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kaaala
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14 Jun 2012, 5:49 pm

Hi, my daughter is graduating and is absolutely dreading the rehearsal because she didn't make any friends in her senior class. She has a friend or two that are in the sophomore class. I was told it will be pretty structured, but...who really knows and it lasst a long time. She doesn't want to feel left out and bad, feelings that she unfortunately has had to endure her entire school career.
She is not sure if she should just get her diploma in the mail and not go through with the ceremony. We will let her decide.
Any thoughts.



OliveOilMom
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14 Jun 2012, 7:32 pm

My oldest daughter graduated last month, and it was a huge deal to her. She was popular though and enjoyed school. Her entire senior year was important to her and she kept a scrap book.

One thing to remember. At the graduation ceremony all the kids get sentemental. At her graduation, I saw kids who couldn't stand each other hugging or shaking hands, etc. They get all overcome by emotion and forget how much they hated it.

I'd honestly urge her to go. I hated high school too and was not popular, but at times like that it's all forgotten and boo hoo's and hugs etc.


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14 Jun 2012, 11:50 pm

kaaala wrote:
Hi, my daughter is graduating and is absolutely dreading the rehearsal because she didn't make any friends in her senior class. She has a friend or two that are in the sophomore class. I was told it will be pretty structured, but...who really knows and it lasst a long time. She doesn't want to feel left out and bad, feelings that she unfortunately has had to endure her entire school career.
She is not sure if she should just get her diploma in the mail and not go through with the ceremony. We will let her decide.
Any thoughts.


Well wish her the best of luck an just in case have her pair up with someone on the spot.

If for those reasons it's too much for her it would probably be best to get in the mail. My graduation is next year and my school would have graduates walk in pairs. And I don't know much people from my grade.

Either way , best wishes

-NorthPark


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NorthPark
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14 Jun 2012, 11:51 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
My oldest daughter graduated last month, and it was a huge deal to her. She was popular though and enjoyed school. Her entire senior year was important to her and she kept a scrap book.

One thing to remember. At the graduation ceremony all the kids get sentemental. At her graduation, I saw kids who couldn't stand each other hugging or shaking hands, etc. They get all overcome by emotion and forget how much they hated it.

I'd honestly urge her to go. I hated high school too and was not popular, but at times like that it's all forgotten and boo hoo's and hugs etc.


Is your daughter AS or NT? Just curious :?:


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15 Jun 2012, 12:50 am

Best to let her make her own choice on attending. I didn't even want to attend my 8th grade graduation, and hated the experience, but was under a lot of pressure to attend. Also, I did feel I owed my parents that one, but I made it clear to them even then, that I would not do the high school one. When I finished high school I did skip the ceremony, and just went in to the school office on another day to pick up my diploma. I don't like being "on stage", and the center of that kind of attention, so I avoid such situations.


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Albirea
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15 Jun 2012, 1:03 am

Congratulations to her!

I think she should attend her graduation. I just graduated from high school earlier this month, and it was pretty structured. Everyone had an assigned seat, and names were called alphabetically for the students to receive their diplomas. So really, if she is not making a speech at the ceremony, I don't see any reason for her not to go.


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OliveOilMom
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15 Jun 2012, 10:17 am

NorthPark wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
My oldest daughter graduated last month, and it was a huge deal to her. She was popular though and enjoyed school. Her entire senior year was important to her and she kept a scrap book.

One thing to remember. At the graduation ceremony all the kids get sentemental. At her graduation, I saw kids who couldn't stand each other hugging or shaking hands, etc. They get all overcome by emotion and forget how much they hated it.

I'd honestly urge her to go. I hated high school too and was not popular, but at times like that it's all forgotten and boo hoo's and hugs etc.


Is your daughter AS or NT? Just curious :?:


All my kids, and my husband are NT. I'm the aspie in the family.

ETA; That doesn't mean an aspie can't be popular. There is a boy in their group of friends who is AS. He was pretty popular. He's several years older and one of my older son's friends, but my daughters fiance is my oldest son's age so he's the fiance's friend too. Now that he's married and all he doesn't hang out with the other kids much anymore. Only with more of the older married couples. I talk to his wife sometimes on FB.


