Do you find the interests/conversations of others boring?

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I just do it out of habit (no stalker).



I notice in cafes, libraries, public transport when people are talking amongst themselves, its always about the same stuff= other people. I always find people are talking endlessly about other people. So and so in a relationship, their friends lives, what other people are doing, what someone posted on their facebook wall(usually about some other person), or the classic "did you hear about XXXX doing .....". Every single time, no matter where or when, the conversations you overhear from complete strangers are about other people. Why is this? I find talking about other peoples problems immensely boring and I try to change the subject instantly. If I'm in a big group and the conversation invariably turns to people, I stand off on the side awkwardly, bored to death.

Why doesnt anyone ever talk about ideas? Interesting things? Just once I'd love to hear someone on a bus/at a party/in a library talking about something interesting that doesnt bore me to tears, like the lives of others. I find this to be a serious obstacle to making a lot of friends as I cannot talk about other people, parties, relationships etc without my brain switching off and going onto autopilot. My interests - namely 20th century philosophy, technology, science, metaphysics, theology, transhumanism, futurism....and I can count on one hand the amount of times I've talked about them with someone outside the internet, and all of those have been with my brother.

Most other peoples interests- other people, parties, drinking, column mags, tv shows/movies/ relationships, ex boyfriends girlfriends etc.

Is this incongruency of interests and conversational topics typical of aspies? Is this why people describe them as 'boring' and we often use words like 'illiterate troglodyte' to describe them?

Hmm, I read the title and thought it was about people I was talking to, and was thinking "Yes, I get bored of a conversation easily."

But, strangely enough, when it's strangers on a bus, I like to listen in (if it wouldn't appear rude), and am interested much like a paleontologist is interested when discovering a new dinosaur bone. It's as if I get a look into normal life and what other people think about.

Anyways, to answer your question, yes, it's probably because they are not talking about our interests.

We are also generally bad at small talk, which also includes asking someone how they've been, talking about relationships, parties, other people, etc.

I've never heard us called "illiterate troglodytes", though. And we are far from boring... But I'm sure our conversations with others can be if they are not as interested in our interests as we are.

woops wasnt clear in the post, I meant describing normies as illiterate troglodytes.

I dont find NT conversations and interest boring at all, merely that if I cannot relate them to my own Special Interests or be able to relate stuff to them (i.e. relating a conversation as it compares to network security for instance), then they dont get my attention. Certainly however, I have encountered a variety of NTs that are vastly more intelligent than I am, and by no means would I attach the label Illiterate Trog to them, there are always varying degrees of intelligence, not that applying a singular label is a good thing.

NTs are very big into talking about people and what people are doing--themselves, each other, family/friends, celebrities, etc. This is partly a social bonding issue, and partly just plain GOSSIP!

And yes, I find it excrusiatingly boring, outside of family matters. I can relate to family matters, as I am family, for all that I am a hermit. However, I have no real interest in gossip about strangers, including, and especially celebrities. Also, celebrities puzzle me on this. On the one hand they want to be famous, on the other hand they don't want to be too much in the public eye. I realize everyone is entitled to some privacy, but celebrities act so nutty in public at times, and then get mad when the press and public are all over them. They should just stop acting nutty in public. There are some celebrities who do have more sense, and they do have more privacy because of it.

Another part of this is soap operas. NTs obsession and conversations about them are a type of gossipy type behavior, but about fictional people. I absolutely loathe soap operas. I had to listen to them as a small child, as my mother watched them for many years, but I never liked them. I also had some friends who were into them, before I moved out of state. I lost contact with the friends, but still remember them with fondness. I don't have any fondness for the soaps they liked to watch, though. This was a husband and wife couple, and I always found it odd that he as well as his wife, was into those programs. Perhaps it was a cultural thing. They were both from India. They were very nice people, and I enjoyed hanging out with them, except for the soaps. I met one of their sons a few times, too. He was here to attend college, and he seemed as nice as his parents.

I really don't understand the NT obsession with gossipy stuff, and soap operas. My own life has been enough of a soap opera, without wallowing in the drama of other lives, real and fictional.

