, I get the same vibe from shirtless pics. They may feel they are simply showing off something they worked hard to achieve, but to me they are portraying a personality which turns me off. I wouldn't say it disgusts me in each case but sometimes it does, when it is a blatant posing "abs shot".

I've got this pic on my profile where I'm standing in front of a mountain and the caption says that I just climbed it. Am I simply showing off something I have achieved, or am I portraying a personality of nature-lover/loves exercise/outdoorsy? I'd say the latter. I've got another one where I'm posing with my exotic pet. I don't expect people to just see that and think that I own an exotic pet. I would expect them to judge me, to think I'm maybe a bit quirky or different. And so with a shirtless pic. If I was a guy posting that I wouldn't expect women to see it and just think that I worked hard to achieve that, I would expect them to think I'm the kind of guy who likes to show off my body, that physical appearance is important, that I'm shallow, something like that. So I'd think carefully before posting it.

Oh, and yeah I'd definitely ignore a chick with a bikini shot as her main pic.


Did I disgust you? ;)



yellowtamarin
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06 Jul 2012, 11:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
just like i filter out girls making duck faces or myspace angles/poses and that sort of thing.


GRRRAAHH!! ! Duckface rage!! :twisted:

stupiddumbrottenduckfacezargbargfargadingdonggrumblemutter

yea, except guys that show off their bodies usually do it because they have something worth showing off. Duckfaces and angles and poses are usually those who dont have trying to look better

Hehehe. I would filter out females with pics deliberately showing off their cleavage as well, or their abs, though it is rare to see that. What would be the equivalent to a topless pic, for a female? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'd filter it as well.

But then I'm happy being as picky as I am.


deoends on what means equivalent. Many, and by many id say a majority, of females i have seen on dating sites have atleast 1 pictures where their boobs are the focus point of the picture. But you cant compare that to a guys shirtless pic as the guy is showing everything off, not just distracting with focus. Im guessing bikini/underwear shot is the female version of shirtless guy.

i generally avoid duckfaces, weird angles/poses, etc. They portray a personality which disgusts me, so its not even worth opening their profiles.

Portray a personality, yes, I get the same vibe from shirtless pics. They may feel they are simply showing off something they worked hard to achieve, but to me they are portraying a personality which turns me off. I wouldn't say it disgusts me in each case but sometimes it does, when it is a blatant posing "abs shot".

I've got this pic on my profile where I'm standing in front of a mountain and the caption says that I just climbed it. Am I simply showing off something I have achieved, or am I portraying a personality of nature-lover/loves exercise/outdoorsy? I'd say the latter. I've got another one where I'm posing with my exotic pet. I don't expect people to just see that and think that I own an exotic pet. I would expect them to judge me, to think I'm maybe a bit quirky or different. And so with a shirtless pic. If I was a guy posting that I wouldn't expect women to see it and just think that I worked hard to achieve that, I would expect them to think I'm the kind of guy who likes to show off my body, that physical appearance is important, that I'm shallow, something like that. So I'd think carefully before posting it.

Oh, and yeah I'd definitely ignore a chick with a bikini shot as her main pic.


Did I disgust you? ;)

Yours actually isn't the type that would disgust me: you are not standing in front of a mirror holding the phone in front of you, and posing with a serious expression like this is really important stuff. If that was your secondary, rather than your primary, pic, I'd probably have no issues at all with replying to your message.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jul 2012, 3:41 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
just like i filter out girls making duck faces or myspace angles/poses and that sort of thing.


GRRRAAHH!! ! Duckface rage!! :twisted:

stupiddumbrottenduckfacezargbargfargadingdonggrumblemutter

yea, except guys that show off their bodies usually do it because they have something worth showing off. Duckfaces and angles and poses are usually those who dont have trying to look better

Hehehe. I would filter out females with pics deliberately showing off their cleavage as well, or their abs, though it is rare to see that. What would be the equivalent to a topless pic, for a female? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'd filter it as well.

But then I'm happy being as picky as I am.


deoends on what means equivalent. Many, and by many id say a majority, of females i have seen on dating sites have atleast 1 pictures where their boobs are the focus point of the picture. But you cant compare that to a guys shirtless pic as the guy is showing everything off, not just distracting with focus. Im guessing bikini/underwear shot is the female version of shirtless guy.

i generally avoid duckfaces, weird angles/poses, etc. They portray a personality which disgusts me, so its not even worth opening their profiles.

