A few phrases I use a lot that seem to work are.
I see
or
Indeed – It sounds affirmative but non-committal.
That’s what they say. – For when someone says something you disagree with but you don’t want to argue.
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"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes
I do not want to talk, I'm just wondering about some SMALL things or phrases that would be nice to say to collegues.
I thought of classes of people such as:
- colleagues women (from my dept). this could be possibly divided by age groups also.
- colleagues men (from my dept). this could be possibly divided by age groups also.
- colleagues from other depts that I just need to greet in coffee-points and such.
- bosses (of different levels)
I think that if I will say something to a woman who sits next to me during the day, that would be nice. But I do not want long conversations & people asking me things. Right now we just sit close to each other and do not talk at all.
I'm afraid that people will not know that I am friendly and that I have good intentions if I don't talk to them at all.
I am between 30 and 35. My job is to write different types of reports & systemize data, etc.
Your original post was too vague, but your follow up post seems to indicate you are looking for tips on small talk, so here goes.
- Current events both in the news, and around the office.
- Latest disaster in the news. Lots of people talk about those.
- Sports
- Compliment someone on hair, clothes, work, etc.
- Ask about their families and kids, but only if you want a long spiel. And remember, if they are having family troubles, this could turn into an emotional dumping session, with you on the receiving end.
- Talk about travel to places they have been to, or may be planning on visiting.
- Cooking and recipes, if you like such things.
- Music, but remember we don't all like the same kinds.
- TV/movies/plays
- Books
- College/university/vocational school/online courses, if you/ they are taking any courses.
- Gardening, if you are into that.
- Car talk--mostly with guys.
Here are several topics to avoid, if at all possible, as they generate too much heat.
- Politics
- Religion
- Health--do you really want to know all the grisly details about their operation? If they bring up a health problem, just say you are sorry they haven't been feeling well, and hope they get better, soon. That last part should be left out if it's a terminal disease.
- Environment--Everyone is for the environment, but not we don't all agree on the problems and solutions, and this can become a heated discussion.
- Family, if the person is the sort to carry on about their family problems.
I'm sure I left some stuff out, but I put down all I could think of.
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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
I say, "how was your weekend?" And then listen. A big issue I have is if someone asks me first, I talk for five minutes about what I did with my kids over the weekend and never ask how their weekend was. So I ask first. Unfortunately now I think I'm just spamming it. When it is after Wednesday instead of asking "how was your weekend?" I ask "What do you have planned for the weekend?" If people have kids, I ask about the kids and then try to remember to not talk about my kids for 15 minutes. I'm obsessed with my kids so I can't shut up about them.
Otherwise I try to stay upbeat. I don't join in a lot of conversations. I'm an atheist and a stark raving liberal so I don't fit in at all anyway. Overall its a fairly religious and conservative group of people.
Thanks. Especially for the sample dialogs.
I've recently read this
http://www.nvcc.edu/home/npeck/Handouts ... levels.htm
now I think that maybe I need this Phatic Communication.
Small Talk is the next level as I see.