Surviving without friends

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Here is an article I came across and would be interested to hear your views about it regarding being friendless and surviving without friends. An interesting read.
Any feedback most welcome.

http://knowledgering.com/answers/health ... ut-friends

Thanks for the link. It was an interesting article. I have pretty much been in that situation all of my adult life. As for not changing just to conform to other's expectations, I mostly agree with that, too. The exceptions are when someone is abusive, either of others or themselves, or has a toxic personality. People who are willfully abusive or toxic, should try to change their behavior.

Interesting article. Essentially reflected the kind of dialogue i have with myself for past year and a half. But to be honest it is very easy to say that "i am fine alone". People come in and out of your life whether we want them to or not and you have to interact with them.

I have been not had friends all my life. On a daily basis i do not crave companionship as much as i see others do, but i do not like the fact that i dont belong any where. I think having friends is having a place to belong. Even if it is one person.

For me the article is more like the fox and the sour grapes story. You cant have it, so you say you really dont need it.

Interesting article, thanks for the link. When I was in grade school and high school, I noticed I had tons of friends when something artistic and/or musical needed to be done. I always wondered what was so awful about me that at all other times, I was a pariah (When Janis Ian's song "At Seventeen" came out, the line, "To those whose names were never called/When choosing sides for basketball" really resonated with me, and still does, almost fifty years later). I survived by having Friends In My Head; I wrote science fiction stories, all set in the same universe. That led to finding science fiction fandom, which at that time was pretty much Aspies Only though there wasn't the diagnosis then, and then I made some really wonderful friends--and found my husband to boot!

there is a lady at my workplace everyone avoids her she is bitterly negative
talking depressive negative things always
i notice even i am very serious talker and sometimes depressive too
its hard to get people around like me
so i guess no one wants to hang around me

I think there is definitely some truth to this article. You shouldn't think less of yourself just because you don't have any friends but still try to enjoy your life.

It is hard for me to live up to this aim though because I don't really like doing everything on my own. Either at a concert or at the cinema, in an exhibition or in any public place, you are always surrounded by couples, friends, families etc. I feel uncomfortable being the only single person around. I know I shouldn't mind, but I do.

It is also hurtful to like someone and think you have some things in common but finally to realize that the person doesn't like you back, doesn't see your positive qualities and there is nothing you can really do about it.

If you have yourself, why do you need friends?
All people do is make you feel worse about yourself.
Also,you constantly have to worry about losing them.
You may get judged for not have friends,
But it is not as bad as wasting your time with someone who is going to hurt you.

The article reflected on my current status. I have not had any friends for the last 3 years and after these 3 years I have now accepted the isolation that is offered. I would now rather be alone then have a friend to talk too. I deal with this by going to the library every lunchtime to do some of my own schoolwork. I can not stay isolated forever through and thankfully I only have around 10 years left on this planet anyhow. Just enough to cram some enjoyment into my life before my body rots. Better then living another 50 or so years of my life in misery.

It is one thing to say "life is fine without friends" and another to live out your life and be happy that way. I don't know if I can be happy being alone all the time, I know I'm not now. I try to fill every second with doing stuff, even if it's just surfing the internet because when I'm alone with my thoughts, it inevitably always comes back to my deep loneliness. I wish I had someone to go to movie tonight with me, or make dinner with, or go to the zoo. I can do all those things alone but it just isn't the same.

Friends are pretty practical to have, they help you out a lot. Like when my friends clean house or whatever, have an old stereo lying around they don't want, I get it. Rides, someone to help you move, work on your cars, all that stuff, good for having friends around. That's not from even the company and emotional support or whatever angle, but just practicality, it's good to have friends. I don't know, I'm lucky in that I manage to make friends relatively easy (keeping them is harder) but my main problem isn't individual friends, it's having a group of people to belong to, that I've still not figured out how to do successfully or in a sustainable way.

I think for me, though, I fit the "outgoing but odd" group of NVLDers/Aspies.