Portray a personality, yes, I get the same vibe from shirtless pics. They may feel they are simply showing off something they worked hard to achieve, but to me they are portraying a personality which turns me off. I wouldn't say it disgusts me in each case but sometimes it does, when it is a blatant posing "abs shot".

I've got this pic on my profile where I'm standing in front of a mountain and the caption says that I just climbed it. Am I simply showing off something I have achieved, or am I portraying a personality of nature-lover/loves exercise/outdoorsy? I'd say the latter. I've got another one where I'm posing with my exotic pet. I don't expect people to just see that and think that I own an exotic pet. I would expect them to judge me, to think I'm maybe a bit quirky or different. And so with a shirtless pic. If I was a guy posting that I wouldn't expect women to see it and just think that I worked hard to achieve that, I would expect them to think I'm the kind of guy who likes to show off my body, that physical appearance is important, that I'm shallow, something like that. So I'd think carefully before posting it.

Oh, and yeah I'd definitely ignore a chick with a bikini shot as her main pic.


Did I disgust you? ;)

Yours actually isn't the type that would disgust me: you are not standing in front of a mirror holding the phone in front of you, and posing with a serious expression like this is really important stuff. If that was your secondary, rather than your primary, pic, I'd probably have no issues at all with replying to your message.


You didn't reply there because you didn't want to lose the bet :lol:.

yet you didn't ignore me elsewhere ;).



yellowtamarin
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07 Jul 2012, 3:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
just like i filter out girls making duck faces or myspace angles/poses and that sort of thing.


GRRRAAHH!! ! Duckface rage!! :twisted:

stupiddumbrottenduckfacezargbargfargadingdonggrumblemutter

yea, except guys that show off their bodies usually do it because they have something worth showing off. Duckfaces and angles and poses are usually those who dont have trying to look better

Hehehe. I would filter out females with pics deliberately showing off their cleavage as well, or their abs, though it is rare to see that. What would be the equivalent to a topless pic, for a female? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'd filter it as well.

But then I'm happy being as picky as I am.


deoends on what means equivalent. Many, and by many id say a majority, of females i have seen on dating sites have atleast 1 pictures where their boobs are the focus point of the picture. But you cant compare that to a guys shirtless pic as the guy is showing everything off, not just distracting with focus. Im guessing bikini/underwear shot is the female version of shirtless guy.

i generally avoid duckfaces, weird angles/poses, etc. They portray a personality which disgusts me, so its not even worth opening their profiles.

Portray a personality, yes, I get the same vibe from shirtless pics. They may feel they are simply showing off something they worked hard to achieve, but to me they are portraying a personality which turns me off. I wouldn't say it disgusts me in each case but sometimes it does, when it is a blatant posing "abs shot".

I've got this pic on my profile where I'm standing in front of a mountain and the caption says that I just climbed it. Am I simply showing off something I have achieved, or am I portraying a personality of nature-lover/loves exercise/outdoorsy? I'd say the latter. I've got another one where I'm posing with my exotic pet. I don't expect people to just see that and think that I own an exotic pet. I would expect them to judge me, to think I'm maybe a bit quirky or different. And so with a shirtless pic. If I was a guy posting that I wouldn't expect women to see it and just think that I worked hard to achieve that, I would expect them to think I'm the kind of guy who likes to show off my body, that physical appearance is important, that I'm shallow, something like that. So I'd think carefully before posting it.

Oh, and yeah I'd definitely ignore a chick with a bikini shot as her main pic.


Did I disgust you? ;)

Yours actually isn't the type that would disgust me: you are not standing in front of a mirror holding the phone in front of you, and posing with a serious expression like this is really important stuff. If that was your secondary, rather than your primary, pic, I'd probably have no issues at all with replying to your message.


You didn't reply there because you didn't want to lose the bet :lol:.

yet you didn't ignore me elsewhere ;).

Hah, I meant if I didn't already know you from here. I was just being deliberately annoying by not replying, no other reason :D