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jamieevren1210
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15 Jun 2012, 11:46 am

Just graduated from middle school today.( middle school or junior high here is g7-g9) pretty nice. She should go. Look, I even sort of enjoyed the prom/dinner party! :D


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cammyyy
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22 Jun 2012, 11:52 pm

I disliked most of my classmates so I didn't waste my time with graduation.



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25 Jun 2012, 11:17 pm

You only graduate high school once.

Go to the graduation. For pete's sake, it's only a few hours, and you (well, she) would regret not going.

Not everyone has friends at high school. That doesn't mean you're friendless... you just don't have friends your age.

It's a life milestone, and sitting home staring at the wall while you get your diploma in the mail means missing out on a special occasion in life.
It's something to celebrate. You earned a diploma... why not commemorate it with everyone else?

Yes, it may be awkward to go to a reception alone... but, so? That's life. Go to the graduation ceremony itself, skip some events, and move on with life. It's just a high school graduation ceremony to sit through... not a lobotomy. Celebrate your achievements... who cares if you're the only person alone. (Though, you won't be... tons of people don't have friends their age in high school.) It's not like you'll see your high school classmates much anymore, if not ever again. Who cares what they think? Go to the frickin' graduation and move on with life.



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25 Jun 2012, 11:23 pm

And, high school students who are graduating get all sappy. A stranger can be your new BFF. People usually are polite to others, if not nice.

Not having friends at a high school graduation is trivial. Not having friends in life is sad, but graduations are structured enough that it's no big deal, and... like I said... everyone gets all sappy and sentimental and friendly with each other.

Go to the graduation. Enjoy it. Let your family commemorate the graduation with me.

I would make my child go to graduation. Period. It's a big milestone, and a few hours of discomfort really isn't that big a deal in the end.
I hate stages, but bet your bottom dollar that I go to my graduations. I earned the d#%n diploma and I'm going to celebrate that fact with friends and family! I don't care if I'm graduating alone and friendless. It's a graduation ceremony... I'm not marrying the people! I don't have to know them, like them, or whatever. It's about ME and MY family/friends celebrating MY milestone with ME. It's not just about her, it's for the parents, grandparents, relatives, etc. too. Just because something good and productive makes you uncomfortable is no excuse to watch life pass you by as you instead stay at home doing nothing during a big moment in life.



AudaciousLarue
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03 Jul 2012, 12:54 pm

Quote:
All my kids, and my husband are NT. I'm the aspie in the family.


I'm in high school, and am an aspie. I have friends, but have never "hung out" with them after school, which my folks say is "normal."

Tell her to go if she hasn't already gone. I went to my bro's graduation and it was very, very structured(only the most popular student's who'd rehearsed had to speak)

Also, it's a social event. She could very well meet kids her own age there who may be going to the same college as her next year-she could make a friend there or at least an acquaintance.



globalwolf2010
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06 Jul 2012, 10:19 pm

I would recommend going, if it isn't seriously problematic. Obviously it's her decision to make, but it's sort of a major milestone for a lot of people, even if they don't really know anyone there. My graduation was very heavily structured, with us just sitting down where they put us and being told to come up to get our diplomas. Then, at the end, we threw our hats and someone sprayed silly string all over the place. It was a symbol that a part of my life was over and a new part was beginning, and it was definitely something that I'll remember for the rest of my life (it's probably my AS that will make me remember that it was June 5th of 2009, but hey). If she doesn't want to go, then obviously don't force her to, but it might be more significant for her a few years down the road.



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06 Jul 2012, 11:15 pm

It's already over, so there's no longer a pressing need to reply. :lol:


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globalwolf2010
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07 Jul 2012, 4:11 pm

Albirea wrote:
It's already over, so there's no longer a pressing need to reply. :lol:


It did just hit me that it's the early part of July and I'm responding to a thread on high school graduation. There's...something a bit off about the fact that I found that necessary.



Albirea
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07 Jul 2012, 5:56 pm

That's OK. I do that sometimes too. :lol:


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