While I don't share all of your interests, I do understand, and approve of them, as opposed to the vapid gossip of NTs. Your interests are brain work types of interest. I am not a real brainy type and my interests are more general, but at least I'm not into gossip. I also am not into those so called talent shows. I only watch on the rare occasions when relatives send me a link to an especially good segment that they think I might find entertaining. Mostly that's been magic routines, and some good dance routines, but they also sent me Susan Boyle's big "coming out" performance. She was magnificent. Also, based on stuff I read about her, I believe she may be one of us.

If anyone ever figures out how to cure the NTs of their gossip obsession, post it here at WP.

I don't know....when I hear people talk it ain't always about other people all the time. I was sitting near a group of teenagers in McDonald's today, and they were talking about what subjects they liked and disliked in school and what results they got in their exams. Then at the bus station I heard two older women talking about buses. In fact the whole duration I was waiting there they were talking non-stop about which goes bus where and what town they could get a certain bus to and so on. But when I do hear people talking about other people, it's always about someone they know being in hospital. Also the words ''sister-in-law'' is always mentioned, like everybody has a sister-in-law. Or they talk about babies they know that always seem to be coming up for one.

You may be familiar with the following quote:

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people". I'm not sure whether Ayn Rand or Eleanor Roosevelt quipped it.

At the risk of sounding incredibly arrogant/elitist, I think IQ/general intelligence might factor in here also. I remember someone telling me about a study they had read about when I made a thread about space or the universe or something on another forum, asking me about my IQ because apparently studies have found that only individuals way up there on the IQ scales ever really think deeply about philosophy/existential questions/cosmology/science etc. It's just a tragic fact that 99% of people are imprisoned in a tiny little world of gossip, and you become ever so frustrated at not having anyone to discuss your favourite topics with, essentially your brain never gets any exercise.

I have also managed to buck the aspie status quo and go on a few dates with girls, but they have always been horribly boring-all they talk about are gossipy subjects! I sat there dying on the inside just praying for it to end. Likewise with any gathering with a significant number of friends, the topics always drift to banal talk about the recent parties/nightclubs/whos going out with who etc.

I've read quite a bit that higher intelligence can be a curse due to the fact the things you find interesting naturally have a much smaller subset of the population interested in them, and lets not pretend as if the greatest geniuses didnt appear a bit odd or socially awkward to the average person. You just have a much harder time finding someone you click with due to the numbers involved, whereas if you were more 'average' both in terms of intelligence and social skills, the law of averages would by fiat be working in your favor.

Do you see any way around this obstacle of finding normies just relentlessly boring? I've tried the "just pretend to be like them and go with the flow" but believe me, it does not work!

I find conversations about people's lives to be very boring. When I'm listening to other people, I find that my mind begins to wander and I don't hear half of what they're saying. Although, I don't mind listening to other people talk about their interests - I think other people's hobbies and obsessions are fascinating; that's why I'm a fan of shows like My Crazy Obsession and My Strange Addiction.

I talk about mundane things too, because I don't know much about anything else really. Well I don't even know much about general knowledge, which is a pain in the arse because that looks like I don't know anything about anything, but I know more about general knowledge than I do logical facts, which is why I didn't want to stay on and study at college. Instead I wanted to get out in the employment world and be part of a team and do physical tasks that I get paid to do.

It depends what they're talking about, and how much I can relate to it. I do have the tendency to redirect the conversation to my interests, though.

People are interesting to me but what I'd like to get out of a conversation differs from the 'norm' for casual interaction.
For example, if people feel like pointing out that so-and-so has broken up their relationship and they're now into this-other-person, I like to work out the mechanics. What went on in that interaction leading up to the breakup, what might so-and-so be hoping to find different in this new situation, etc.

I suppose my main 'obsession' has always been how stuff works. I like figuring out why things might be the way they are (and how they could be different/better).

This 'unusual' focus still makes interaction difficult though, as I'm constantly asking the 'wrong' questions, according to those who do not share this interest of mine. Some people consider me a good and objective listener because of it though, which is kinda nice..

....

Mmmmm.... actually now I'm thinking that this is really a coping mechanism. Yes, you are right. People talking about people are intensely boring. Me finding something vaguely interesting in the conversation is how I am able to maintain the 'look at me being socially acceptable'. Hrmz.
Thanks for pointing that out, that's one energy leak I'll be more aware of from now on

What do you think is going on in my case? If an aspie likes to listen in and deconstruct what normal people say about relationships etc like a watchmaker, what about someone who is just instantly bored to death whenever the conversation turns to people and their problems?